I Love My Therapist

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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on November 23, 2008 at 1:17pm

Thanks Conrad,

Interesting way of seeing it, as to your girlfriend, I think it is much different, since it is not a client therapist relationship to begin with...

Thanks Doreen

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Permalink Reply by Don L. Price on November 23, 2008 at 1:24pm

Hi Doreen,

It’s easy to dismiss the role that emotions play in the cold hard reality of modern in our hypnosis life, and even in our personal lives many feel that focusing too much on “feelings” gives people an excuse to behave irrationally.

But the coldest, hardest truth is that, like it or not, emotions play a major role in every area of our lives—for all of us—and wishing it wasn’t so accomplishes nothing.

So that brings me to one your questions... Should you worry if your client develops feelings for you?

And I have a somewhat simple answer... As a hypnotherapist or other therapist in general; it's our responsibility to follow a code of personal and profession ethics. That is to help solve problems and not create more.

If we sense that a client or patient is having sexual fancies or romantic feeling about us; we then have to look at us and how we are working with that client... and then make correction in us... If you refer them out you're not dealing with the problem... only the symptom

It very similar as to when a hypnotherapist takes a client through regression and then opens up catastrophic events taking the client into depression, addition fear and new issues to work on... You the hypnotherapist has to clean it up... and now.
It’s not simple but it can be handled on your part with emotional effectiveness.

I have experienced clients looking to me as their outlet for sexual and romantic satisfaction… and each time I go right back and begin to work on the problem… They are paying me good money to help them and not escape from the issues… all hypnotherapists must learn to hold themselves and their clients accountable for their behavior…

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Permalink Reply by Robert Aurbach on November 23, 2008 at 1:25pm

It seems to me that there are two ways to look at this. One, the classic view, is that the client has issues that he or she brings to the table, and that the therapist merely is the occasion for them coming out. The other is that the therapist, through marketing, delivery or message choice inadvertently encourages the reaction from the client. This is much more insidious, because it forces us to look hard at who we are in the world and who we are while sitting next to the recliner.
Doreen, I never replied to the cougar or cub message.... I was intrigued but really didn't know where you were going with it. I did notice, when I was looking at the message and reply that you wanted to be known as Hypno Vixen - at least to that particular responder. I like to play too - a lot. And I can certainly see you going there. But, then it seems like I have to ask (and acknowledge a major mea culpa myself) if turning off the play is something you can do when dealing with clients who are likely to fall for you.
Please don't take this as preaching or disapproving...I'm right there with you - and I really don't think I've got an answer as to how to maintain rapport, while not engaging that part of my personality that might unintentionally encourage transference. So right now what I do is market to a different client population, so as to avoid the issue altogether - not the best choice, especially if this is your primary income, but it's the only one that I have come up with so far...
Now, since I see that you're still doing the cougar/cub thing, what is a cougar man? I certainly don't see myself as a cub...
Bob Aurbach

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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on November 23, 2008 at 2:15pm

Hello Don,

As a hypnotherapist I believe in separating myself from my client therapist relationship by being honest and clear with my messages, It always worked well for me, and when I see a client, I make sure they know that I am the therapist and not their buddy, it gives me the authority to separate between me and my clients, so far it is great, but I know people who take advantage of their therapeutic knowledge and power to be involved with their client...
that is why i believe that it is our responsibility to follow a code of personal and profession ethics, like you said, That is to help solve problems and not create more.

The reason I brought up this discussion is simply because I am having a client who is asking for my help, and he/she is caught in this trap with his/her psychotherapist... ( I have to protect my client here )

so The discussion is great and lets also help me to help my client in dealing with it in the best way, after all I am an emotional type with suggestibility aspect and I want to help my client in the best way without having my personal opinion on it.

Thanks Doreen

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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on November 23, 2008 at 2:30pm

Dear Robert,

Thank you for your response, I love it when people in general jump into conclusion or assumption when a question is asked.
And that is why I am not taking anything ever as preaching or disapproving, as far as I am concern this is how you want to see me, and that's OK, but it doesn't mean you know me well...

Pr judging can at times put a block in our ability to help others... I see everyone equally, and that is why I attract all type of clients, since I don't judge and I don't discourage my clients to be who they are, I teach them to be who they are and feel good in their own skin... I also provide them with tools and information, only after we have an understanding, and only then, I help my client by reinforcing the positive suggestions to help them in achieving their ultimate goal.

Again three people who see the same accident can report different testimonial, since they all saw the truth, only each saw it from their own eye glasses, one see it through a blue eye glasses, one through a green eye glasses and the other one through a clear eye glasses, so my job as a therapist is to gather the information and complete the real picture with everyone's testimonial, and for me that is the real rapport.

Now as to the hypnotic Vixen, I would love to discuss that with you on my group related to this subject, and to be honest I encourage you to ask your cougar question on the group and Dr. Fayr will be more then happy to answer you, since I am more into having fun and not really expert when it comes to the Cougar & Cubs world, I am like you exploring :)

Respectfully, Doreenin

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Permalink Reply by Robert Aurbach on November 23, 2008 at 4:59pm

Dear Doreen
Not jumping to conclusions at all, nor do I imagine that I know you. There are a couple obvious possibilities; I raised the one less frequently discussed, based on the Law of Attraction. As with all such discussions, you're welcome to discard my observation, for whatever reasons.
Bob

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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on November 23, 2008 at 5:30pm

I am having fun and I hope you too, we here to explore and to share our opinions, as you see it is easy to assume lol.

Have a bless day.

Doreen

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Permalink Reply by Donna Carter on November 23, 2008 at 5:39pm

I don't think a hypnotherapist or other therapist can give one answer - that meets all needs.
I am of the opinion - it depends.
Depends on the client as well as the therapist.

It seems that when talking about 'transference' many people immediately jump to all the negative aspects of this issue. There are positives to it - in my opinion.
For example: in some instances it could be a good thing - to love your therapist.
What if the transference is a motivator to the client to try their best? Moving that client forward at a rapid pace because of the need to impress/make happy the therapist? (obviously the client could be projecting their own thoughts as the therapists thoughts)
I am not saying that every client would handle this sort of situation in a constructive way - but I know that some could and would benefit from it.

~~D.

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Permalink Reply by Stephen Strube on November 23, 2008 at 6:55pm

Hey Doreen,

Is there a joke about narcissism and self-hypnosis somewhere in here?
Couldn't resist...

Stephen

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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on November 23, 2008 at 7:03pm

I don't think so, where do you see it?
I mean where do you see the joke about narcissism and self-hypnosis?
I am lost... please help me understand why do you see it? or you are influenced by my articles? lol

Doreen

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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on November 23, 2008 at 7:05pm

Hi Donna,

I do agree with you that 'transference' have two side to it, and in many cases it actually was helpful as a motivator.

Thanks Doreen

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Permalink Reply by Robert Willhite on November 23, 2008 at 10:31pm

We all know the legalities, and the ethics of secondary relationships with clients, and about the possibility of transference. I think however that when we are dealing with clients in such an intimate and open way, that transference is normal and possibly necessary for therapeutic work. We become the safe canvas upon which our clients can project their issues, whether it is love, hate, anger etc. It is up to us to maintain our neutrality, and not participate in this projection, merely to note it, and work with it.

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