Client told by her doctor hypnotherapy is a rip-off...she believes it.! Your advice please??

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Karena on February 6, 2010 at 2:57am

Kathleen and Bruce,
you are both right in my view. I'm the type that always has to be sure I don't want someone to heal more than they do themselves or I end up de-energized over the process. I've decided she has to take responsibility for her life and I don't need to work with people whose comments and behavior suggest they don't trust me or my profession. She needs to go elsewhere. I have lots of clients who have been unsure of the process and needed reassurance, but none who have given me the impression that because their doctor said so, I might be a scammer. Obviously she needs to find a modality her doctor will be satisfied with.

She can read or not read what I send her and she can come back when she's sure she wants to heal and stop smoking regardless what anybody says...or not!













This would be my take.
I too have to be careful I do not wish to heal my clients more than they do.

I have learned a lot from this thread, many thanks to all who shared.

Karena.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by William Bullock on February 6, 2010 at 4:41am

To Kathleen, I'd be doubling my rates to that client right now.
To Grace, sounds to me that "specialist" was a master hypnotist, just at giving negative suggestions.
Please excuse my levity.
Also, and this is particularly useful with smokers, when someone mentions the "urge" to have a smoke, particularly if they have stopped for a few days, suggest to them it is no longer an urge, because the drug is out of their system, simply an idea. If they let go of the idea and think about why they wanted to stop, pretty soon the negative idea will fade away.

Kathleen Hanover said:

I'm going to back Bruce up on this. You can't help every client, Grace, and you're not responsible for her doctor's willful ignorance. That's all on him. Do not allow this client's health and life to become more important to you than it is to her. You will never, ever win with that one.

You can't help everyone in the world (so don't try). Pick the "low-hanging fruit," the prospects who want to change, believe they can change, have the motivation to change, and have the money to pay you to change. That's the definition of a "qualified prospect." Instead of finding new low-hanging-fruit clients, you've spent hours on Hypnothoughts getting advice on how to deal with someone who you probably can't help. Other, motivated people are not benefiting from your work because you're throwing your pearls before swine.

I'm facing a similar dilemma in my marketing and PR work. I've had a client for over a year who consistently doubts my expertise, knowledge, experience, price structure, etc., etc. This client pays me less than every other client I have, and is constantly trying to add time-consuming new elements to jobs without paying for them. The client is extremely demanding. A couple of days ago, the client sent me an email telling me they got a lead on a new gig because when you do a Google search on that profession in that city, the client comes up #1 in search results. The client basically said they were astonished I made that happen. I've been telling the client for months that's what I was going to do, and the cilent admitted that they never ever believed me when I said it! It was a compliment wrapped around an insult, kinda.

And here's the kicker, even after the email praising me to high heaven, in the very next email the client went right back to questioning everything I say.

Gaaahhh! I need to take my own advice. :)

Kathleen Hanover
"The Pretty Goodest Public Relations, 
Copywriting & Marketing Lady on the Planet"

Bruce Taylor C.Ht said:

In my opinion you can do a couple different things.

One is not work with her and move on to someone that would be motivated for change. You want to work with individuals that give the best oportunity for success. A client's expectation can cause their failure which can and probably will reflect on your reputation because they will tell others of their experience. Most of my clients are from word of mouth. I do not think that clients that have failed in their attempt will help find me more clients. Sometimes when you let your client know this and decide not to work with them until they are ready builds rapport and in time helps with their expectation which in turn helps their success.

The second is to work with the doctor in helping him to see that hypnosis can be a benefit. Give him and his staff a free demonstration. Careful to not hurt his ego as he has spent many years in his studies to become a doctor. This can help if that doctor would be possibly working with your many of your customer base and can help or hurt your progress. Doctors that are on board can be a great source for clients. Doctors can also if they understand because of their position effect their clients by what they tell them. One of the ways to influence the mind is from soemone in an athorative position giving advice.

The above is just my opinion and as you will have many I hope you find your direction. Happy hypnosis and let us know what happens.

Bruce Taylor

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Grace Joubarne on February 6, 2010 at 5:16am

Hello Brian,
I agree with you on just about everything as a good way to handle a willing client. From the time she first called to the time I had sent her the 6 articles to read, I had tried upteen times to keep her focused on the benefits of being a non-smoker as she went into surgery, just as you said. I explained the benefits to her that would start as early as within 24 hours, how this is about her healing herself, setting herself free, etc. etc. Most of my questions directed at keeping her focused on the positive benefits of doing this for herself received a shrug.

Sometimes it's easier to see things in retrospect .... I honestly believe that she was looking for a way out of having to end her smoking habit. Her doctor gave her one and she was milking it for all it was worth at my expense. She claimed she had tried many times to stop smoking, but as she said herself 'her heart was not really into it'.

Another little twist on this story: I did up a package of studies, etc as Scott suggested and went to mail it to her specialist yesterday. He is not associated with any hospital/clinic here in Ottawa! Can't locate his contact information at all! Yes, I could contact her Family Physician and get more info, but my gut-feeling is that there is more to this woman then meets the eye and I just don't want to waste anymore time. I could have worked with two pro-bono clients at the local distress centre in the time I wasted trying to 'persuade' her.

I had an uneasy feeling about this lady from the beginning ...if I may be perfectly truthful. And I guess part of me just doesn't feel I should try to convince an adult 6-7 times to do something positive for themselves against their will. Doctors don't try 6-7 times to convince their patients to change their lifestyle and I don't think I should either. As I see it, my job is to put clients who come to me with a genuine and committed willingness to change, at ease about the process and facilitate their self-healing. I'm a conduit for desired change, not a miracle worker.

Thank you for your insight Brian,
Grace :)

Brian Halliday said:

Grace

With the greatest of respect your opening line "sent her 6 easy-to-read articles and suggested that if she still felt skeptical then I would refund her money" is stacking things against you rigt from the start. First of "if you still feel skeptical" is a command to feel skeptical...and "I will give you your money back" is reinforcement for being Skeptical. sending her off to read articles after this to try and "persuade" her is also setting up a challenge.

If someone came to me I would assume they are genuinely wanting to stop or they need to prove to a worried partner hypnosis doesn't work because they don't really want to stop. They are being nagged.

So rather than try and prove hypnosis works or not I would focus on all the reasons why she MUST stop.

What would happen if you don't stop? And if that happened who would it affect. How many times have you tried to stop? and how come you haven't managed? How do you feel about the operation? What has your doctor told you about the importance of stoping smoking?

Now if you do this correctly then she will be focused on her problem not whether hypnosis will work for her or not. She will also be experiencing some emotional pain. If she then tells you what her doctor says it easy to continue like

" well the thing is its not really whether hypnosis works or not its about stopping you smoking and getting you ready for this op and thats what I am more concerned about in the last two years we have worked with x amount of clients with xyz stoping them smoking and I can tell you for sure if you are serious we can help you BUT IT IS YOU THAT MUST STOP but we can help you. And if for some reason YOU can't stop we will give you your money back". I would also be upfront and say it doesn't work for everybody but thatis the same as any treatment even from your doctor. However if by chance you don't STOP COMPLETELY and FEEL BETTER ABOUT GOING INTO SURGERY we will give you your money back. I would also explain the importance of relaxation and reduced stress and the healing processes after her op. I wouldn't focus just on the smoking but the whole episode she is about to embark upon. Notice the above commands as opposed to yours. plus there is no challenge. If you also get the refferal you can take the challenge away from the doctor.

Never get into a challenge situation never look over anxious to get the business put the onus on her. Also start collecting as many testimonials from clients as you can get showing solid results. For get about articles. testimonials are far more effective.

But also contact their doctor as described in the previous post..You may be surprised at their responses. If you massage their egos and are not a threat. You will also standout from all the other therapists he talks badly of! In his eyes you will becoming over as professional and someone he can trust. Plus if you get the results with his patient he will know about it. And if they don't other doctors will. But don't rule this out till you have tried at least 6 or 7 times. I think you will be surprised.

Grace Joubarne said:

Hi Brian,
it was no-goer from the start.

I sent her 6 easy-to-read articles and suggested that if she still felt skeptical then I would refund her money. She wrote and said she read a couple of them and would like the partial refund. I feel relieved, actually. I feel I made the right decisions and took the right approach.

If I had gone ahead without at least asking for her doctor's referral and something had gone wrong with the surgery, I would have been blamed...for sure a doctor with that kind of attitude would have found every opportunity to make hypnotherapy look bad. I had her write a note on her consent form that she had asked him for a referral but he refused because he felt hypnosis was a scam...so I could cover myself.

If I had continued to try to convince her, I would have been wasting my time because clearly she could have researched hypnosis herself and even when it was put on her plate she could not bother to read it through.

I had a sense from the moment she called that she might not be entirely into the stop smoking idea, but when I canvassed and explained that it only works if the client is truly willing, she insisted that it was her idea and desire, even if she 'enjoyed' a cigarette.

Ahhh, but doesn't the Serenity Prayer summarize it beautifully:
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.

I have the wisdom, I just need it to kick in faster LOL. It was a great learning experience.

Thank you all!
Grace:)

Brian Halliday said:

This situation may have been a no goer from the start. However the following may useful for those in the future.

the first thing to remember is that many Doctors will be threatened by any therapist outide the medical world. Their power base is determined by prescribing drugs. Simple hypnosis sessions can take away that need in some cases almost immediately. Doctors want to get patients into a "system" its how they make their living.

Also they have the advantage of social conditioning and authority society gives them.

Therefore instead of asking someone who is ready to go into pre-op sutuation to get a refferal - ask them for their doctors details so that YOU can contact their doctor for a refferal.

Write to the doctor explain that your client wishes to stop smoking because of an impending operation. And that you want to know if there are any medical reasons why they should not recieve deep relaxation therapy that will not only assist them stop smoking but help prepare them for surgery. Release a lot of fear tension etc. You can also attach any credible research around the benefits of relaxation or hypnosis and surgery if you have it.

By asking for his permission you are massaging his ego and giving him a place of importance. you are also working with him on the pre operation as a whole which is now a bigger deal.

You then go on to say you will keep him informed through reports to the progress made and would be happy to recieve any input from the Doctor.

Your chances of him agreeing to this will now be MUCH greater because you have shown him respect and wish to work with him to better your clients situation. You have also morphed some of his authority and credibility that society gives on to you making your job easier with the client. A lot of the work has now been done for you.

You then proceed and keep the doctor informed of the progress through regular reports etc.

Not only does this give you more chance to build relationships with doctors you give them real reasons to start referring his patients to you when you prove to get good results.

Brian

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Brian Halliday on February 6, 2010 at 6:07am

you were probably right sounds like she needed excuses to get out of stopping smoking. You should always go with your gut and you should never persuade or convince anyone. It is always a waste of time.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Jane Bregazzi on February 7, 2010 at 3:28am

Is she scared? She is very suggestible. She doesn't need inducing into any formal hypnosis. She needs to be scared of smoking. If she values her life, her family, her environment then just giving her an image of her family weeping and grieving at her grave, make it visual for her. Get her to close her eyes and put that image on the front of every cigarette box she sees. Don't even mention the fact that she is hypnotised or going to be, she already doubts that that can help.

Just hit her where her subconscious needs to be and that is more scared of smoking. She will give it up. Then she will go back to her doctor and tell him that hypnosis actually works.

Jane

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Jonathan Chase on February 7, 2010 at 3:38am

Why on earth would you want a referal slip?

The womans habits and her body is hers not a Doctors. Are you medically qualified or doing something medical? If not you don't need it.

And in some cases sure hypnotherapy is a rip off. So re drugs based medicine.

Give her a guarantee and only charge her if she stops. Then no one is ripping off anyone.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Brian Halliday on February 7, 2010 at 5:55am

A referal done right can lead to more refferals from a doctor. It can be a source of clients. If someone is on medication or is getting treated for depression etc then you should really get a "refferal" especially if they want to come off drugs.

The main reason though I would think is to try and get more refferals from a doctor.

A very experienced hypnotherapist who had worked in the UK and the states told me about.

I once "installed" this system in a goverment funded project for recovering drug addicts and alcoholics. No one believed it would work and that the doctors would just ignore it. Sure enough they responded exactly the way we wanted them too. And we also got further refferals from them.

It was then adopted with a number of other groups.

• ▶ Reply

▶ Reply to Discussion

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• Next ›
• Page