Female Hypnotists - ARE there gender differences?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Susan French on June 27, 2009 at 6:24am

Hi Mark,

Thank you for being brave and thank you for the additional brain information. I'm a bit of neuroscience junkie. I find nothing quite as satisfying as linking up what I know about hypnosis with what is actually happening in the brain.

I take your point about remembering that differences don't mean better or worse, they only means "not the same." It's such a wonderful point.

I also appreciate your comment about bullying. You are so very right about bullying coming from people of all sexes, sexual orientations, sizes, shapes, ages, cultures and skin colors.

On the various threads that talked about "bullying," (including this one) I think it's easy to miss the point that bullying takes so many different forms, from words to deeds to body language and can be so nuanced as to be almost undiscernable.

When I speak of bullying, I'm usually coming from the much broader position of including intent: conscious, unconscious, and sometimes not even intended but having that effect.

The Esquimo have 200 words for snow and we have one word for love. If I remember correctly, the migrant boat people of Indonesia have no word for goodbye. Perhaps we need more words...lol.

On a final note, I got up really crabby one morning, read something here about something and wrote the inflammatory and regretted post about how I would never go to a male therapist. No sooner had I hit send, I was in remorse and immediately posted an apology.

In actuality, I've had some bad experiences with male therapists but I've also been very disappointed with female therapists. I know of one really wonderful male therapist. This fellow is psychiatrist who (amazingly for these days) also does actually psychotherapy. I refer my clients to him who are struggled with drug addiction. the reality of having to take pain medication for chronic pain, or whom I think might need medication from a really good MD.

I have two really good female psychotherapists to whom I refer when a problem is beyond my scope and I had some psychotherapy with a female psychologist and biofeedback specialist who is now deceased who was wonderful.

On the other hand, aren't these fields (except for psychiatry) dominated by women???

Aaah well, as Mark pointed out: Viv(e?) Le Difference. Since my musings are only that, reasoning by small sample, I realize that on an individual basis, it's best to find out the therapist's preferred theories, techniques, ideas, and orientations and then, do what I always do anyway, go by how the connection feels.

Susan



Mark Tyrrell said:

Hi Susan

Women and men are different GENERALLY which, in my opinion makes for a more interesting world. I think the taboo that this is not the case has diminished partly through recent scientific work (much done by women like Deborah Tannen).

Typical differences (if I’m going to be even braver) include more interconnectivity between the two sides of the brain in women (hence all the multi-tasking) and more ‘straight line thinking, compartmentalisation in men (hence, possibly, more guiltless affairs but also less depression)-compartmentalizing bad stuff in your head means you can be depressed about something but not globally depressed.
I think people have taken "different" to mean "worse" or "better" whereas, of course different can, and should, mean complimentary.

"Perhaps Mark could tell us if he thinks that men are often better for men and women for women???"

I guess some women and men would prefer to see women (or men) depending on their own associations and personal histories. If it is something straightforward like smoking cessation or a phobia it might matter less to the client than if it a sexual issue (unless you're a Freudian in which case everything is a sexual issue : )
But I still think the most effective, approachable, and creative therapists will blend all that is best about more typically female and male approaches and aptitudes.

All this talk of bullying is curious. Women bully women, men bully men, women bully men and men bully women. Bullying unfortunately transcends gender but is an effective tag with which to stamp on useful discussion of possible gender differences-a bullying tactic no less.

All the best

Mark






Susan French said:

Conrad,

Are you asking Gloria why it's important to her or are you asking what difference it would make to a potential client (i.e., why they might want to know)?

In general (and I mean TOTALLY general), I have found male therapists often to be as Mark suggested: more oriented to solving the problem and women to more oriented towards empathizing as a means of getting to the core of a problem.

I find that male therapists are often so busy analyzing they forget to listen and be in rapport. If they analyze from their intellect, they often miss the point, because they're not listening well enough.

As Mark also said, women can become too enmeshed and too 'familiar,' thereby losing objectivity.

Perhaps Mark could tell us if he thinks that men are often better for men and women for women???

Susan



Conrad Cook said:

That's a good question on the face of it, Conrad, but aren't you curious about biologically driven gender differences? It's just interesting as long as we all remember that all of the concepts are general and every behavioral trait is on a continuum.

You're talking about not pigeon-holing ourselves or others; and that's an important and good point. I'd say, amongst the ladies who replied to this thread, it would be difficult for me to find a common behavioral or attitudinal element. I doubt that when you go into hypnotist mode you suddenly become similar. Maybe a computer could find something, though.

So that's a good point, and I agree with you about not pigeon-holing.

But what I'm asking is, why is it important to you? What's at stake?


Conrad.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Gloria Constantas on June 27, 2009 at 9:02am

As a woman I don't have to look very far to find "fuel."

But I'm wondering why you are challenging my motives...maybe because I am a female and as such probably have an ulterior motive?

And I'm also wondering why YOU are interested in this topic?

Conrad Cook said:

So -- have I understood right? -- a certain portion of your thought process is devoted to worrying about whether you're being treated fairly, in particular for being a woman, and you're looking for fuel for that process.


Conrad.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Susan French on June 28, 2009 at 9:32am

Hi Gloria,

I'm not so sure that what you think you're picking up has as much to do with male vs female as it does with the continuing disregard or dismissal of the value of hypnosis itself. While this has been changing a lot in recent time, it's still there. It think it's more the nose-in-the-air snooty attitude towards hypnosis than it does male vs female.

Susan

Gloria Constantas said:

WHY is it important to me? My first thought is that it's important because I am a female hypnotist!

But I did examine my deeper motives and what I am really interested in, is the way female hypnotists are perceived. Do I get the same the respect as male hypnotists when I tell someone what I do? Am I perceived as an expert in human behavior, or as a silly little girl? Am I more like to be challenged or insulted by someone saying, oh that stuff is nonsense? Am I more likely to be criticized for my beliefs or opinions? Am I more likely to be criticized for my appearance and fashion sense?

I think Deborah Tannen may touch upon some of these in her books.

I am wondering what my respected colleagues here, at hypnothoughts have experienced. Maybe some hypnotists have a partner of the opposite sex, and I wonder who gets more clients to come in, and who gets requested to actually do the sessions...?

• ▶ Reply

▶ Reply to Discussion

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page