A client with Attitude

Hello,

I have a new client that would like help with not being short with people.

As he put it "In other words a attitude problem". This would be the first time I have work with this kind of issue.

This group really has some talented people in it. I am looking in to tapping in to this wealth of knowledge and ask for your input on how best to help this person with this problem.

One thing is critical is that the type of work he does is very stressful and critical.

The client's job is 911 communication and I am sure this is why he is seeking help with his attitude. I don't have the all the details yet but this is my first impression I get from him.

Any advice on how to approach this issue I would be grateful for your input.

Sidney King, CH

sk@feelbetterhypnosis.com

P.S

If you have a script you would like to share on attitude problem that would be wonderful!

Tags: Attitude, issue

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Permalink Reply by Paul Dennehy (Paul Dee) on February 4, 2010 at 2:56pm

Hi Sidney, A 911 operator needs short sharp accurate information to respond effectively as a professional. It is the most effective way for him to do his job. It gets results. In an emergency. Cool calm delivery of results in a high pressure environment. Short & Sharp to get to the facts. Super!

Obviously spilling into his other life or we wouldn't be discussing this. How do we help him to differtiate? Let me know if you are interested in exploring this further.
Regards,

Paul D

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Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on February 4, 2010 at 10:12pm

Welcome to Quantum Focusing -Sidney

Guided Self-Hypnosis Training -

http://quantumfocusing.com/quantumfocusing/Welcome.html

Sidney King said:

I have learned the Self-Hypnosis 3-method through the NGH course but I don’t like it.
Could you recommend another way of teaching a client Self-Hypnosis.

Thank You

Pattie Freeman Ch.t, said:
Wow..tnat is a stressful but, rewarding job.
I would work on his stress level and show him how to do self hypnosis to help him at home and on the job.
Remember we are all creatures of habit...so by showing him its possible to relieve the stress.. he can see
some hope and maybe learn to relax. He probably takes his job home with him so by showing him to let go
of the stress his home life will be better also.

Hope this helps...

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Permalink Reply by Don on March 9, 2010 at 1:46pm

Hi Sidney,

Here's a WikiHow page on How to Deal with a Proud Person, which is similar to having a client with "attitude." Usually they have a superiority complex to cover up for an inferiority complex, and many of the suggestions contained here can be adapted for use in hypnosis -- plus a little role playing, etc.

Don

How to Deal With a Proud Person

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

After losing his darlin' to his pride, country singer Hylo Brown croons: "Foolish pride, I'll never forgive you in this lifetime."[1] We have all come across that person who refuses to show weakness, give in to an argument, or accept a helping hand. How can you form a meaningful and functional relationship with a proud person?

Steps

Be non-invasive. Proud people can often be irritable or even downright aggressive. These are barriers put up to shield themselves from vulnerability. Recognize this personality trait and resist prying for justification of this person's behavior, as this will only be counterproductive. If the person has already proven to be unresponsive to constructive dialogue, sometimes it's best to accept his or her refusal for the time being.
Come bearing offerings. A little sugar never hurt anyone! The next time you see this person, you might want to bring something that lightens the mood and pleases--perhaps a cup of coffee, a lemon and candied ginger muffin, or a fun story that might be appreciated. A gesture of generosity, even if not necessarily warranted, could help turn things around. Occasionally, the person may not ask for help but will accept help (or offerings) when given without having to ask.
Be intuitive. Although it is best not to pry, you can still observe and decipher such negative behavior in order to identify its "triggers." Get to a point at which you can intuitively recognize when tension may arise and then find a quick way defuse it. These articles might help with redirecting:
Resist taking this behavior personally. You are not the cause. See How to Stop Taking Things Personally.
Focus on the common ground you and the other person share. Perhaps this is a shared work task, a common appreciation for a TV show or musical artist, or a love of fly fishing. If the point of contact is a shared task, find a way to move on from a point of contention and redirect energy to the task at hand. If you are in a social or familial relationship with this person, find ways to cultivate these commonalities. Go fly fishing, or give a subscription to a fly fishing magazine as a gift.
Know your own limits. This is a popular phrase used in yoga, and it may serve you well in your relationship with a proud person. In addition to understanding the other's behavior, it is important to recognize how much you can take of a particular side of this person's personality. If someone is too aggressive, for example, politely find a way out. Maybe you have an urgent deadline on another project or an obligation to someone else to move a couch, pick up groceries, etc. Protect yourself by setting up boundaries.
Recognize territorialism and confrontational behavior. Another person's stubbornness need not cause you to act in like fashion. Concede a point in order to move on. If your point is the better of the two, this will ultimately become clear one way or another, even if at a later date.
Be clear, logical, non-judgmental, and unemotional in your communication. Agree to disagree. See How to Gain Control of Your Emotions.
Rely on your own sense of accomplishment or good will. Overcome disappointment if your proud person is unable to recognize your efforts or express gratitude for your help. This person is probably grateful; s/he is just not able to express it in a way you that you expect or understand.
Understand that every relationship you have with a particular person is a unique one requiring different roles and strategies. Maintaining good relationships with people, whether they be proud or not, requires reflection, flexibility, and generosity. If one keeps this in mind, it will be possible to relate well to most people, even those who are particularly difficult.

Related wikiHows

Sources and Citations

↑ http://www.lpdiscography.com/b/Brownh/hylo.htm

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Deal With a Proud Person. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.