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Clients With Therapy Addiction…
Hi all. I’m still not a hypnotherapist who can say “wow, I have SO much experience”, at least not nearly as much as many of the people I've seen posting amazing things in here. I do believe I am quite resourceful, and I truly have passion for what I do which I guess it shows and makes a difference. The thing is, I realized a while ago that there are four different kinds of clients that come with a different set of attitudes that make a great difference on the time I spend working with them and the results I get:
- The businessman/woman: they want it now, pronto, done, what took you so long to get the result they want. If you do the job and have them satisfied, they’ll usually recommend your work to a thousand people at parties (haven’t had enough of those yet).
- The ol’psychotherapy client: they’ve been in therapy for too long and believe it should take ages to change anything (nothing new here). It’s usually a “wounded”, “oversensitive” person.
- The Madame/new-agey sort of client: they enjoy the process – it’s a hobby for them and they’re glad to pay for it, as you would pay for a movie or a night out or something (which should be way cheaper, in this country). New-age people are into astral-projection, karma and just DON’T WANT to finally get on with life because they see this as a way of living, and they’re searching for answers (and usually because some guru told them they should).
- The ‘green’ clients: housewives, couples, younger people and others who usually don’t know how I’ll work with them and are open to adapt to my way of working and to take things as they come. I usually spend a little more time with them than the hurried business people, but finally we have a nice, steady change and they get back to their routines.
Rarely do I find a businessperson who will overlap with one of the two other kinds, as they’re just too result oriented. A Madame (always a wealthy woman) or new-age person could easily have had years and years of treatment, etc with a therapist/ psychoanalyst/ reiki practitioner/ medium/ voodoo-healer /wiccan witch/ and the list goes on and on. In fact, the majority of clients who have this “eternal therapy” mindset have come to me conditioned by years in psychotherapy or other long-term system of treatment. A good number of them even say that while they’re doing hypnosis/NLP with me they’re seeing some healer or someone else (for apparently no reason at all but a need to talk things out and get the guidance of a father/mother figure, both things which I don't find neither fun nor useful for a quick & robust change).
I honestly usually like my clients very, very much as I truly do this out of passion, but I would rather have a good reputation as a man who gets great results than to have the same ol’loyal clientele over and over, such as a psychotherapist would.
I even started checking the strategy of a woman "covertly" to see if I could make her think about her life with NO psychotherapists, unneeded doctors, or whatever, but taking her own decisions and solving her own problems. Usually, when I give them the ‘won’t it be great when you get back to normal living and start walking with your own legs’ talk they either give me the blank look or get defensive, as if I was trying to get rid of them. I really like most of these folks and really enjoy working with them, but it starts to get frustrating when one realizes people cling to you not as a source of change and healing, but some place to go and solve every damn problem that come their way from having legal opinion on a court case to what dog they should buy.
Believe me, I like money at least as much as the next guy, but that’s not the point here. After a while IMO it gets tiresome to see the same person who doesn’t want to move on with their lives but who are there just for the fun of the whole thing, if you know what I mean (and I guess you do).
I know I will solve this by myself but that doesn’t stop me from being curious as to what effective measures you guys take on the matter at you own practices.
So, what are your thoughts on the matter?
Much Love & Lots of Success,
Rafael
- The businessman/woman: they want it now, pronto, done, what took you so long to get the result they want. If you do the job and have them satisfied, they’ll usually recommend your work to a thousand people at parties (haven’t had enough of those yet).
- The ol’psychotherapy client: they’ve been in therapy for too long and believe it should take ages to change anything (nothing new here). It’s usually a “wounded”, “oversensitive” person.
- The Madame/new-agey sort of client: they enjoy the process – it’s a hobby for them and they’re glad to pay for it, as you would pay for a movie or a night out or something (which should be way cheaper, in this country). New-age people are into astral-projection, karma and just DON’T WANT to finally get on with life because they see this as a way of living, and they’re searching for answers (and usually because some guru told them they should).
- The ‘green’ clients: housewives, couples, younger people and others who usually don’t know how I’ll work with them and are open to adapt to my way of working and to take things as they come. I usually spend a little more time with them than the hurried business people, but finally we have a nice, steady change and they get back to their routines.
Rarely do I find a businessperson who will overlap with one of the two other kinds, as they’re just too result oriented. A Madame (always a wealthy woman) or new-age person could easily have had years and years of treatment, etc with a therapist/ psychoanalyst/ reiki practitioner/ medium/ voodoo-healer /wiccan witch/ and the list goes on and on. In fact, the majority of clients who have this “eternal therapy” mindset have come to me conditioned by years in psychotherapy or other long-term system of treatment. A good number of them even say that while they’re doing hypnosis/NLP with me they’re seeing some healer or someone else (for apparently no reason at all but a need to talk things out and get the guidance of a father/mother figure, both things which I don't find neither fun nor useful for a quick & robust change).
I honestly usually like my clients very, very much as I truly do this out of passion, but I would rather have a good reputation as a man who gets great results than to have the same ol’loyal clientele over and over, such as a psychotherapist would.
I even started checking the strategy of a woman "covertly" to see if I could make her think about her life with NO psychotherapists, unneeded doctors, or whatever, but taking her own decisions and solving her own problems. Usually, when I give them the ‘won’t it be great when you get back to normal living and start walking with your own legs’ talk they either give me the blank look or get defensive, as if I was trying to get rid of them. I really like most of these folks and really enjoy working with them, but it starts to get frustrating when one realizes people cling to you not as a source of change and healing, but some place to go and solve every damn problem that come their way from having legal opinion on a court case to what dog they should buy.
Believe me, I like money at least as much as the next guy, but that’s not the point here. After a while IMO it gets tiresome to see the same person who doesn’t want to move on with their lives but who are there just for the fun of the whole thing, if you know what I mean (and I guess you do).
I know I will solve this by myself but that doesn’t stop me from being curious as to what effective measures you guys take on the matter at you own practices.
So, what are your thoughts on the matter?
Much Love & Lots of Success,
Rafael
Tags: addiction, alternative, clients, fun, psychoterapy, results, therapy, time
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kelley Woods on -
Adrian is right, Rafael...not all clients yearn for that "quick and robust" change. Just as it has taken me 51 years to achieve the level of life experience and knowledge I presently enjoy, I realize it will take another few decades to gain the wisdom I seek. Why not let those type of clients (and yourself) enjoy the journey?!
Best wishes,
Kelley
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Permalink Reply by Kathleen Hanover on
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Hi Rafa,
I'm a client, not a hypnotherapist, so I feel very qualified to comment. :)
I've been on a dedicated path of self-improvement for about 13 years now, and I'm currently working with a wonderful hypnotherapist, a great NLP practitioner, and a business coach, among others. And I truly enjoy all of it, and intend to keep working with these folks as long as they'll have me. Why? Because there are always new things to learn, new insights, new concepts, and new achievements.
As I let go of or resolve old issues, I become aware of other things I want to improve or work on. It's like layers of a never-ending onion. And as long as I'm alive, I'll never be "finished." So while I may not be a "therapy junkie," I'm definitely a "self-improvement junkie."
Plus, I'm sure I've built up a whole set of anchors around working with these coaches. I tend to feel really, really good around them. Naturally, I enjoy those feelings and I enjoy being around the people who inspire them.
If you truly believe that you're not longer helping someone, stop taking their money and encourage them to move on. But if the relationship remains positive and productive for both of you, why stop it?
Kathleen
"The Pretty Goodest Public Relations, Copywriting & Marketing Lady on the Planet"
Click @KathleenHanover to follow me on Twitter
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Permalink Reply by Vince C on -
Teach them self hypnosis. Becoming a guru is bad publicity for clinical hypnosis and vice versa.
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Permalink Reply by Robert Shanks on
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Rafael,
Am new here, so hope I'm not crossing any boundaries by offering how I see things.
I'd say that you just need to give them a truth. Not THE truth, because many people have different truths from others. A simple way of doing this would be something like:
"How long it takes is directly related to the problem you have, and how seriously you feel it impacting your life. Also, as hypnosis is dependant on your ability to use your mind, that has an impact on the speed of results."
This way, you have told the businessperson that they can resolve it immediately if they have the determination. They will see the solution in what you have presented to them. The psychotherapy 'addicts' will then decide just how serious they feel that their life is being affected. Some of them will want to 'feed their addiction', but I will often either refer them away, or sort their issue(s) and let them consider becoming New-Age types... The New-Agers will consider the 'impact' and 'ability' keywords and decide how much they want to involve themselves. You can allow them to become 'hypno-tourists' (a phrase I heard coined by the Brit, Jonathan Chase) and as long as they're aware, you're not taking advantage. The final group will take the phrase as a lesson in what is expected of them, and often end up gravitating towards one of the other groups.
Personally, I don't like to see a client too many times for the same thing. I have no problem with a client coming back for a different issue, but anyone who comes back more than 2-3 times (for a VERY difficult person) I would start to worry that they like me more than is appropriate! :-)
If a client comes to me for the 'hypno-tourism', then I would have to charge them the normal rate, but would ensure they know it for what it is. Just like Adrian said, they think they are benefitting, so you are not being a conman. Issues are resolved as fast as your client is capable, yet you are still there for those who like the feeling. Personally I love being in hypnosis, but find myself so analytical that I allow few people in.
Hope that helps
Robert
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