Female Hypnotists - ARE there gender differences?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Mark Tyrrell on June 25, 2009 at 12:39am

Hi Gloria

Lol I think this may be one of those topics people rather shy away from (p c and all that). Having observed hundreds of men and women trainee hypnotherapists over a ten year period during sessions with the public I think (in general!! :) there are some differences.

Typical stuff like women being more empathetic (which can be helpful but also unhelpful if they get too sucked into content at the expense of seeing the bigger patterns) Men may be more naturally inclined to focus on solving problems sometimes at the expense of listening or building rapport suffering from PSM (premature solution mode)

The very best therapists I have observed have combined rigor, with creative flair, empathy with structure and intuition with logic. Good training should encourage people to blend any typical gender differences and encourage people to work on their weak areas. People who combine more typically masculine and feminine approaches tend to be top notch therapists in my view.

All the best

Mark

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Permalink Reply by Neil on June 25, 2009 at 1:33am

Good Day,

Genderism and roles have been created and sustained by bullies.

I know plenty of 'bitches', and I don't want to know any of them.
They are just the fellas, though.

A male 'bitch' aint a bitch. He's just a strong, mature guy with purpose and attitude of success.

I know a female 'bitch' on this site.
To me, it aint got nothin to do with girl/boy, it's just being a 'bitch'.

When a person categorises any one as this or that, it just lets me know where 'they' are coming from, and sometimes they're right.

Sometimes, it is the only way we can have a quick point put across: "Oh, she was bitchy... etc."
Ultimately, I believe, words are just words. I also believe people are people and we should love those who are willing to accept the goodness others have to offer.

I would much rather have a male hypnotist who was understanding, than a female who was not.
And, I would much rather have a female hypnotist who was understanding, than a male who was not.

Putting up with the *hit that bullies put their victims through is vile.
Female hypnotists seem to be more able to come through the other end because of learning from their experience.
Men don't seem to learn as easily though. Most men just do not relate enough.

I believe no-one should have to go through bullies' tactics, but that's the way the world is.

Boiling down to the essentials, girls are neither better nor worse than boys in this industry.
They just have to put up with more *ick-heads than the majority.

I am certain there is less concern in the client's minds about male/female hypnotists than in hypnotits' minds.

Any body going into an industry or situation with full knowledge of the possibility of bias, is going to act a bit differently than an other who doesn't.
Sounds obvious, but how many out there are willing to help in that situation, and how help can they help?


Love and respect Neil.

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Permalink Reply by Susan French on June 25, 2009 at 6:49am

Hi Mark,

Thank you so much for that insight. You are so brave...lol. I've studied a lot about gender differences: brain differences, the effect of hormone differences on behavior as well as brain development and so on. I think it's one of the most fascinating subjects in the world.

I love the story (a true one) about a little girl in a preschool that wanted activities and toys to be gender neutral. She was given a truck to play with and when the teacher went to find her a bit later, she was discovered rocking in a little rocking chair, cradling her little trucky and cooing to it.

I think there is so, so much to be learned by observing gender differences just as there is so much to be learned from identical twin studies. I think these areas of research are providing us with a lot of information for the nature/nurture discussions.

When I began to really realize that men and women are truly different (besides plumbing) I was able to find much more peace in my world.

Thanks again. I love what you bring to our community.

Susan

Mark Tyrrell said:

Hi Gloria
Lol I think this may be one of those topics people rather shy away from (p c and all that). Having observed hundreds of men and women trainee hypnotherapists over a ten year period during sessions with the public I think (in general!! :) there are some differences.
Typical stuff like women being more empathetic (which can be helpful but also unhelpful if they get too sucked into content at the expense of seeing the bigger patterns) Men may be more naturally inclined to focus on solving problems sometimes at the expense of listening or building rapport suffering from PSM (premature solution mode)

The very best therapists I have observed have combined rigor, with creative flair, empathy with structure and intuition with logic. Good training should encourage people to blend any typical gender differences and encourage people to work on their weak areas. People who combine more typically masculine and feminine approaches tend to be top notch therapists in my view.

All the best

Mark

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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on June 25, 2009 at 11:57am

Hello Neil :)

I truly enjoy reading your post, you are honest, funny and sweet... that is coming from the real B*** the good B*** :)

Genderism and roles have been created and sustained by bullies. I agree...
Millions of youth in the United States are involved in some aspects of bullying behavior. Increasing rates of youth violence, including horrific violent school events, have brought national attention upon the phenomenon. Bullying is a broad construct that covers a wide variety of behaviors from name calling to physical abuse, and it is associated with serious negative health outcomes. Sexual bullying appears to be antecedent to more severe forms of relationship violence, and it is proposed as a conceptual link between bullying and more advanced forms of sexualized violence, such as teen dating violence and adult forms of intimate partner violence. © 2008 Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, Inc.

Doreen Cohanim C.Ht

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Permalink Reply by Gloria Constantas on June 26, 2009 at 1:56pm

Thanks everybody for getting this discussion off to a good start!

I have heard before that females are usually more sensitive and empathetic. I say usually, because I don't want to generalize any characteristics to ALL women.

But tell me, do you think women hypnotists use more permissive suggestions and men more authoritative? Or are there other differences in style?

P.S. I just told a client of mine that "bi***" means an assertive woman and next time one of her friends or relatives calls her a bi***, she should say thank you. She really liked that.

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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on June 26, 2009 at 3:48pm

Hi Gloria,

I think regardless to male or female hypnotist, each and individual have their own personality attached to it, nothing to do with gender, just my opinion.

I also think the meaning behind B*** is what get people into reacting, either if it is negative or positive, for me the meaning of B*** is Power, Assertiveness, Strong Minded Person, Confident, a person that is not easily affected by peoples personal opinion, and that is me....

Respectfully, Doreen Cohanim C.Ht
www.HypnoCruise.com

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Permalink Reply by Susan French on June 26, 2009 at 4:22pm

That's a good question on the face of it, Conrad, but aren't you curious about biologically driven gender differences? It's just interesting as long as we all remember that all of the concepts are general and every behavioral trait is on a contiuum.

Susan

Conrad Cook said:

Why is this question so important to you?

C.

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Permalink Reply by Pattie Freeman CH.t, MST on June 26, 2009 at 4:28pm

Gloria,

Being a female Hypnotist I find there is a difference like we have to prove we know that we are great at what we do..referring to stage hypnosis as a therapist I find men are more comfortable with a female and many females feel better with a woman hypnotherapist.

When it comes to the entertainment side of hypnosis many find that a woman doing hypnosis is so different and that men is what they picture.

So there is a difference on stage..doing sessions I see we have a advantage over men....

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Permalink Reply by Pattie Freeman CH.t, MST on June 26, 2009 at 4:31pm

Forgot to finish sorry,,.,
But this just makes me stronger and more confident knowing I can do the same and even better..just makes me more committed to the profession...I love what I do and it shows in my work...

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Permalink Reply by Susan French on June 26, 2009 at 6:23pm

Conrad,

Are you asking Gloria why it's important to her or are you asking what difference it would make to a potential client (i.e., why they might want to know)?

In general (and I mean TOTALLY general), I have found male therapists often to be as Mark suggested: more oriented to solving the problem and women to more oriented towards empathizing as a means of getting to the core of a problem.

I find that male therapists are often so busy analyzing they forget to listen and be in rapport. If they analyze from their intellect, they often miss the point, because they're not listening well enough.

As Mark also said, women can become too enmeshed and too 'familiar,' thereby losing objectivity.

Perhaps Mark could tell us if he thinks that men are often better for men and women for women???

Susan



Conrad Cook said:

That's a good question on the face of it, Conrad, but aren't you curious about biologically driven gender differences? It's just interesting as long as we all remember that all of the concepts are general and every behavioral trait is on a continuum.

You're talking about not pigeon-holing ourselves or others; and that's an important and good point. I'd say, amongst the ladies who replied to this thread, it would be difficult for me to find a common behavioral or attitudinal element. I doubt that when you go into hypnotist mode you suddenly become similar. Maybe a computer could find something, though.

So that's a good point, and I agree with you about not pigeon-holing.

But what I'm asking is, why is it important to you? What's at stake?


Conrad.

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Permalink Reply by Mark Tyrrell on June 27, 2009 at 1:56am

Hi Susan

Women and men are different GENERALLY which, in my opinion makes for a more interesting world. I think the taboo that this is not the case has diminished partly through recent scientific work (much done by women like Deborah Tannen).

Typical differences (if I’m going to be even braver) include more interconnectivity between the two sides of the brain in women (hence all the multi-tasking) and more ‘straight line thinking, compartmentalisation in men (hence, possibly, more guiltless affairs but also less depression)-compartmentalizing bad stuff in your head means you can be depressed about something but not globally depressed.
I think people have taken "different" to mean "worse" or "better" whereas, of course different can, and should, mean complimentary.

"Perhaps Mark could tell us if he thinks that men are often better for men and women for women???"

I guess some women and men would prefer to see women (or men) depending on their own associations and personal histories. If it is something straightforward like smoking cessation or a phobia it might matter less to the client than if it a sexual issue (unless you're a Freudian in which case everything is a sexual issue : )
But I still think the most effective, approachable, and creative therapists will blend all that is best about more typically female and male approaches and aptitudes.

All this talk of bullying is curious. Women bully women, men bully men, women bully men and men bully women. Bullying unfortunately transcends gender but is an effective tag with which to stamp on useful discussion of possible gender differences-a bullying tactic no less.

All the best

Mark






Susan French said:

Conrad,

Are you asking Gloria why it's important to her or are you asking what difference it would make to a potential client (i.e., why they might want to know)?

In general (and I mean TOTALLY general), I have found male therapists often to be as Mark suggested: more oriented to solving the problem and women to more oriented towards empathizing as a means of getting to the core of a problem.

I find that male therapists are often so busy analyzing they forget to listen and be in rapport. If they analyze from their intellect, they often miss the point, because they're not listening well enough.

As Mark also said, women can become too enmeshed and too 'familiar,' thereby losing objectivity.

Perhaps Mark could tell us if he thinks that men are often better for men and women for women???

Susan



Conrad Cook said:

That's a good question on the face of it, Conrad, but aren't you curious about biologically driven gender differences? It's just interesting as long as we all remember that all of the concepts are general and every behavioral trait is on a continuum.

You're talking about not pigeon-holing ourselves or others; and that's an important and good point. I'd say, amongst the ladies who replied to this thread, it would be difficult for me to find a common behavioral or attitudinal element. I doubt that when you go into hypnotist mode you suddenly become similar. Maybe a computer could find something, though.

So that's a good point, and I agree with you about not pigeon-holing.

But what I'm asking is, why is it important to you? What's at stake?


Conrad.

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Permalink Reply by Gloria Constantas on June 27, 2009 at 5:44am

WHY is it important to me? My first thought is that it's important because I am a female hypnotist!

But I did examine my deeper motives and what I am really interested in, is the way female hypnotists are perceived. Do I get the same the respect as male hypnotists when I tell someone what I do? Am I perceived as an expert in human behavior, or as a silly little girl? Am I more like to be challenged or insulted by someone saying, oh that stuff is nonsense? Am I more likely to be criticized for my beliefs or opinions? Am I more likely to be criticized for my appearance and fashion sense?

I think Deborah Tannen may touch upon some of these in her books.

I am wondering what my respected colleagues here, at hypnothoughts have experienced. Maybe some hypnotists have a partner of the opposite sex, and I wonder who gets more clients to come in, and who gets requested to actually do the sessions...?

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