the Free Hypnosis Social Network
A Note From The Moderator
I just posted this in another discussion on the site but think it's worth having more people read. The other conversation got a little bit heated at one point and I decided to step in.
Before you read the following open letter from me to you all, please understand how incredible the growth of this site has been and how much I value the dialogue and potential this site has. My goal in sharing this is to help us get back on track a little bit. I think we've had a rash of emotional postings and arguments lately, but truly believe we can resolve it.
without further delay, here ya go...
A Note From the Moderator
(in bold so you take it seriously)
Alright Everyone-
Let's take a moment here to take a step back, a deep breath, and use this as a larger and more important learning experience about communication. There are a lot of emotions and absolutes being passed back and forth here, and I think we can use this as an opportunity to show how the same topic and ideas can be shared in different ways.
For Example, here's the ideal version of this exchange:
Yosef: I know Dave Elman said you can't use hypnosis to heal cancer, but I have heard and feel that that it's possible. Does anyone have experience to back up or refute this?
reply 1: I feel very strongly that hypnosis shouldn't be used in this context and that people making claims about this are hurting our profession. I don't have any research to share with you either way, so I hope someone else will be able to provide it.
reply 2: I haven't seen any data about hypnosis curing cancer. It can't be used on organic issues.
reply 3: Actually #2, I've seen it impact organic issues. What that means about cancer, I'm not sure, but it has resolved some issues that appear to be organic in nature. The relationship between stress and our health is well documented, so some application of this makes sense.
reply 4: I think "cure" is too strong a word for what we can do, but we can definitely achieve symptomatic relief and help people with cancer. You may need to rephrase your question.
etc.
Contrastingly, here is what I've been seeing way to often lately in this forum:
Yosef: Dave Elman said you can't cure cancer with hypnosis. I think he's wrong because of my views and beliefs. What do you think?
reply 1: You are a moron and I hate everything you wrote. As an extension, you have no value in life
reply 2: I'm much smarter than you are, so my opinion or experience has more value. I'm personally offended by the premise of your question.
reply 3: Hey #2, I hope you die in a fire.
reply 4: I've never trusted you, #1, and this is exactly why I said bad things about you in 1994.
reply 1 (again): Dammit #4, you are a tactless boob. Get off this site!
etc.
There are three things that I believe set this site apart from the other hypnosis forums out there. They are (in no order)
1. The Advertising Policy
2. Members inviting friends and peers
3. People feeling safe to post because of the supportive environment.
In the last month the third has been a little less prevalent. We have had an influx of disproportionate emotions lately and people somehow intertwining their opinion with their value. I have personally contacted quite a few people about this in private messages.
Here is what I would like to emphasize over and over to EVERY member of this site:
This is a public forum for people who want to exhibit respect, emotional state control, and effective communication. If you have a private problem, keep it private with the other individual. This site has made it very easy for you to contact them quietly without turning things into a public argument.
This site has grown faster than any hypnosis site or organization that I am aware of. We get over 2 million visits a year and grow by an average of 200 members every single month for the past 2 years. This is simply amazing when you think about it. We are all here with similar goals and intentions, and I think lately some of us have been less effective in meeting the ultimate and highest goal of openly exchanging information.
We are all interested in hypnosis, many of us are passionate about it. Some of us have dedicated our lives to it. That doesn't mean we have to agree, in fact, it strongly implies that we won't sometimes. That's okay. Let's just remember that the person who disagrees with you isn't necessarily a villain or a fool.
Remember, I never learned anything from the person who agrees with me, and the person talking can't be the person learning. Let's spend a little more time listening and asking. Let's spend a lot more time respecting. Let's focus on being interested rather than being right.
Calm Down, contemplate, respond. Let's not waste this resource with silly bickering or public in-fighting. There's a surplus of that elsewhere. Let's focus on what our goal is for this site and our involvement in it.
Thanks,
Scott Sandland
owner, creator, and custodian of HypnoThoughts.com
Before you read the following open letter from me to you all, please understand how incredible the growth of this site has been and how much I value the dialogue and potential this site has. My goal in sharing this is to help us get back on track a little bit. I think we've had a rash of emotional postings and arguments lately, but truly believe we can resolve it.
without further delay, here ya go...
A Note From the Moderator
(in bold so you take it seriously)
Alright Everyone-
Let's take a moment here to take a step back, a deep breath, and use this as a larger and more important learning experience about communication. There are a lot of emotions and absolutes being passed back and forth here, and I think we can use this as an opportunity to show how the same topic and ideas can be shared in different ways.
For Example, here's the ideal version of this exchange:
Yosef: I know Dave Elman said you can't use hypnosis to heal cancer, but I have heard and feel that that it's possible. Does anyone have experience to back up or refute this?
reply 1: I feel very strongly that hypnosis shouldn't be used in this context and that people making claims about this are hurting our profession. I don't have any research to share with you either way, so I hope someone else will be able to provide it.
reply 2: I haven't seen any data about hypnosis curing cancer. It can't be used on organic issues.
reply 3: Actually #2, I've seen it impact organic issues. What that means about cancer, I'm not sure, but it has resolved some issues that appear to be organic in nature. The relationship between stress and our health is well documented, so some application of this makes sense.
reply 4: I think "cure" is too strong a word for what we can do, but we can definitely achieve symptomatic relief and help people with cancer. You may need to rephrase your question.
etc.
Contrastingly, here is what I've been seeing way to often lately in this forum:
Yosef: Dave Elman said you can't cure cancer with hypnosis. I think he's wrong because of my views and beliefs. What do you think?
reply 1: You are a moron and I hate everything you wrote. As an extension, you have no value in life
reply 2: I'm much smarter than you are, so my opinion or experience has more value. I'm personally offended by the premise of your question.
reply 3: Hey #2, I hope you die in a fire.
reply 4: I've never trusted you, #1, and this is exactly why I said bad things about you in 1994.
reply 1 (again): Dammit #4, you are a tactless boob. Get off this site!
etc.
There are three things that I believe set this site apart from the other hypnosis forums out there. They are (in no order)
1. The Advertising Policy
2. Members inviting friends and peers
3. People feeling safe to post because of the supportive environment.
In the last month the third has been a little less prevalent. We have had an influx of disproportionate emotions lately and people somehow intertwining their opinion with their value. I have personally contacted quite a few people about this in private messages.
Here is what I would like to emphasize over and over to EVERY member of this site:
This is a public forum for people who want to exhibit respect, emotional state control, and effective communication. If you have a private problem, keep it private with the other individual. This site has made it very easy for you to contact them quietly without turning things into a public argument.
This site has grown faster than any hypnosis site or organization that I am aware of. We get over 2 million visits a year and grow by an average of 200 members every single month for the past 2 years. This is simply amazing when you think about it. We are all here with similar goals and intentions, and I think lately some of us have been less effective in meeting the ultimate and highest goal of openly exchanging information.
We are all interested in hypnosis, many of us are passionate about it. Some of us have dedicated our lives to it. That doesn't mean we have to agree, in fact, it strongly implies that we won't sometimes. That's okay. Let's just remember that the person who disagrees with you isn't necessarily a villain or a fool.
Remember, I never learned anything from the person who agrees with me, and the person talking can't be the person learning. Let's spend a little more time listening and asking. Let's spend a lot more time respecting. Let's focus on being interested rather than being right.
Calm Down, contemplate, respond. Let's not waste this resource with silly bickering or public in-fighting. There's a surplus of that elsewhere. Let's focus on what our goal is for this site and our involvement in it.
Thanks,
Scott Sandland
owner, creator, and custodian of HypnoThoughts.com
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Don on -
Roy Hunter said:Sometimes I avoid contributing to certain discussion groups because of the rudeness already directed at people who have already posted.
Flame wars burn good comments and discourage even some veteran hypnosis professionals from contributing...and for me it just does NOT justify flames by saying: "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen." Someone actually posted that very comment to me publicly years ago in the very first hypnosis forum, the "alt.hypnosis" group after my rebuttal to a flaming criticism.
Roy Hunter
Hi Roy, As Walt Potter recently told me, "A little flame is okay, but arson I can do without."
Behaviorists would say that people can learn to be reinforced by practically anything -- including getting someone else burned up at them. So the best rule is indeed to withdraw reinforcement when somebody exhibits an undesirable response -- i.e., "ignore the behavior and act deaf, dumb, and blind when it occurs." If you respond to their acceptable behaviors and ignore the others, you will eventually shape their responses in a more desirable direction while sumultaneously extinguishing the behaviors we find reprehensible.
You know, of course, from our face-to-face conversatons in the past that I'm not a behaviorist, and I know that you aren't one either. But sometimes this kind of a "dog-training approach" is effective. Woof!
Don
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Permalink Reply by Don on
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Don Gibbons, Ph.D. said:Roy Hunter said:Sometimes I avoid contributing to certain discussion groups because of the rudeness already directed at people who have already posted.
Flame wars burn good comments and discourage even some veteran hypnosis professionals from contributing...and for me it just does NOT justify flames by saying: "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen." Someone actually posted that very comment to me publicly years ago in the very first hypnosis forum, the "alt.hypnosis" group after my rebuttal to a flaming criticism.
Roy Hunter
Hi Roy,
As Walt Potter recently told me, "A little flame is okay, but arson I can do without."
I think you've hit the proverbial nail on the head. Behaviorists would say that people can learn to be reinforced by practically anything -- including getting someone else "burned up" at them, to stay with the flame war analogy. So the best rule is indeed to withdraw reinforcement when somebody exhibits an undesirable response -- i.e., "ignore the behavior and act deaf, dumb, and blind when it occurs." If you respond to their acceptable behaviors and ignore the others, you will eventually shape their responses in a more desirable direction while sumultaneously extinguishing the behaviors we find reprehensible.
You know, of course, from our face-to-face conversatons in the past that I'm not a behaviorist, and I know that you aren't one either. But sometimes this kind of a "dog-training approach" is effective.
Don
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Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on -
I really am fascinated by the bird and the whatnot -- Adrian
It effortlesly conveys a powerful symbolic message and moves me, even though I know it was/is staged-- (That's right)
Thanks for sharing-
Michael E.
Anyway here's a picture of a bird and whatnot. Enjoy!
Thanks :-)
Adrian
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Permalink Reply by Duncan Murray on -
Hi All
Just going to put my 2p on this thread...as a personal view it was needed. I am a newbie here and have been at times very touched by the generosity of some members and at times rather disturbed by put-downs combined with a lack of any apparent humour between others...but I suppose that is life and yes there is a thriving community here of therapists...some of whom should know better...so thank you Scott for reminding us all to behave with common courtesy to each other...even though common courtesy can be somewhat uncommon...
As a hypno that lives in a rural environment (well right out in the sticks) and works from home I see very few other hypnos to exchange ideas and approaches with, let alone be able to engage in meaningful discussion/debate and gain learning from people across the world that have greater experience than I do...that is an incredible resource to be able to tap into...
And yes we do all have different approaches, different schools of thought, avoid some techniques and utilise others - that is the mix of the craft...and a gift that can enable growth personally in the profession... and for the greater good of the profession...if it is appreciated and nurtured...
And just a parting thought or two -
our minds are like parachutes, they work best when open -
and secondly this can be a forum that is lively, full of constructive criticism and free from unnecessary and needless 'put-downs' to our own self-images!
Thaaaat's right!
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Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on
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Yes- yes -- The humour and wit of the communication bypass the critical factor -- I know what you are doing and I really, really like what you are suggesting-- I love this kind of creativity--
me
Adrian Tannock said:Michael Ellner said:I really am fascinated by the bird and the whatnot -- Adrian
It effortlesly conveys a powerful symbolic message and moves me, even though I know it was/is staged-- (That's right)
Thanks for sharing-
Michael E.
I knew you'd dig it -- Michael. I love the message in the pic.
Doesn't matter that it's Photoshopped (or feet glued to sign) after all, suspension of disbelief is part of what we do, no?
Cheers,
Adrian
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Permalink Reply by Susan French on -
Hi Sheila,
I miss you and I am also very thin-skinned but with a very hot temper...lol.
Susan
Sheila M. Street, CH CI T.NLP said:Hi Scott:
I appreciate what you have said here, and agree with your ideas of what appropriate communications looks like.
I used to post more than I do now. I'm one of those people with, admittedly, an exceptionally thin skin, so rather than risk it been torn to shreds by others who only know how to attack when providing critiques, I have pretty much avoided even reading the posts where I discover those individuals have posted, because if they're not ripping me to shreds, they're doing it to some other poor unsuspecting soul. Just because the internet is "free" supposedly, doesn't give people the right to treat it as the "wild, wild, west" where others are concerned.
So until such people are perhaps reigned in a little tighter, my time here is becoming less. While I probably have as much to contribute as the next guy (maybe more, having been involved with hypnosis in one form or another for well over 30 years), and I do appreciate what Scott has attempted to do here, I am less inclined to share now, or read as much here now, as I did a year or so ago, when I first became a member here. My other pet peeve is the endless trails of repeated threads - doesn't anyone know how to "trim"?
Just thought it was appropriate to let it been known why I'm no longer very visible here. Not that I'll be missed all the much - except by perhaps a few closer acquaintances.
Sheila
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Permalink Reply by Susan French on
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Guys, guys, guys (and girls too),
What are spontaneous remissions but some place in the mind/brain/body that "clicked" into a self-healing mode that we can't (as yet) duplicate according to scientific method of replicability?
New research, however, shows that our thoughts and our feelings create definite and measurable changes in the body, including self-healing. But, let's remember, you can't patent "self-healing," so it gets no grant money from the NIH or NIMH or anyone else. Sad but true.
However, the pharmaceutical companies finally realized that, while they can't "patent" vitamins and supplements, they can profit by selling them, so they finally started to stop fighting and joined us. Perhaps these big corporations will see the wisdom in copyright rather than patent and get behind more research into "self" healing (and hypnosis-aided healing).
Just my fiddy cen' worth.
Susan
Rick Collingwood said:Hey Yosef. Nothing really CURES cancer, but hypnosis done the right way can sure make a sufferer feel a lot better while they go through their treatments. You can floow this link to a small clinical trial I did in 2005 http://www.mindmotivations.com/hypnosis-cancer-treatment.shtml It needs to be kept in perspective but hypnosis is definately an advantageous allied therapy.
Leshem Yosef said:I'm 100% with you Scott just want to fix
Yosef: Dave Elman said you can't cure cancer with hypnosis. I think he's wrong because of my views and beliefs. What do you think?
I don't think or beliefs he is wrong
I know that there is new experience in the subject that he didn't had in his time
But I must admit I was surprised when he said that because I had expectation for a different knowledge
But I'm here to have fun and if I wouldn't I would just move on-so I'm hear mean I enjoy HT
Thank you Scott
yosef
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Permalink Reply by Fable Goodman on -
Jesus Gonzalez Jaen said:You should create a banner which entitled "Rules", and into it, you had all the rules of behaviour inside the Forums and Chat, so everyone who are new members (or even the old ones) could read it, and there won't be any misunderstandings any more.
Jesus
Hello Everyone,
Thanks Jesus,
When I Joined hypnothoughts, I am sure that there was such a banner, or certainly there was some information prominantly displayed which in my memory was guidelines for posting to discussions.
It was something along the lines of making postings which were respectful, and furthered the discussion,and in the spirit of community, and maybe something about staying on topic.. And something about not making negative/critical postings, not engaging in flame wars.
Now I have searched around a few times over the past months, and not seen any guidelines for posting, apart from comments within the discussion threads.
Does anyone remember more of those guidelines than what I do?
Perhaps they are still here somewhere, and I just can't see them.
I don't like the concepts of 'Should' or 'Rules' but I do agree with Jesus, that some form of clearly stated 'guidelines' would be helpful for some members.
I would far rather the guidelines came from some sort of consensus within the community.
On a personal level, some longer standing members, may have noticed that over the past several months, I have not been posting in discussions nearly as much as I used to.
This is certainly to some degree, connected with the theme of this thread.
Love and hugs,
Fable
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Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on
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Susan, et al,
I fear something else is going on -- The vitamin/supplement industry has a vested interest in networking and working together to fight Medical regulation of vitamin and supplements -- They inform their customers who raise hell with their government reps and the FDA is beaten back... However in the last several years big pharma has been purchasing vitamin and supplement companies and we are one step closer to regulation which would serve Big Pharma's agenda.
Michael E.
Susan French said:Guys, guys, guys (and girls too),
What are spontaneous remissions but some place in the mind/brain/body that "clicked" into a self-healing mode that we can't (as yet) duplicate according to scientific method of replicability?
New research, however, shows that our thoughts and our feelings create definite and measurable changes in the body, including self-healing. But, let's remember, you can't patent "self-healing," so it gets no grant money from the NIH or NIMH or anyone else. Sad but true.
However, the pharmaceutical companies finally realized that, while they can't "patent" vitamins and supplements, they can profit by selling them, so they finally started to stop fighting and joined us. Perhaps these big corporations will see the wisdom in copyright rather than patent and get behind more research into "self" healing (and hypnosis-aided healing).
Just my fiddy cen' worth.
Susan
Rick Collingwood said:Hey Yosef. Nothing really CURES cancer, but hypnosis done the right way can sure make a sufferer feel a lot better while they go through their treatments. You can floow this link to a small clinical trial I did in 2005 http://www.mindmotivations.com/hypnosis-cancer-treatment.shtml It needs to be kept in perspective but hypnosis is definately an advantageous allied therapy.
Leshem Yosef said:I'm 100% with you Scott just want to fix
Yosef: Dave Elman said you can't cure cancer with hypnosis. I think he's wrong because of my views and beliefs. What do you think?
I don't think or beliefs he is wrong
I know that there is new experience in the subject that he didn't had in his time
But I must admit I was surprised when he said that because I had expectation for a different knowledge
But I'm here to have fun and if I wouldn't I would just move on-so I'm hear mean I enjoy HT
Thank you Scott
yosef
-
Permalink Reply by Cheryl Westley on -
I just want to say....
THANK YOU
You moderators are awesome.
(....referring to more current events coinciding with the date of this post.)
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