A matter of viewpoint

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jill Semonin PhD- CHt on October 9, 2011 at 6:22pm

I think it is all about rapport and personal preference. There is no right or wrong, only the experience and liking it or moving away from it.

I help others all the time, but certainly tend to have my own issues. Sometimes in helping people, it helps myself and  other times it just doesn't apply, so I tend to always ask those who have more experience, or viewpoints from those whom treat me well and show it.

So, in my own honest opinion for myself is: The rapport built in the beginning is what will make or break the sales pitch regardless of what it's for. I personally will tend to take more advice from someone who's been there and can relate or has experience and/or personally connected with me.

 

Be well~ :)

 

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Lisa on October 10, 2011 at 12:09am

Hi John,

   When framed like that-yes. Training, working on other people, and theory are good, but experience ads value-it imparts things that only experience can. 

   2 practitioners with equal training, intelligence, and years of experience-Ill take the one who has been through the same thing I have or will be every time over someone who never has. One has impressions and ideas about what it is like and the other knows to his core exactly what it is and can be like. Stuff that might not be in the literature or part of training. Externally and internally. Experience informs.

   It can't prevent you from being able to use hypnosis to help others if you haven't even had an experience in trance states (or non states etc) but it can give you insight just watching your clients in it and reading about it can't that just might be very valuable to your clients. Valuable enough for me to use it to choose a practitioner.

    I could go to a Catholic priest for advise on relationships and marriage but I would trust the advise more of someone who spent some time on a couch wondering just what the hell he could have done differently or even if there was anything he could have done to be sleeping in his own bed with his mate.  

   There is a lot more to it than just knowing it really works.

   It is one thing to describe hypnosis and another to experience it.    

   gentle day,

   Lisa

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Christian Madsen on October 10, 2011 at 12:30am

As one with a background in relationship coaching, I find that some of the best people to give relationship advice is those who have been through their own relationship problems and have learned from the experience.  I expect the same can be said in most areas where exchange of ideas and solutions to dealing with problems are a main ingredient in finding a solution to said problems, and hypnosis is no exception.

Naturally knowledge and experience in ones chosen field is very important, but personal experience with the issue at hand is what truly makes a difference in most cases.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Fable Goodman on October 10, 2011 at 2:05am

There is essentially the same discussion going on in this thread started a couple of weeks ago

http://www.hypnothoughts.com/forum/topics/should-an-overweight-pers...

 

I am still in agreement with those who are saying yes... the therapists personal situation

has little or no relevance to the work they can do with clients,

but personal experience in a particular area may help 

 

However, if the relationship counsellor, is brave enough (lacking in proffesional boundaries? )

to disclose to his clients his personal situation, It should ring other alarm bells.

 

In the same way, If a therapist who smokes, answers the door to smoking clients,

with a fag hanging from the lips, It is probably going to ring some alarm bells.

 

Just in the same way, when a client asks about the therapists personal life,

any good therapist/counsellor will reflect the question back to the client,

and not be drawn in to making inappropriate self disclosures.

 

This is not being hypocritaical (as has been suggested in the previous thread),

It is simply appropriate respect of therapeutic boundaries.

 

What the therapist does in thier own free time is one thing, but advertsising it to clients is probably an issue that requires some careful thought.  

 

 

Love and hugs,

 

Lawrie Shaw.

 

 

 

 

 

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by docregal.com on October 10, 2011 at 5:36am

John, this all depends on your belief of whether or not you could benefit from another person's "wisdom" knowing that his personal experience with the matter at hand was "dismal".

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by John Cleesattel on October 10, 2011 at 8:15am

You are absolutely right AJ, which is why I titled the discussion the way that I did, I just phrased it "viewpoint" instead of "belief".

 

John

AJ - DocRegal.com said:

John, this all depends on your belief of whether or not you could benefit from another person's "wisdom" knowing that his personal experience with the matter at hand was "dismal".

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by docregal.com on October 10, 2011 at 9:05am

Thanks, John. Now perhaps it's time to return to that provocative inquiry."Would you seek advice from a marriage counselor who was sleeping on your couch because his wife kicked him out of the house?"

Everybody here wants to know your thoughts (or shall I say "beliefs") on this matter, especially if you make your response from the "viewpoint" of a woman. ;-)

John Cleesattel said:

You are absolutely right AJ, which is why I titled the discussion the way that I did, I just phrased it "viewpoint" instead of "belief".

 

John

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Kelley Woods on October 10, 2011 at 10:14am

If I were married and needing marriage counseling, would I seek advice from said couch surfer? Probably not. Simply because it's my opinion that someone in that state of personal turmoil may not be objective enough to advise clearly. Nor would I accept dental care from a dentist who was reeling from an infected wisdom tooth extraction. Or, a mechanic who couldn't get to work because his car broke down.

I suppose, this means that if the affliction is impairing, then I would defer working with the person. How we determine that...is the question!

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on October 10, 2011 at 11:50am

"A lawyer who acts as his own attorney has a fool for a client." is a great quote, but it does not tell us anything about selecting an attorney to act on our behalf... it tells us that even the best lawyer is acting foolish if he or she defends themselves...

I would not recommend a hypnotist who has not experienced being hypnotized themselves and I have known hypnos who were obese and/or smoked who were very effective in helping clients stop smoking and lose weight. 

I guess the only meaningful yardstick is what works for the client when choosing a hypno.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by John Cleesattel on October 10, 2011 at 12:17pm

You are welcome AJ, I never left that inquiry, we were just identifying the different ways to word it.

As far as making my response from the viewpoint of a gender, I see no value in it. In discussions such as this, I tend to deal in people as a whole, not just sexist viewpoints.

But do feel free to re-read the discussion topic, where I DO give my viewpoint. (i.e. 3rd sentence from the bottom, craftily camouflaged by the words "My view point is..."  LOL)

 

John

 

AJ - DocRegal.com said:

Thanks, John. Now perhaps it's time to return to that provocative inquiry."Would you seek advice from a marriage counselor who was sleeping on your couch because his wife kicked him out of the house?"

Everybody here wants to know your thoughts (or shall I say "beliefs") on this matter, especially if you make your response from the "viewpoint" of a woman. ;-)

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by docregal.com on October 10, 2011 at 1:21pm

The reason to push onwards, John, is that your earlier commentary did not satisfy. And now that we have that cleared up, why not view reality from each gender's perspective? Isn't the language that was originally used somewhat purposeful in that regard?

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by John Cleesattel on October 10, 2011 at 7:42pm

Since I have already stated that I do not feel that the perspective of gender adds value to this discussion, and since I cannot give the perspective of a gender I am not, my previously stated my viewpoint will have to suffice. (Although I am really concerned as to how it would "satisfy" you or not... ;)

 

Answers that start with.."as a woman"...or.. "as a guy"... try to get you to believe they are answering for their gender, when in reality, they are answering as an individual with hopes of their answer carrying more weight.

I cannot count the times I have overheard the phrase "as a woman.. I would never do this.." only to hear from another woman..."not much of a woman then are ya..." The same is true of guys, but usually in reference to "being a man!"  This is why I do not offer gender specific viewpoints. We are all individuals.

 

The original statement was a simple scenario, that did not establish the perspective of either gender. The operative used was "Would YOU". I had hoped that those responding would provide their own view point as they indeed have, and as I had already done.

 

However; if you are inclined to share with us your own feminine reality views on the topic, I am sure there are those here that would get a great deal of entertainment from it.

 

John

AJ - DocRegal.com said:

The reason to push onwards, John, is that your earlier commentary did not satisfy. And now that we have that cleared up, why not view reality from each gender's perspective? Isn't the language that was originally used somewhat purposeful in that regard?

• ▶ Reply

▶ Reply to Discussion

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page