Good Communication

Good Communication

To share ideas on "good communication" requires good communication about what the word "good" means to this group, and what "communication" means. As I was a graduate student in the field of communication theory, and have spent all my life in applied communications in teaching, consulting, and sales, perhaps I can share a bit of what I've learned.

Hypnosis is a particular type of communication, focused in technique and intent, so it has its own technical culture, with concepts and forms shared and used by practitioners, with or without the understanding of their clients. Because of that, the concepts of communication theory that seem most relevant to me for hypnosis practitioners to consider carefully are:
1) The necessity for defining your personal ethics. For example, "Goodness" for some practitioners could devolve to the emptiness of the sophists of old, who knew all the forms of argumentation, and could teach the forms, but who lacked the rigor of knowledge gained through Socratic research and argumentation. Do you really know your client, or are you assuming that the forms and techniques you are using are appropriate and applicable universally?
2) Communication doesn't happen without words, but the meaning and impact of words varies widely for the practitioner and the client, depending on the pools of experience associated with those words. If you want to be effective as a hypnotist, you have to remember that even though you speak the same language as your client, your experience with your vocabulary is different than your client’s. If suggestion is to have the impact you intend, you must tap their experience with their vocabulary, not yours.
3) You cannot communicate effectively without feedback. The channel may be verbal, and you both might know the same word, but to achieve a consensus of understanding about what is being said, they have to tell you in their words what they feel those words mean to them.
4) Suggestion is a form of persuasion. The structure of a speech to persuade follows this rough outline. There is an introduction, a presentation of a need or problem, a suggestion of a solution, an outline of how the solution will be implemented, then a visualization of how the solution will benefit the person. The conclusion "buttons up" the speech with a review of the strongest points of the need, the suggestion of the solution, a reminder of the strongest vision of the benefits, and then a call to action with specific steps. This is very basic. You might remember this structure when considering your scripts. But, this is very basic. The last point I have found is perhaps the most powerful element in applied persuasion.
5) If they don't trust you, your suggestions will fall on deaf ears. I have over 30 years experience in sales. I can tell you that 2 sales people can use exactly the same words, but have very different results. Why is that? The reason is words are not the only aspect to communication. Before I open my mouth for the first time, these potential clients have received layers of communication designed to build trust. Here are the basics for building trust from my experience.
a) People trust who their friends trust. If their friend told them you were a good person to see, they already have an assumption of trust. Their experience with you after that either confirms or diminishes that trust. If they are expecting professionalism from you because of the referral, but they receive a shoddy confirmation letter, with typos, and an amateurish look to the printing, the trust meter just went down. However, if they receive a clean, crisp, professional letter, with a clear instructions, a map, and an agenda for your first meeting, the trust meter will stay steady, or go up slightly.
b) People trust who they see on a screen. If you have a shoddy, unprofessional website...or none at all, their trust meter will go down. but, if you have a professional website, with a good picture, the meter will go up. If you have a friendly, professional introduction video of yourself on your website, the trust factor will go up even more.
c) People trust someone who has a professional office. Someone will decide in 10 seconds if they trust you or not based on how your office looks. If your office is in a professional office park, you have a waiting room with professional decor, and your inner office is neat, has appropriate lighting, a seating arrangement that doesn't make them feel they are trapped, and you have appropriate credentials on the wall, and humanizing details, like fresh flowers, they will sigh with relief that their assumption of trust was not unfounded that they derived from their friend, from your confirmation letter, from your website, and your office location and waiting room decor implied.
d) People will care about what you say only after they are sure you care about who they are. Is parking an issue? Did you warn them ahead of time? Do you have tissues in view? Did you ask them if they saw where the restrooms were located, and have you provided water? And have you paid attention to how they were when they walked in, and responded to that appropriately. Do they look happy, sad, hurried and out of breath, were they late, or do they look angry or anxious? Before you get down to business, you better take their emotional temperature and neutralize any immediate needs that you can address, and help them put aside the outside issues they brought with them by addressing them and appropriately commenting about them. If you give them a chance to say..."I'm late, and I feel angry with myself, because I got lost"...it can give you a chance to tell them you care, empathize, and affirm them for trying hard and caring about being on time.
e) Once they know you care about them, they need to know you care about what you do. I hate going to the dentist, but my dentist inspires confidence. I want to be a good patient because I know he's takes what he does seriously. When he speaks about his diagnosis and plans for me, he’s excited and pleased to help me.
In conclusion, "good communication" is essential to effective hypnosis. Good communication requires:
1) Personal ethics that keep you within consistent boundaries
2) Consensus through client feedback about the words you use with clients
3) Structure that follows a persuasive model
4) Development and confirmation of trust through:
a) Pre-meeting professional contact through a confirmation letter
b) a professional website that gives another "witness" that you are trustworthy, other than the referror
c) a professional office
d) attention to personal needs
e) recognition of presenting emotional state
f) professional energy from you that communicates that you are positive you can help them because you have the experience, know-how, and desire to help them.


Thanks for listening,

Bren