THE PTS STUDY GROUP
the Free Hypnosis Social Network
A Note From The Moderator
I just posted this in another discussion on the site but think it's worth having more people read. The other conversation got a little bit heated at one point and I decided to step in.
Before you read the following open letter from me to you all, please understand how incredible the growth of this site has been and how much I value the dialogue and potential this site has. My goal in sharing this is to help us get back on track a little bit. I think we've had a rash of emotional postings and arguments lately, but truly believe we can resolve it.
without further delay, here ya go...
A Note From the Moderator
(in bold so you take it seriously)
Alright Everyone-
Let's take a moment here to take a step back, a deep breath, and use this as a larger and more important learning experience about communication. There are a lot of emotions and absolutes being passed back and forth here, and I think we can use this as an opportunity to show how the same topic and ideas can be shared in different ways.
For Example, here's the ideal version of this exchange:
Yosef: I know Dave Elman said you can't use hypnosis to heal cancer, but I have heard and feel that that it's possible. Does anyone have experience to back up or refute this?
reply 1: I feel very strongly that hypnosis shouldn't be used in this context and that people making claims about this are hurting our profession. I don't have any research to share with you either way, so I hope someone else will be able to provide it.
reply 2: I haven't seen any data about hypnosis curing cancer. It can't be used on organic issues.
reply 3: Actually #2, I've seen it impact organic issues. What that means about cancer, I'm not sure, but it has resolved some issues that appear to be organic in nature. The relationship between stress and our health is well documented, so some application of this makes sense.
reply 4: I think "cure" is too strong a word for what we can do, but we can definitely achieve symptomatic relief and help people with cancer. You may need to rephrase your question.
etc.
Contrastingly, here is what I've been seeing way to often lately in this forum:
Yosef: Dave Elman said you can't cure cancer with hypnosis. I think he's wrong because of my views and beliefs. What do you think?
reply 1: You are a moron and I hate everything you wrote. As an extension, you have no value in life
reply 2: I'm much smarter than you are, so my opinion or experience has more value. I'm personally offended by the premise of your question.
reply 3: Hey #2, I hope you die in a fire.
reply 4: I've never trusted you, #1, and this is exactly why I said bad things about you in 1994.
reply 1 (again): Dammit #4, you are a tactless boob. Get off this site!
etc.
There are three things that I believe set this site apart from the other hypnosis forums out there. They are (in no order)
1. The Advertising Policy
2. Members inviting friends and peers
3. People feeling safe to post because of the supportive environment.
In the last month the third has been a little less prevalent. We have had an influx of disproportionate emotions lately and people somehow intertwining their opinion with their value. I have personally contacted quite a few people about this in private messages.
Here is what I would like to emphasize over and over to EVERY member of this site:
This is a public forum for people who want to exhibit respect, emotional state control, and effective communication. If you have a private problem, keep it private with the other individual. This site has made it very easy for you to contact them quietly without turning things into a public argument.
This site has grown faster than any hypnosis site or organization that I am aware of. We get over 2 million visits a year and grow by an average of 200 members every single month for the past 2 years. This is simply amazing when you think about it. We are all here with similar goals and intentions, and I think lately some of us have been less effective in meeting the ultimate and highest goal of openly exchanging information.
We are all interested in hypnosis, many of us are passionate about it. Some of us have dedicated our lives to it. That doesn't mean we have to agree, in fact, it strongly implies that we won't sometimes. That's okay. Let's just remember that the person who disagrees with you isn't necessarily a villain or a fool.
Remember, I never learned anything from the person who agrees with me, and the person talking can't be the person learning. Let's spend a little more time listening and asking. Let's spend a lot more time respecting. Let's focus on being interested rather than being right.
Calm Down, contemplate, respond. Let's not waste this resource with silly bickering or public in-fighting. There's a surplus of that elsewhere. Let's focus on what our goal is for this site and our involvement in it.
Thanks,
Scott Sandland
owner, creator, and custodian of HypnoThoughts.com
Before you read the following open letter from me to you all, please understand how incredible the growth of this site has been and how much I value the dialogue and potential this site has. My goal in sharing this is to help us get back on track a little bit. I think we've had a rash of emotional postings and arguments lately, but truly believe we can resolve it.
without further delay, here ya go...
A Note From the Moderator
(in bold so you take it seriously)
Alright Everyone-
Let's take a moment here to take a step back, a deep breath, and use this as a larger and more important learning experience about communication. There are a lot of emotions and absolutes being passed back and forth here, and I think we can use this as an opportunity to show how the same topic and ideas can be shared in different ways.
For Example, here's the ideal version of this exchange:
Yosef: I know Dave Elman said you can't use hypnosis to heal cancer, but I have heard and feel that that it's possible. Does anyone have experience to back up or refute this?
reply 1: I feel very strongly that hypnosis shouldn't be used in this context and that people making claims about this are hurting our profession. I don't have any research to share with you either way, so I hope someone else will be able to provide it.
reply 2: I haven't seen any data about hypnosis curing cancer. It can't be used on organic issues.
reply 3: Actually #2, I've seen it impact organic issues. What that means about cancer, I'm not sure, but it has resolved some issues that appear to be organic in nature. The relationship between stress and our health is well documented, so some application of this makes sense.
reply 4: I think "cure" is too strong a word for what we can do, but we can definitely achieve symptomatic relief and help people with cancer. You may need to rephrase your question.
etc.
Contrastingly, here is what I've been seeing way to often lately in this forum:
Yosef: Dave Elman said you can't cure cancer with hypnosis. I think he's wrong because of my views and beliefs. What do you think?
reply 1: You are a moron and I hate everything you wrote. As an extension, you have no value in life
reply 2: I'm much smarter than you are, so my opinion or experience has more value. I'm personally offended by the premise of your question.
reply 3: Hey #2, I hope you die in a fire.
reply 4: I've never trusted you, #1, and this is exactly why I said bad things about you in 1994.
reply 1 (again): Dammit #4, you are a tactless boob. Get off this site!
etc.
There are three things that I believe set this site apart from the other hypnosis forums out there. They are (in no order)
1. The Advertising Policy
2. Members inviting friends and peers
3. People feeling safe to post because of the supportive environment.
In the last month the third has been a little less prevalent. We have had an influx of disproportionate emotions lately and people somehow intertwining their opinion with their value. I have personally contacted quite a few people about this in private messages.
Here is what I would like to emphasize over and over to EVERY member of this site:
This is a public forum for people who want to exhibit respect, emotional state control, and effective communication. If you have a private problem, keep it private with the other individual. This site has made it very easy for you to contact them quietly without turning things into a public argument.
This site has grown faster than any hypnosis site or organization that I am aware of. We get over 2 million visits a year and grow by an average of 200 members every single month for the past 2 years. This is simply amazing when you think about it. We are all here with similar goals and intentions, and I think lately some of us have been less effective in meeting the ultimate and highest goal of openly exchanging information.
We are all interested in hypnosis, many of us are passionate about it. Some of us have dedicated our lives to it. That doesn't mean we have to agree, in fact, it strongly implies that we won't sometimes. That's okay. Let's just remember that the person who disagrees with you isn't necessarily a villain or a fool.
Remember, I never learned anything from the person who agrees with me, and the person talking can't be the person learning. Let's spend a little more time listening and asking. Let's spend a lot more time respecting. Let's focus on being interested rather than being right.
Calm Down, contemplate, respond. Let's not waste this resource with silly bickering or public in-fighting. There's a surplus of that elsewhere. Let's focus on what our goal is for this site and our involvement in it.
Thanks,
Scott Sandland
owner, creator, and custodian of HypnoThoughts.com
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on -
Thank you Scott, Thank your brain for me, and lets hope everyone of us get the clear message.
Much love and respect, Doreen Cohanim C.Ht
www.HypnoCruise.com
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Permalink Reply by Jackie Spencer on -
Scott, you're my hero.
We have a lot of expertise here. This is a unique place, ideal for sharing. My life is richer for the friends I've made that I would otherwise never know and my clientele benefits.
When I first found HypnoThoughts a few months ago I felt I had found home and family. Now some family members have turned cannibalistic and are trying to eat each other alive or at least leave them curled up in a ball of humiliation. The animosity has caused me and a few others to step back, post less, contribute less and to sadly shake our heads more.
We are professional communicators. Let's not forget that a lack of common courtesy does not reflect on the person toward whom it is directed.
Hmm...I think there's something to that. What does what you're saying say about you?
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Permalink Reply by Graham Old on -
Scott, there have also been a number of messages sent to people's inboxes and walls with similar "you said this... so you're a moron" sentiments.
What seems undeniable to me is that the increase in hostility has coincided with an increase in posts that seem to be trying to be controversial to a) get the poster that kind of reputation or b) just wind people up.
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Permalink Reply by Leshem Yosef on -
I'm 100% with you Scott just want to fix
Yosef: Dave Elman said you can't cure cancer with hypnosis. I think he's wrong because of my views and beliefs. What do you think?
I don't think or beliefs he is wrong
I know that there is new experience in the subject that he didn't had in his time
But I must admit I was surprised when he said that because I had expectation for a different knowledge
But I'm here to have fun and if I wouldn't I would just move on-so I'm hear mean I enjoy HT
Thank you Scott
yosef
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Permalink Reply by Kelley Woods on -
So Jackie...rather than recede from participation, do what I do: continue to engage, selectively. All experience is the opportunity for growth and through it we continue to learn, not only about others, but more importantly, about ourselves.
These uncomfortable exchanges can be rewarding in a twisted way! And besides, we need you.
Jackie Spencer said:Scott, you're my hero.
We have a lot of expertise here. This is a unique place, ideal for sharing. My life is richer for the friends I've made that I would otherwise never know and my clientele benefits.
When I first found HypnoThoughts a few months ago I felt I had found home and family. Now some family members have turned cannibalistic and are trying to eat each other alive or at least leave them curled up in a ball of humiliation. The animosity has caused me and a few others to step back, post less, contribute less and to sadly shake our heads more.
We are professional communicators. Let's not forget that a lack of common courtesy does not reflect on the person toward whom it is directed.
Hmm...I think there's something to that. What does what you're saying say about you?
-
Permalink Reply by Don on -
Hi Scott,
I agree with every word you have said here. But I'm sure you saw the recent blog posting which observed that one out of four Americans (and presumably citizens of other nations as well) is mentally ill, and suggesting that the reader cast a quick look around. If the first three people you happen to see are okay -- well, you're it!
Actually, it isn't quite that bad, because people get better just as they can get worse, and these are episodes which occur over the course of a lifetime. But let's just take a look at four of the twelve personality disorders summarized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association (p.629):
Paranoid Personality Disorder is a pattern of distrust and suspiciousness such that others' motives are interpreted as malevolent.
Antisocial Personality Disorder is a pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy.
Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder is a pattern of preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and control.
Hmmm. . . .
To make things even worse, people can have more than one personality disorder at a time, or they can have traits of one or more of the personality disorders (i.e., enough to make life miserable for others on Hypnothoughts) without qualifying for a full diganosis. And of course I haven't even mentioned the other major categories of mental disorders, such as dementia, paranoia (now called delusional disorder), psychotic, and mood disorders, etc.
What's the probability of one or more people in the acute phase of mental illness online during the course of any gven week, as Hypnothoughts continues to grow? Pretty darn good, I would say. And a gentle remonstrance obvioulsy is not enough for the likes of a paranoid schizophrenic. So what's a body to do?
Alas, it's so much easier to point out a problem than to fix it. But there must be something that can be done. Facebook, with an enrollment of about three hundred million (roughly equivalent to the entire U.S. population), manages to keep going without major disruptions from cybernuts (until they periodically decide to change their format). Perhaps they, or some of the other social networking sites, can provide some good models for bring order our of chaos. But if not, then I agree with Kelley Woods. We can also grow from selective engagement.
Don
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Permalink Reply by Jill Semonin PhD- CHt on -
Kudos Scott~
I will admit, I refuse to argue over the same things over and over, so I generally pull out of a conversation the minute it becomes rude. I've pulled out of a lot of conversations as of lately and refused to explain my views, due to what you are saying. I just don't have time to waste on nasty comments.
I come here to learn, meet others like myself and perhaps help others by sharing.
Thank you Mods, for helping this forum be a better place.
Jill
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Permalink Reply by Fiona McKeand on -
Thank you, Scott, for stepping in and re-aligning things. I don't post much because I feel that, as of yet, I don't have much experience to share (this will change and I will be more active as a result), and to be fair, people have always been helpful to me and no-one has been rude to me, but I feel a whole lot more comfortable now.
Much appreciated.
Fiona
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Permalink Reply by Walt Potter on
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Scott,
Words like yours are one of the things that make this site worthwhile. Thank you!
It's been sad to see a good topic derailed by nasty comments.
While these things will happen again, I look forward to good conversation on interesting topics.
Walt
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Permalink Reply by amber lee poole on -
Hi Scott,
Thank you xox
Amber
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Permalink Reply by Don on
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Hi Folks,
Some of you may know from my previous postings that I have strong views on health care. We had "a frank and fair" exchange of views on HT not long ago. No enemies were made, and if any minds were changed, they were the readers on the sidelines (which is were the people are who will decide the issue). The thread eventually petered out, and everyone was satisfied.
Last night, my wife told me that a Facebook friend had posted to her yesterday that if anything ever happened to me and my wife didn't have insurance coverage any more, she was welcome to come and live in her friend's house. "And if we don't get along, I have a strong magnet on my refrigerator that I can put on top of your pacemaker." She is a nurse, and she knew that would set off her defibrillator. We were horrified. My wife "unfriended" and "blocked" her, which "removed all traces of her on Facebook." They can't see each other's threads and postings, they can't e-mail each other, and they can't see or comment on each other's pictures, profiles, or member pages any more.
There are some awfully nice people on HT -- in fact, most of them are. But the person my wife unfriended yesterday is here too. I believe that unless HT adopts a procedure similar to Facebook, which allows individual members to block those who are unable to stay within the realm of civil discourse, the probabilities are statistically certain that they will spoil things for the rest of us as HT continues to grow.
I believe that your lawyer will tell you that a mere disclaimer is not a defense against "vicarious liability" -- that is, if a person knows, or should have known, that something is likely to happen and allows it to happen anyway by failing to take reasonable preventive action, they're not off the hook when something does happen just because they have said ahead of time that they're not responsible.Some terrible things have happened to Facebook members, but at least their management team can argue that they took all the reasonable precautions that were available.
I guess I sound more strident than others on this thread -- but hey, I work in the nut wing of a supermax prison, and I used to teach statistics! I know how likely it is that you're going to meet up with some of these blighters, or that you already have.
Don
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