7 Year Old Lies All the Time - Can Hypnosis Help?

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Permalink Reply by Ian Jay on January 29, 2010 at 11:30am

To be frank, I would pass this on to someone who has the experience to deal with it. My philosophy is to keep within my scope of experience. Sure, we have to go outside of this to develop - but not with children.

A great question, Gayle. I will encourage you to ask for advice here whenever you feel you need it. Opinions may differ, but you have been honest. That is what is important for you.

Please let us know the outcome.

Ian

Permalink Reply by Kelley Woods on January 29, 2010 at 11:56am

Hello Gayle,
This young fellow is gaining something from telling his lies. Perhaps it is his way to connect with his father, perhaps it is his way to control his life...or perhaps he has fun keeping people guessing and relishing the attention he gets by lying!

I don't know if it's so important to determine the actual why of this behaviour, but if this were my client, I would begin by having him tell ME some big lies, and then ask him to describe all of his feelings as he is doing so. Where does he feel it, what does it look like, sound like, etc? Make sure to ask for calibration of his body before he lies, too. Now do the same with him telling some truths...

I would explain to him that when he tells the truth to others, he is also telling the truth to himself. Does he want to be nice to himself? You could let him have a little conversation with himself to discover how it feels to hear truths and good thoughts and words, allowing him to feel the positive power of thoughts and words.

You can help the boy design some object imagery for his lies...perhaps a black balloon...and let him notice how much air and energy it takes away from him to inflate the lie and then keep it floating. Notice what happens when it is eventually popped (as most lies do get popped)! (Balloons sometimes contain some spit that can splatter all over you, the noise is startling, etc...)

Conversely, truths as some of his favorite imagery can be empowered with traits of his favorite characters, etc. Truths make him stronger, bigger, taller, etc. Anchor this model so that he can tap into it anytime he feels the evil influence of lying, so that he can be the hero and vanquish it with truth.

Just some ideas! Have fun with the boy ~ 7 is such a great age!!!

You may also need to give Mom a primer on language ("don't lie" "just like your Dad", etc) and make sure she reinforces the areas of his life where he DOES have control. They may seem innocuous, but getting to choose which color toothbrush he uses can make a big difference to a little person.

Best wishes,

Kelley

Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on January 29, 2010 at 12:05pm

Hello Gayle,

First of all, kids lie for so many reasons, and yes, you can help the kid with hypnosis, but,
you need to find out why is he lying, is it to avoid punishment? Is his mother constantly questions his visit with his father? she says the father lies all the time and the kid is coping him, could it be he is coping her? I am not saying the kid is not coping the father, I am saying that you only hear one side of the story.

It seems that the kid lies to gain control or to avoid punishment or even both... If you want to work with the kid, the mother cannot be in the room sorry, and you cannot tell her everything the kid tell you if it turns to be another reason for the kid to be punished, especially if it is something the kid says that is going to upset his mother, first you need to make sure you have the kids father consent to work with the kid, as well as his mother, not sure what is the case but teacher involvement will be also good, so you can follow up with the kids improvement.

Also what kind of lies are we talking about?

" The father is not supportive towards helping in this as he does not see it as a problem, he could be right. Since we don't know what kind of lies and if he is not forced to lie depending on the reasons.

The mother feels it is getting worse and fears that her son will end up not know the difference between a lie and the truth if it continues. The kid is already knows the difference between a lie and the truth, that is why he lies.

To me it seems that the mother is hoping to find a reason or something to back her up so she can run the kid from visiting with his father, and that is very sad, in my opinion she needs the hypnosis more then the kid.

Mt assumption is from personal experience, and from helping young clients not with lies but with related issues that lead to finding out why they lie.

You said, Mother is looking for a solution as she says the child knows the difference between telling the truth and lying, and it sometimes takes her up to an hour or more to get the truth out of him. She pushes all the bottom questioning the kid for over an hour, this is insane, because even if the kid tells the truth, she does not except it and nag him for an hour, because she wants to hear what she wants to hear and it is possible that the kids did tell the truth and end up laying to please the mother.

It is a crystal clear... that the kid is the one who is hurting in this relationship, hope you can help the family.

In this case, I think Ian is correct, unless you have both parents approval, and maybe even having the teacher involved.
Make sure to explain your position, that your support is to help the kid and they cannot use you in court, often parents are looking for people to come to court and say what they want to say, this is not a place of sharing sympathy, your job is to educate all with self improvement.

All the best, Doreen Cohanim C.Ht.
www.HypnoCruise.com

Permalink Reply by Graham Old on January 29, 2010 at 2:11pm

Does the child want help with this?

Permalink Reply by Gayle Hilton on January 29, 2010 at 2:16pm

The child does not know the mother is talking to me. I appreciate all the input I have gotten from you "wonderful" hypnotherapists - I believe the best thing for me to do at this point is to pass on this client.... I don't believe I can make this a win-win situation.
Thanks again all - I have learnt something today regarding this kind of situation!!
Have a great weekend all.
Gayle

Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on January 29, 2010 at 5:13pm

Gayle,

If you can convinced the mother to see you for stress reduction and explain when she is too worried over her sons lies, she actually causing more harm, let her know when she learns not to question him, he will start seeing the change and it will be a start for him to know how important it is for him not to lie. and teach her some communication skills followed with bonding and love.

Explain that it is a hard time for him not having both parents together and her job to create a trusting invirmant and not a investigating invirmant.

I hope it helps, I don't see why you need to back a way, you can help mother and son more then you can imagine.

All the best, Doreen Cohanim C.Ht
www.HypnoCruise.com

Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on January 29, 2010 at 5:17pm

Kelley, Great advice, but without the kids father approval, Gayle can easily be involved in a law suit, unless she has both parent consent, because it can be a custody dispute between mother and father. In other hand, Gayle can use your advice into educating mother, this will benefit both mother and son.

Respectfully, Doreen Cohanim C.Ht
www.HypnoCruise.com