Consoling Advice followed with Hypnotic Suggestions for Stress Reduction.

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Permalink Reply by Roger Moore on November 20, 2009 at 1:13pm

Hi Doreen
If I am understanding this correctly, I would teach mom stress reduction techniques and I would have her look at the emotions that she is experiencing and any self-talk around those emotions. What is it that her son is mirroring back to her. That is her stuff, not his. She can't fix her son. Her son is not in your office, so your job is to get her to look at her stuff and do her healing work. The one thing she may have control over is her willingness to continue to pay tuition.

As a father of 4 and grandfather of 5 I know we want the best for our babies and it hurts so bad to see them struggle and miss opportunities and to not do it the way we think is best. My baby (who is 27) has driven me crazy at time doing the same things I did that did not work. My job is to love him and deal with my stuff.

I don't know if this helps - but I just realized this was therapeutic for me as I reflect on my two oldest granddaughters (one a senior and the other out of college).

Roger

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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on November 20, 2009 at 2:07pm

Thank you Roger, as always I value your advice, being a Mother my self, I know that we always want the best for our children, and yes it hurts when we see them struggling and missing opportunities, same goes for my 19 year old son, he is still worries me doing the same, and of course we know that, because some of us been there and done that...

And I agree that we must deal with our stuff and keep loving them unconditionally, even though it is hard thing to do at time, but I know, It is doable.

The reason I did post this discussion, because I wanted to hear others as well, since as a parent some do take this cases personally, and being a Mother myself, I believe like you, that the son is not who came to me for help, the Mother did, therefore my job is to help her in the best way I can.

Thanks for the advice, I will work on the stress reduction techniques and I would also have her look at her own emotions helping her with inspirations and affirmations as well.

Very interesting outlook "What is it that her son is mirroring back to her". and yes, I agree that it is her stuff.

Thank you so much, you just confirmed my direction, I will follow up with the out come and the results.

Respectfully, Doreen Cohanim C.Ht

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Permalink Reply by Kent Fullarton on November 20, 2009 at 3:35pm

Hi Doreen. Pretend your a south west redneck and give her advice. If the son is stress, kick the stress out of the house. Where does he get money if he doesn't do anything? Is she enabling her son to squander his life.

There is not a nice way to tell her to act like an adult.

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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on November 20, 2009 at 4:03pm

Thank you Kent the red neck lol...
Not sure where he is getting the money, I am assuming his parents... and I still have to find out more :)

Doreen Cohanim C.Ht

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Permalink Reply by Carol Sanders on November 20, 2009 at 4:33pm

Have you asked about drug and alcohol use, sounds a bit like marijuana smoker behavior.

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Permalink Reply by Carol Sanders on November 20, 2009 at 4:35pm

Clarificaiton, the son sounds like the pot smoker,,not the Momma. Momma can learn to detach from the outcome or the results of the sons behavior. This will GREATLY reduce her stress.

Carol Sanders said:

Have you asked about drug and alcohol use, sounds a bit like marijuana smoker behavior.

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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on November 20, 2009 at 4:43pm

Hi Carol,

This is what I suspect, but not sure the mother knows, in any event how can I help Momma to learn to detach herself from the outcome of her sons behavior?

It's seems that he does what ever he wants in their house and he invites friends and they spend all night long playing, watching movies and etc...

If it helps, the family is Indian.

Thanks Doreen Cohanim C.Ht

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