Borderline Personality Disorder

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Permalink Reply by Henxy on September 7, 2010 at 8:27am

Hi,
What are you asking for?

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Permalink Reply by tc_Burt on September 7, 2010 at 8:30am

I need some coping skills or some way to deal with this, it is destroying my family, and me psychologically, I have to work from early this morning and so now I am still up at 3.40am having to monitor her and her mood is less than co-operative much less realistic

Henxy said:

Hi,
What are you asking for?

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Permalink Reply by Henxy on September 7, 2010 at 8:59am

Hi TC, the problem as you know with PD is that it's not treatable, which is why it's not classified as sectionable. So the coping will tend to be you, rather than trying to change her. PD is difficult to say the least; getting the rest of your family as much support as possible and as much help as possible will ease the load.
Best wishes.

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Permalink Reply by Cheryl Westley on September 7, 2010 at 10:10am

This may be a long shot... but Faster EFT can be used on some people like that (I see no harm in trying)... tapping on them or leading them to tap on themselves for "the other person's problem" will end up helping them inside - what they might actually be projecting.

Basic framework to the PD person would be "You know that problem you're having with so-and-so, they're really a problem aren't they? Let's tap on them and their problem..." and proceed to tap on the PD person about "the other person's problem." I understand that this can have a positive effect.

Go ahead, let them project to their heart's content. Physically tap them on the issues that they perceive in others, and in so doing it will heal them.

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Permalink Reply by Rob McKeon on September 7, 2010 at 5:22pm

I'm not sure if you are asking for strategies of coping for yourself or for the person with BPD.

Borderline Personality Disorder has been treated with good results using Marsha Linehan's dialectical behaviour therapy. One of the components of that therapy is mindfulness and developing a "wise" mind which is an integration of the rational and emotional. That should be doable in a hypnotherapeutic context.

If you want to look at the components of dialectical behaviour therapy for suggestions here is a PhD thesis from someone from my country on dialectical behaviour therapy and borderline personality disorder:
http://doras.dcu.ie/2367/1/austin_bayley_2009.pdf

For practical things you can do with dialectical behaviour therapy to help check out this self-help site for it:
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/
Check out in particular the transcripts from Marsha Linehan on techniques for
Mindfulness; Distracting and Self-Soothing; Improving the Moment and Pros & Cons; Opposite Action; Radical Acceptance:
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/dbt_video_text.html

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Permalink Reply by Jenny Lynn on September 8, 2010 at 2:33am

Hi TC,
This may not be a welcome email so I apologise in advance if it angers you. It's intention is to shed some light. I have treated many people with so called psychiatric diagnoses be it OCD or BPD among others and it's important to remember that they are only descriptive labels. There is rarely anything organically wrong with these people. It's just the psychiatry has to keep itself in legitimised employment....

Secondly, often the 'condition' relates to relationships that people have with their closest members of the family. If you find yourself always the strong or the controlling one in the relationship, then she is going to relinquish much more easily responsibility for her own mental state. In these circumstances, the laws of 'co-dependency' start to kick in. Google the word codependency and see what you get. Usually one side of a co-dependent partnership is trying to mitigate the effects of someone else behaviour and is rescuing the other person. Meanwhile the other person is doing their best to escape from, what they see as the control that their partner has over them.

I find as every year that passes, that it's harder and harder for me to treat people, especially close family members in isolation. Usually there is a system that supports some kind of anomalous 'mental illness' and I work hard to address not only the system, but the individual's response to their family system.

At the very least, getting yourself feeling calmer and more able to cope with her 'condition' will help. So book yourself in to see someone and discover how you can unhook from the dramas and find some peace.
Best wishes
Jenny
www.readyourclient.com





tc_Burt said:

I need some coping skills or some way to deal with this, it is destroying my family, and me psychologically, I have to work from early this morning and so now I am still up at 3.40am having to monitor her and her mood is less than co-operative much less realistic

Henxy said:

Hi,
What are you asking for?

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Permalink Reply by Antoine Pruyssers on September 8, 2010 at 4:29am

I suggest you take some (hypnotic)counseling together with your wife.
We here on HT can give you pointers, but only based on your information (being very subjective), and that's not going to really help you any further.
From your short writing, I conclude that you feel to have to stay on your toes 24/7, what can lead to irritations, and conflicts.
Ask yourself this question:"Is postponing counseling, worth losing your relationship for, or can I stand living like this for 10 years?" Because that's the danger if you don't resolve this issue.

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Permalink Reply by tc_Burt on September 8, 2010 at 6:13am

Thanks guys, I felt I was at the end of my rope last night, and thanks Cheryl, I should have resorted to EFT before becoming totally overwhelmed by my adult child's behaviour.

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Permalink Reply by Cheryl Westley on September 8, 2010 at 7:41am

TC, do EFT on yourself first, to practice... the benefits are phenomenal. If you have any questions about how to do it, I'll tell you where I learned how to do mine. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAhNSHNyGd4

It's been transforming. I healed myself first, now I've started sharing it with others - with amazing results. Seeing someone I love very much, heal, strikes a strong chord deep within my being.

tc_Burt said:

Thanks guys, I felt I was at the end of my rope last night, and thanks Cheryl, I should have resorted to EFT before becoming totally overwhelmed by my adult child's behaviour.

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