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Here's something to throw out there for the general public to mull over and respond to -
Let's say someone wants to experience being the other gender, say a man wants to know what it would feel like if he had been born female, but it's not like he wants to actually go through the whole process of transitioning into being a woman (HRT, SRS, etc) - what process would you take him through using hypnosis, and what impact would that have on the rest of his life? And I guess the most important thing is, if it's not a compulsion to transition the way a transgender individual would, what would lead to that sort of dichotomy?
I guess I'm looking for a more spiritual/metaphysical answer here - what manifestation of the universe would such a preoccupation represent in a person? :-)
Thanks for your input!
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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on April 22, 2011 at 8:35pm Hi Paul,
It's funny that no one responded to your post :) Lets start with the good news first, your client is Normal and in touch with his feminine side. Most man have this desire, trust me, it's always known and understood as the universal male need for intimacy, but kept in secrete. The root of the myth that male sexual desire for men is feminine and is a related myth .... But it does not mean that your client is gay like most straight will assume that, and I think if your client have the need to be in touch with his feminine side, help him explore that.. .
Ask questions, and build a report, find out as much information as you possibly can, and if he is there for explorer, I assume he will trust you enough to find out more.
Hope this helps!
Doreen Cohanim C.Ht, MM
Hi Paul,
Speaking hypothetically, there could be a number of reasons for the dichotomy. Could be exploration of feminine energy/side, due to repression, gender confusion, sibling rivalry, parents wanting a daughter rather than a son, spirit attachment. Does the client have a sister? (Edith Fiore - Unquiet Dead, wrote a great case study on a GP that she worked with. You might find that interesting read if you haven't already seen it.) Could also be past life imprint and a need to connect more with and channel their feminine energy in some way. I might ask the client's higher self about the issue and the best way forward. I might also speak with the part of the client that wants to explore their feminine side. My work is client led, so I would be interested to find out what exactly it is the client wants to experience in hypnosis and why, both consciously and unconsciously.
You could of course utilise direct suggestion and have the client experience being female. I'm curious, what impact do you think that would have.
Hopefully a little food for thought.
Kimberley Lovell SQHP, GHR
http://www.soulutionsholistictrainng.com
Permalink Reply by Graham Old on April 26, 2011 at 10:03pm Eric,
I don't think it would have much of an effect whatsoever.
As someone who has worked with a couple of people undergoing transgender reassignment, there is far more to that than the actual hormones or physical surgery. (In fact, most do not go through with the latter.)
Doreen, what evidence do you have for saying that most men have this desire? I don't know why you've brought up sexual desire, as I didn't see that as part of the original post. However, I would homosexual curiosity as near universal at some point for most men, but I don't think desire to be the opposite gender is.
I completely agree with Blair. This is simply play-acting when done hypnotically.
Permalink Reply by Kelley Woods on April 27, 2011 at 7:36am Hello Eric,
Some years ago, a gentleman approached me for a session to explore the reasons for his growing interest in cross-dressing. It was causing him distress, especially since he was keeping it secret from his wife and friends. During our work together, he was able to experience life through his perception of what being feminine entails. This person was not attracted to men, but had stated that he merely admired and loved women so much that he had a desire to feel like one.
I don't know if he had a "true" female perspective and in my mind, that's irrelevant. He felt that he did and it satisfied his curiosity in a wonderful way. Ultimately, hypnosis helped him mitigate the negative feelings he had about his behavior and move on to live his life in a genuine fashion.
If a client comes to me wishing for an experience of winning a marathon, composing a sonata, or being able to fly like a bird, I am happy to deliver. It doesn't matter to me if he doesn't have a clue about running, playing a piano or what a bird feels like. I trust his creative imagination to provide that! Never under-rate play acting.
Best wishes,
Kelley
Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on April 27, 2011 at 7:53am Hello Graham
I have worked with thousands and more clients, and based on that and doing my own study's that it in my opinion and based on the experience I have working with sexual confusion that most man have this desire, and I didn't say all man, I said most, since it known and understood as the universal male need for intimacy, which is kept behind doors, as a secrete, from the fear of being labeled wrongly.
Beside, I think man feeling this way are still perfect to feel that way, followed with wanting to feel feminine, most man have too much implications that stops them from allowing themselves to see and feel it, since this is part of their being who the are, and the rest is an illusion.
Doreen Cohanim C.Ht, MM
Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on April 27, 2011 at 8:01am By the way Eric, this is some questions that you can use to help you and your client to exposure If he is straight or that he needs help figuring out why he feels the need to experience being the other gender?
Have him answer these following questions, and if the answer is YES, then he may be experiencing gender identity issues:But it does not mean that he is a transgender and don't want to admit it, unless he is 100% wants to do a sex change, make sense?
Ask Him These Questions:
Do you have a persistent discomfort with your anatomic sex?
Do you feel as if you were born in the wrong body?
Do you have a strong desire to live or be treated as the other sex for the most of the such as in everyday and every minute?
Do you have a preoccupation with getting rid of your primary sex characteristics?
Do you feel anxious, depressed or confused over your gender identity?
Do you feel as if your thoughts and feelings are those of the opposite sex?
Are you 100% ready and wanting to do a sex change, that is if you knew for sure, that no one will judge you, and you have nothing to lose, would you have done it, or will you do it?
If you says yes to any of these questions, then a hypnotherapy can help him improve his quality of life as well as allowing him self to be who he is.
Looking forward to hear what you came up with?
Respectfully, Doreen Cohanim C.Ht, MM
Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on April 27, 2011 at 8:27am I am with Kelley --
I would allow his imagination to do its thing and suggest that he is now integrating this experience in a way that makes him feel more secure and confident in himself --
Michael E @ http://www/nycanxietyhypnosis.com
Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on April 27, 2011 at 8:40am HI Michael, I also agree with Kelly, but I don't see why it has anything to do with securing clients confident in himself, since the request was to experience being the other gender?
Unless you believe otherwise?
Respectfully, Doreen Cohanim C.Ht, MM
Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on April 27, 2011 at 9:15am Hello Doreen-
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar -- I was not suggesting that the imaginary client had any issue with his sexuality -- I just think it is a good idea to suggest that any hypnotic experience will help a client feel more confident and self-assured.
FYI-
There is nothing to suggests the hypothetical client needs to experience anything... We were simply told the client wants to have an imaginary experience -- We were also told that the imaginary client was not longing to change genders--
Permalink Reply by Graham Old on April 27, 2011 at 9:48am Thanks for your response, Doreen.
However, I would respectfully suggest that one cannot say 'most men' based on 'the experience I have working with sexual confusion'.
I don't particularly think that the male 'need' for intimacy is kept behind doors. As a man that's certainly not been my experience.
most man have too much implications that stops them from allowing themselves to see and feel it, since this is part of their being who the are, and the rest is an illusion.
Again with the 'most'? ;-) I don't really feel comfortable with the number of generalisations here. So most men don't see or feel what you think they should because they stop themselves? In that case, it seems to me that you have ended up with a position that cannot be refuted.
Incidentally, this has nothing to do with being perfect, or right or wrong.
Doreen Cohanim C.Ht said:
Hello Graham
I have worked with thousands and more clients, and based on that and doing my own study's that it in my opinion and based on the experience I have working with sexual confusion that most man have this desire, and I didn't say all man, I said most, since it known and understood as the universal male need for intimacy, which is kept behind doors, as a secrete, from the fear of being labeled wrongly.
Beside, I think man feeling this way are still perfect to feel that way, followed with wanting to feel feminine, most man have too much implications that stops them from allowing themselves to see and feel it, since this is part of their being who the are, and the rest is an illusion.
Permalink Reply by Graham Old on April 27, 2011 at 10:20am Hi Kelley,
That's a great way to put it. Thanks.
However, I personally would still not see this as giving him the experience of being the opposite gender. And if this was part of someone's decision-making process in, for example, a transgender reassignment consideration, I think it could potentially be misleading. (Just as someone shouldn't be fooled into thinking they actually have an experience of running a marathon under hypnosis as their way to decide if they can actually do it.)
Nevertheless, 'through his perception of what being feminine entails' is a helpful way to put it. But then we're into a whole of discussion on the difference between sex and gender.
Thanks for making me think.
Kelley Woods said:
Some years ago, a gentleman approached me for a session to explore the reasons for his growing interest in cross-dressing. It was causing him distress, especially since he was keeping it secret from his wife and friends. During our work together, he was able to experience life through his perception of what being feminine entails. This person was not attracted to men, but had stated that he merely admired and loved women so much that he had a desire to feel like one.
...Ultimately, hypnosis helped him mitigate the negative feelings he had about his behavior and move on to live his life in a genuine fashion.
If a client comes to me wishing for an experience of winning a marathon, composing a sonata, or being able to fly like a bird, I am happy to deliver. It doesn't matter to me if he doesn't have a clue about running, playing a piano or what a bird feels like. I trust his creative imagination to provide that! Never under-rate play acting.
Best wishes,
Kelley
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