A woman who is obsessed with another man

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Permalink Reply by Kelley Woods on July 1, 2011 at 11:53am

Hi Warren,

This is a piece of cake! The great news is that since this client is actually hiring you to help her change her mindset, you know that this is what she really desires. Chances are that most of the work is already done by time the two of you get together.

I would find out from her what she is gaining from obsessing over the gentleman and then ask her how else she might find that. Let her give you several methods to fill that need.

I would, in trance, use a technique that is effective in helping people stop over-eating. I call it the "few bites routine". It will work as a great metaphor for obsessing about the forbidden.

Lead her to a setting where she will, alone, enjoy her favorite food.

Let her take a first bite, dining like a gourmet. She admires the food visually, taking in the colors, and textures...and then enjoys the aroma. She takes her first bite. Have her notice how that makes her feel, as she chews it and then swallows.

Now instruct her to enjoy a second bite. Elaborate a bit less on the details and modalities.

And a third bite, as your patter is even more brief.

And another...and then, tell her, "Now, I could continue with this eating thing, but I believe you are getting the idea: that it's just the first few bites of our favorite food that gives us that we really crave...and after that, it quickly begins to fade..."

"And when you learn and understand this fact, it's easy to see that it's not necessary to pursue more food. In fact, it's easy to imagine yourself leaving that food...now...just pushing away from it. Notice how good that feels!" etc...

 

You can customize this to mirror her situation. If appropriate, you can have her sever those emotional cravings to the meal, itself (letting this married man go...)

 

Be sure to highlight the fact that she is perfectly capable of satisfying herself, that her happiness and joy reside inside herself and show her how to tap into that.

Best wishes,

Kelley

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Permalink Reply by WarrenYork on July 1, 2011 at 2:36pm

Thanks for your response Kelley. It makes a lot of sense to treat this as a habit or a compulsive disorder.

I appreciate it.

 

Warren

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Permalink Reply by Kelley Woods on July 2, 2011 at 6:00am

You are most welcome, Warren. I wouldn't go so far as to view this as a disorder, though. It's more likely an unmet need for love, in the form of craving stimulation or attention, which we all desire. The key is to help her find the source of love within.

:) Kelley

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