the Free Hypnosis Social Network
Let's Stop The Bullshit!
That's right. That's part of our jobs. Stop the limiting beliefs, limiting thoughts, and all the excuses our clients come to us with. And it doesn't matter if the client is in the chair involved with the ritual known as hypnosis, or if they are sitting across from you at the desk. It's our job to stop the bullshit!
I was recently working with a morbidly obese client. She had been overweight most of her life, but not always obese like you might see in kids today. I give an extensive pre-talk, just like you do, and my job, as I see it, is to dispel the myths and preconceived notions about what hypnosis is. I also look to make my clients comfortable and free of fear and doubt, about using this marvelous tool. I set the stage for the "real" hypnosis that takes place later in the session, but I usually am also able to have them experience trance while they are talking with me and I usually verify that trance to them at that time.
When I asked her about her habits and behaviors, to see what we need to improve, she volunteered that she doesn't exercise because she doesn't like to sweat. I couldn't let that comment slip by. It's my job to shake these people up. Here we have a person who has allowed her self image to cause her to go on and off diets, take all kinds of drugs, even have life- threatening gastric by-pass surgery because she has wanted to hold onto certain beliefs that are totally false.
I asked her how she felt after sex? She seemed shocked at first for an instant, and then her shoulders slumped and she allowed the small beginnings of a smile as she said "exhausted". "And what else", I prodded. She started to slowly realize the bullshit she was living, "and sweaty" she admitted. "And how has that prevented you from having sex?" I asked. "it hasn't" was her reply.
So, as I see it, our job is to challenge the bullshit our clients bring in with them, or they'll use them as excuses for staying the same.
In what ways are you re-framing your client's limiting beliefs, thoughts and realities? I'd like to know. As we gather new intel we have more ammunition for the work we love to do.
Was she able to be "cured" with just a few words during a pre-talk? Hell no! But she won't be able to use that excuse again. With me or with herself. And as we whittle away at the excuses and uncover the root cause of "the problem" and neutralize it, we can start to build a new identity for our clients that helps them to live a more satisfying life. Which satisfies both of us.
Marc Carlin
I was recently working with a morbidly obese client. She had been overweight most of her life, but not always obese like you might see in kids today. I give an extensive pre-talk, just like you do, and my job, as I see it, is to dispel the myths and preconceived notions about what hypnosis is. I also look to make my clients comfortable and free of fear and doubt, about using this marvelous tool. I set the stage for the "real" hypnosis that takes place later in the session, but I usually am also able to have them experience trance while they are talking with me and I usually verify that trance to them at that time.
When I asked her about her habits and behaviors, to see what we need to improve, she volunteered that she doesn't exercise because she doesn't like to sweat. I couldn't let that comment slip by. It's my job to shake these people up. Here we have a person who has allowed her self image to cause her to go on and off diets, take all kinds of drugs, even have life- threatening gastric by-pass surgery because she has wanted to hold onto certain beliefs that are totally false.
I asked her how she felt after sex? She seemed shocked at first for an instant, and then her shoulders slumped and she allowed the small beginnings of a smile as she said "exhausted". "And what else", I prodded. She started to slowly realize the bullshit she was living, "and sweaty" she admitted. "And how has that prevented you from having sex?" I asked. "it hasn't" was her reply.
So, as I see it, our job is to challenge the bullshit our clients bring in with them, or they'll use them as excuses for staying the same.
In what ways are you re-framing your client's limiting beliefs, thoughts and realities? I'd like to know. As we gather new intel we have more ammunition for the work we love to do.
Was she able to be "cured" with just a few words during a pre-talk? Hell no! But she won't be able to use that excuse again. With me or with herself. And as we whittle away at the excuses and uncover the root cause of "the problem" and neutralize it, we can start to build a new identity for our clients that helps them to live a more satisfying life. Which satisfies both of us.
Marc Carlin
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Susan French on -
And fair enough back. I guess that's how I feel inside but when it gets into my words the feeling has been controlled though my words speak the truth. Yes, I agree that we can't go around acting out nor is it even good for us or our clients to indulge in an angry response (acting out).
Remember, I was also responding to the idea that any one of us has the right to judge another person's timeline to handle necessary reframes. I think it's arrogant and judgemental as well as harmful to the client, especially those who have been taught to respect authority. Fortunately for me, I was taught to be wary of authority. Might doesn't make right. I was taught to think for myself. However, acting out is something else completely, I agree.
Jan Krüger said:Fair enough, Susan. I think acting out an emotion is not the ideal way of dealing with it, and I'm not quite certain whether it's better than repressing, but to the extent that it gives you positive results, I'm all for it. I just tend to not stop at the half-way point, so personally once I went from repressing to acting out emotions, I didn't stop there. I kept at it until I learned to observe emotions without getting caught up in them, and without shoving them away. It's made a tremendous difference in my life and, I believe, in my ability to communicate with people.
In case it's not clear, I don't advocate not standing up for yourself... but I do think that frothing at the mouth (you're not doing that, I know... I'm just using a stylistic device so I can feel cleverer) doesn't have to be part of the equation. I guess to some extent it depends on which ways of responding to mean words you can do more congruently. I rarely go all resolute on people. I lean more towards laughing it off (which works for me because I truly don't mind anymore) or doing a reversal or pattern interrupt on them. I responded to the image of the enraged bull that you used. I truly do think that that's not quite ideal, but I have absolutely nothing against firm and resolute countering of abuse. I'm not sure whether that's always the best (or the worst) way to deal with it, but it's not like I know anyone's success rates here, anyway. I can only speak from what I've seen myself, and I certainly haven't seen everything.
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