Help with Clild client please

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Permalink Reply by Jason Keen on July 22, 2009 at 1:40pm

Hi Wendy,

I'm a student so I don't have working experience with children. But I am currently in a hypnosis for children course, so I'm particularly interested in this subject right now.

What do you know about the family dynamic? Have you explored the possibility that there might be something deeper going on?

At 11 years old, I wonder how effective metaphors and stories are. I bet they are very powerful, especially in trance. I will ask my instructor about this next time we meet for class. It seems to me like a provocative story about a young athlete who has mastered diet and athletics as two pillars of happiness and success would be quite effective. Connecting the behavior of eating foods that really fuel her body with top performance in her activities - and the resulting FUN would be important.

Something I have gotten out of the class so far is the importance of having the clear understanding that the child is your client, and you are working to help the child edify their own internal guidance. Then, defining and establishing the desired outcome in as vivid and complete a manner as possible is key (visualization, mental rehearsal, etc). But, if there is something else going on - rebellion against her parents, for instance, that needs to be addressed first. My instructor has also suggested an "Instant Alert Hypnosis" versus a deeper trance as being the way to go with kids. This would solve the problem of her falling asleep.

These are just some thoughts, I eagerly await some answers from those with experience!

Jason

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Permalink Reply by John Cleesattel on July 22, 2009 at 3:02pm

Wendy,
The first thing to realize is that hypnosis will not "make" anyone do anything. It does not take away free will. It sound like this is what the mother is expecting to happen. "Make my daughter a mindless zombie so she will obey..."

You would do well to just clue them in on "V8" vegetable juice and vitamin pills, and get back to helping people.

John

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Permalink Reply by Fable Goodman on July 22, 2009 at 3:11pm

Hello Wendy,

The question that occurs to me, is has the girl approached you and asked for hypnotherapy? Has she actually said, I want to sort this issue out?

Forgive me if I have got it wrong, but it sounds from your post, that the parents have made this decision for the child, and if that is the case, then personally I would not have accepted the client. I can imagine the mother dragging the child along saying "you are going to see this hypnotist, and she will jolly well make you eat fruit!"

If this is the case, then I think the therapy is doomed to failure.

Personally whenever a parent rings asking me to help their child, I always ask: " has the child decided they want hypnotherapy for this, and asked you to ring for them?" invariably the answer is no. In which case I would explain that I am only willing to work with clients who actively choose to work with me. I suggest they discuss it with the child and then allow the child to make thier own decision. Usually the child hasn't even got a clue what is being planned behind their back. I feel this is an abuse of parental rights.
I would susect falling asleep would be a good strategy to avoid accepting suggestions.

Now if the child has thought about it, (even if at he suggestion of the parents) and decided to give hypnosis a go, then that is a different story. Children of that age, usually respond very well to hypnosis in general, and imaginative techniques in particular, including metaphors/stories. Dont make them childish stories though, (save them for the grown ups) remember at 11 she is proabably in or aproaching puberty, and should be treated as a young woman.

Love and hugs,


Fable

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Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on July 22, 2009 at 6:04pm

Hi,

I am guessing your young lady wants help and now it's a matter of giving her a reason to believe that you/hypnosis can help her actually enjoy eating fruits and veggies --

You have gotten some practical advice so far--
I agree Mom must understand:
A) The young lady must want to be helped
B) Hypnosis assists in making changes and does not force change
C) It will probably take a 4 to six sessions, but they will see rapid improvements--

You might tell her and mom that hypnosis can help her fool her taste buds - so that fruits and veggies actually taste and feel like her fav foods -- If she is agreeable to that idea ... You can guide her into a light trance-- anchor her fav foods - then have her imagine a lemon, slicing a lemon and tasting a slice of the lemon (make sucking sounds- suggesting she experience the sour/tart taste and when she does:) tell hypnosis and her imagination just fooled her taste buds just to demonstrate that she can fool her taste buds -- Now have her select one fruit and one veggie that she would like to start enjoying-- Now - Focus on the benefits and advantages of eating that fruit and veggie -- and anchor them to how she feels about eating her fav foods with the suggestion - She will be amazed and delighted to discover that she really, really enjoys eating X and Y- Blah, blah, blah...

Keep it lighthearted and have fun!

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Permalink Reply by Mary Austin-Harris on July 23, 2009 at 4:10am

Dearest Wendy,

Pardon me for giving my two cents especially if you've already found your solution. I've read all the previous posts and I absolutely agree that the child has to want the therapy however, for the sake of this post, I'll assume you have her cooperation and pledge that she wants help. If so, my take would be to make sure that nothing deeper is going on before proceeding. I'm specifically referring to past life intrusion. Take her back to be certain that there is no memory of eating tainted foods that caused this aversion.
Blessings, Mary

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Permalink Reply by Donna Carter on July 23, 2009 at 8:07am

Assuming the child wants the change...

You can help her 'buy into' the idea of eating veggies and fruits by asking her
about her goals and educating her about energy levels on a high fruit/veggie diet
vs. how the bodies energy on a low fruit/veggie diet is going to the job of getting
rid of toxins (through many outlets including acne) leaving the body already
tired...when it comes time for sports..

Also, when you say "they have tried everything they can think of" - is that in their words?
If so... 'everything' is one of those words again...that really needs to be defined.
Really, everything? Letting them know that there is ALWAYS going to be...something
they can try that they have not tried yet.
It isn't a dead end.
It's not even a fork in the road...
It's a yard rake... and each of those tines has another yard rake on it. (as if looking in
a mirror of continuous yard rakes...forever) So, when one thing doesn’t work…
we have options. Lots of options. It is just the process of looking for those options.

Once you have her realizing how a high fruit/veggie diet could really make her feel
good, not only mentally alert…but physically she would excel, you can then let her
know that it doesn’t have to be hard. She can start out with that smoothie idea.
In hypnosis… let her know that ½ cup of apple juice eliminates all taste of Kale
(Kale…which is a super food of green vitamins…why not start with it? Haha).
Knowing…that apple juice DOES cut green taste in vegetables…but really hitting
it home by saying it in hypnosis.

Then…give her the smoothie recipe: One ripe banana, 4 or 5 frozen strawberries, 8 oz
of orange juice, ½ cup of apple juice and two leaves of washed Kale. Blend.

Later…she can start adding more veggies and explore how easy it is.
Which, will help her to realize she likes veggies, which will then help her to want to
explore salads (plain), then salads (with added veggies), etc. It’s a growing process.

It would help if the parents didn’t stock the house with crud.
Kids are about…”what can I eat: NOW.”
If there isn’t the option of running to the cupboard to get chips…
And yet there are cut carrots, broccoli, celery (with or without dip) …or Almonds,
cashews, dried mango (without sulfur) or dates, available…
These things start looking real good because they are the handy.

Ideas:
1.)
Her homework – research (internet/library…whatever parent allows) how good veggies are for
Kids, and look at it as if she is going to come back and educate ME. Show me 2 things I can use
to help other children. “Pretend I don’t know how awesome you will feel eating healthy…
why should I tell kids your age… to eat healthy?”

2.)
Make a weekly veggie/fruit chart. Have the child place a sticker on each vegetable or fruit eaten.
Making it a game…and if she covers all of them – she could get a prize. (anything that is
reinforced is likely to occur again!). It doesn’t matter if she drinks them (blended) or eats them.
Also… it is good to note – if this one is used, many children want to try putting ALL ingredients
in a blender, although that can seem costly…I highly recommend letting it happen. Exploring
with foods without getting into trouble (for wasting a couple of batches) is a healthy way to let a child
gain knowledge.

~grin~
V8 juice…is not an option.
It is missing some key goodness: nutritious enzymes and vitamins that are killed during processing.
And they added some key crap: Salt (and a good deal of it to keep you addicted) and Flavorings (excitotoxins).
Uh….ewwww…..

~D.


John Cleesattel said:

BR>You would do well to just clue them in on "V8" vegetable juice and vitamin pills, and get back to helping people.

John

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Wendy on July 28, 2009 at 12:58pm

THank you to everyone for all your wonderful ideas and suggestions. Very helpful. YEs the young lady does want to try Hypnosis, it was actually her idea from having previously seen how much it has helped her mother in the past. If she wasn't willing i wouldn't have taken her on. Have already suggested supplements (not from the shops, have much better ones that can't be bought from the shops...but that's a different topic for later...) yes will certainly look for secondary gain deeper. Wanted her mother to sit in on the sessions as client is a minor. Would any of you still see client on her own? Mother allows her space and freedom to talk and is not controlling but point taken about private sessions. Feel I am helping her john and have suggested supplements already and haveing been in the profession I am highly away client has to want changes to happen. I would not dream of merely suggesting vitamines as my only suggestion for them, it may seem a small thing to others but what is more important that health, especially for a very promising athelete. Will re read all suggestions and let you know how I get on incase this is of use to anyone in the future. Many thanks again to all of you for your helpful comments

Wendy
Donna Rodolph said:

Assuming the child wants the change...

You can help her 'buy into' the idea of eating veggies and fruits by asking her
about her goals and educating her about energy levels on a high fruit/veggie diet
vs. how the bodies energy on a low fruit/veggie diet is going to the job of getting
rid of toxins (through many outlets including acne) leaving the body already
tired...when it comes time for sports..

Also, when you say "they have tried everything they can think of" - is that in their words?
If so... 'everything' is one of those words again...that really needs to be defined.
Really, everything? Letting them know that there is ALWAYS going to be...something
they can try that they have not tried yet.
It isn't a dead end.
It's not even a fork in the road...
It's a yard rake... and each of those tines has another yard rake on it. (as if looking in
a mirror of continuous yard rakes...forever) So, when one thing doesn’t work…
we have options. Lots of options. It is just the process of looking for those options.

Once you have her realizing how a high fruit/veggie diet could really make her feel
good, not only mentally alert…but physically she would excel, you can then let her
know that it doesn’t have to be hard. She can start out with that smoothie idea.
In hypnosis… let her know that ½ cup of apple juice eliminates all taste of Kale
(Kale…which is a super food of green vitamins…why not start with it? Haha).
Knowing…that apple juice DOES cut green taste in vegetables…but really hitting
it home by saying it in hypnosis.

Then…give her the smoothie recipe: One ripe banana, 4 or 5 frozen strawberries, 8 oz
of orange juice, ½ cup of apple juice and two leaves of washed Kale. Blend.

Later…she can start adding more veggies and explore how easy it is.
Which, will help her to realize she likes veggies, which will then help her to want to
explore salads (plain), then salads (with added veggies), etc. It’s a growing process.

It would help if the parents didn’t stock the house with crud.
Kids are about…”what can I eat: NOW.”
If there isn’t the option of running to the cupboard to get chips…
And yet there are cut carrots, broccoli, celery (with or without dip) …or Almonds,
cashews, dried mango (without sulfur) or dates, available…
These things start looking real good because they are the handy.

Ideas:
1.)
Her homework – research (internet/library…whatever parent allows) how good veggies are for
Kids, and look at it as if she is going to come back and educate ME. Show me 2 things I can use
to help other children. “Pretend I don’t know how awesome you will feel eating healthy…
why should I tell kids your age… to eat healthy?”

2.)
Make a weekly veggie/fruit chart. Have the child place a sticker on each vegetable or fruit eaten.
Making it a game…and if she covers all of them – she could get a prize. (anything that is
reinforced is likely to occur again!). It doesn’t matter if she drinks them (blended) or eats them.
Also… it is good to note – if this one is used, many children want to try putting ALL ingredients
in a blender, although that can seem costly…I highly recommend letting it happen. Exploring
with foods without getting into trouble (for wasting a couple of batches) is a healthy way to let a child
gain knowledge.

~grin~
V8 juice…is not an option.
It is missing some key goodness: nutritious enzymes and vitamins that are killed during processing.
And they added some key crap: Salt (and a good deal of it to keep you addicted) and Flavorings (excitotoxins).
Uh….ewwww…..

~D.


John Cleesattel said:

BR>You would do well to just clue them in on "V8" vegetable juice and vitamin pills, and get back to helping people.

John

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by John Cleesattel on July 28, 2009 at 5:32pm

Wendy,

I did not mean to imply you are anything other than an experienced professional. From the information given, the situation appeared as a much different case than the child being the one who wanted the session:

Mother is sitting in on sessions of course and issue is just simply for her daughter to start eating vruit and veg. At the moment she's not eating any. They've tried everything to get her eating any of it but se won't.

The situation now being made more clear, I would suggest you ask the child for her opinion of what would be the best solution, then facilitate that for her. I hope that helps you.

John

Wendy said:
Feel I am helping her john and have suggested supplements already and haveing been in the profession I am highly away client has to want changes to happen. I would not dream of merely suggesting vitamines as my only suggestion for them, it may seem a small thing to others but what is more important that health, especially for a very promising athelete.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Fiona McKeand on October 3, 2009 at 9:38pm

Hello,

The above is really useful advice. I have a similar case, but not quite sure what to do as there are some differences. My sister's boys (age 9 and 10) hate vegetables and I believe my sister when she says she has tried everything (though point taken about the garden rake, Donna!).

The issue, really, is that I live in Hong Kong and my sister lives in the UK, so I am having to do this session recorded on to a CD for them to listen to. I know this is much less than ideal and I wish it were otherwise, but she asked for my help and I know she can't afford hypnotherapy, or I would advise visiting a therapist in her area. I have made it clear to her that, unless the boys want to eat veg, then there is not likely to be much progress, but I have asked her not to tell the boys that it won't work. I also don't know the boys enough to discuss it with them - they are not the most communicative (in fact the youngest was diagnosed with mild autism, and my sister suspects it is actually the oldest who is autistic) - in fact they frequently don't reply when you speak to them. From experience, I know that emails to them go unanswered.

There is also the possibility that they are rebelling; my sister and her husband separated when the oldest was 4 and they routinely divide their week between her house, his house and mother-in-law's house. This is bound to have created issues and I asked as delicately as I could if there may be a reason they were refusing to eat veg, ie to reclaim some kind of control in their lives, but she side-stepped this (a bit of a clue, perhaps??) and we do not have a close relationship so she is extremely unlikely to open up to me. By email, this discussion is not ideal, I know, but as I say, I really would like to offer some kind of help. I also - from a purely selfish point of view - could do with the practice as I am working on the practice hours log of my hypnotherapy course and this would be good experience. However - and this is important - if it is likely to be counter-productive or damaging in any way, then I am obviously prepared to walk away from it and suggest she see someone else who will charge her but is nearby.

Now, I may see them once at Christmas and so can possibly do a face-face session with them then. However, I would like to help them and her in the meantime. Because I have been living abroad since they were born, I don't know them well, but I emailed some questions to my sister. One wants to be a film director and the other some kind of scientist, they both like adventure stories and Dr Who-type sci-fi. I wondered if it might be effective (as effective as anything, under the circumstances) to use a guided fantasy of travelling to a magical/sci-fi land where their hero figures are seen eating veg and developing super-powers as a result; use suggestions that film directors need really good vision to do good work and carrots are necessary for this; scientists need food that powers the brain etc. Get them to watch their heros develop even greater powers after eating different vegetables, and then step in to the heroes and see the world through their eyes, experience themselves eating the veg then performing incredible feats etc. Perhaps a metaphor about a space ship and a crew that were filling it with the wrong kind of fuel and it kept limping about, malfunctioning, occasionally crashing until they put in the right fuel (would you be specific here and mention green leafy things, or trust that the subconscious knows what you are talking about?) and then it soars, flies straight into space, lands on the right planet, everyone accomplishes the mission etc etc.

Apologies if this all sounds a bit naive, I'm a bit green (no pun intended) and just starting out.

Thanks a lot,
Fiona

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Permalink Reply by Beryl Comar on October 4, 2009 at 5:35am

Hi wendy
I do a lot of work with kids (I am an ex school principle and lucky enough that parents trust me alone with the kids) I tell them honestly what mum wants (watch for the body/face language!) and then ask what they want - at 11 I guess she's interested in boys! Would she like, in the future to have healthy sporty boyfriends?) well, would you want to go for dinner with them? You want to appear smart, sophisticated (who wouldn't?) What would you eat at the dinner? What would they eat? Would you look smart eating junk food? Would you look smart eating greens, tomatoes, etc etc Would you like me to help you with that? And then maybe mum will let you go on those dates too?
Now, what's stopping you eating greens and other veggies?
So long as the goal is hers you will then do hypnotherapy to find out what has been said/done to make veggies not very cool for her.

Good luck

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Permalink Reply by Kelley Woods on October 4, 2009 at 8:11am

Hello Wendy,

I worked with a very similar case as this; a young man who would only eat dairy products! He would rather sit at the table for hours than consume broccoli. He subsisted on macaroni and cheese and milk and was underweight, with asthma and a constant "phlegmy" throat.

I decided to use some mental art imagery for this child and employed his imagination building a puzzle of sorts. (He had already relayed that he loved working small, dexterous games and puzzles). The various pieces were made of the different "parts" of himself: son, brother, athlete, student, citizen of the world, hero, etc. Each piece was colored (he chose the shapes and sizes) and of course, they ultimately all fit together to make one amazing figure. I embedded language that related the bright colors of his pieces and the positive traits of his self to the bright and positive colors and traits of fruits and vegetables. He easily accepted an association between his own pieces and the visual cues of the healthy foods.
Along the way, (we used this process in a couple of sessions), a bit of work was done defining and balancing the feel of his different puzzle parts. His mother was present and she was able to use some of the language later to reinforce the new relationships during his normal daily life.
The last report I received was that this boy no longer was resisting eating a balanced diet, except for the dreaded broccoli, that is! Coincidentally (or is it?!) his asthma has subsided so that he is off medication and his throat is clear.

Best wishes, Kelley

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Permalink Reply by Pattie Freeman CH.t, MST on October 5, 2009 at 6:40pm

You need to hypnotise the child thinking that the food they are eating is fruits-veggies and they like it..when I work with children I use something like a trinket that has them focus on that so they can easily go under faster.. The child will respond and let them take that object home as a security for them to refocus if needesd...hope this helps!

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