I'm not a Slave to other's opinions or to Fashion Any More!

With the permission of my client, I'd like to share a positive outcome for a wonderful young client who just wanted to fit in in high school and her goals diminished to the point of settling to hoping to have one friend in her life. 

Tani's mother called me a few month's ago. "My daughter is stealing my credit card and is running up huge bills, she's out of control and I need her to grow up and stop spending money we do not have. She believed she can not wear the same clothing to school and has to have a new wardrobe all of the time! I'm unemployed and my X husband rarely pays us the money due to me through the court order of our divorce agreement."

Recently coming out of a divorce the mother confided in me that her daughter has moved from a very exclusive, private school to  a public school and ended up as a lonely outsider in her new school.

"Tani's only goal in life is to have a friend, a friend she can share her life. She is very lonely and she is failing out of school again. And she's skipping school. I can't take it any more. She was burnt by a group of very cruel, cold girls and she believe's she's not good enough to have a friend now.  

I agreed to meet with the mother and Tani. Mom showed up in Jean's, modestly dressed. To say the least, Tani showed up dressed as if she was going to a night club, a little over the top. I had requested, for Guided Imagery/ Trance work that she should wear comfy, loose fitting clothing for the session.

With mom, we discussed their history. Tani was in an esteemed Private school in a very wealthy zip code. She described the girls at the school as catty, klicky and " To be part of their groups, to go to their party's the other girls would criticise Tani's clothing and lack of Jewelery, you had to dress their way and never, ever wear the same thing twice. They were the popular girls." Tani chimed in.

"I so wanted to be friends with them. And when I showed up at their party's they would talk behind my back and wouldn't talk to me. I felt like the ugly duckling. Yet, all of the popular boys would be at the party's and eat lunch with them.  I wanted to be there to! "

When I heard that I remembered a Wayne Dyer CD that I thought was perfect for this case. Our intake, with her mom was complete. Her mom left, Tani agreed to give "Trance a try". I told Tani that that we could meet again, and to come back in modest, comfy, more appropriate clothing, clothing that was comfy.

Tani and her mom came back to my studio. I always have parents in my facility when I'm working with children. Tani is 15 and I believed having her mom in the next room would help Tani feel safe and trusting and help her relax and hopefully create the change she believed she truly wanted.

I was impressed that she followed up on the "homework assignment" that I asked her to complete which was researching Guided Imagery/ Self Hypnosis. I had given her a hand out on how to learn new stress reducing skills. And Tani followed my request and wore more comfy, appropriate clothing, so we had some rapore and she followed through.

Pre trance, we reviewed our initial meeting, and we discussed her motivation. She recognised that her new school mates were more modest, wore jeans and dress was less of an issue there.

We worked in trance for approx 25 minutes. I gave Tani a "Protective Shield" Blanket, to both keep her warm and keep her safe and cosy. We discussed the past, and we agreed that,

                                         "The Past does not equal the future."

We regressed back to her private school, I had her hover above the negative conversation's she felt victim to and we reframed it and she "Forgave their snotty ignorance" and she let go of all the stress it has caused her to try and fitt in. And we went back to the shopping mall, relived the fact that "I stole mom's credit card not to hurt mom, just to get new close and be accepted by the  group." She felt the pain she had caused her mom. She cried and said, "I really hurt my mom, I wish I had never done that!"

Post trance, I brought her mom in my studio and on my Ipod I played Wayne Dyers "Duck Thinking" Chapter. We than discussed "Duck Thinking vs Eagles thinking. We affirmed that "Eagles have to be brave, they have to take risk, they have to leave their nest to get food for their Eglets, they have to soar around the tree's, Eagles must fly! Ducks just squat around the lake and don't do anything other than quack and quack some more. 

I felt that we had made some progress when Tani asked her mom to forgive her stealing her credit card, they hugged it out and were on their way.

Yesterday, in the mail, I received a great letter from Tani and her mom.

"She now see's herself as a Eagle and she talk's about soaring in school. And she's relaxed and doing very well in class so far. And she's found some friend's, found them well studying in the library! She's back to wearing jean's and we actually went to Good Will and the Salvation Army to get her some more appropriate clothing for her  "I'm equal mom and I'm not a slave to fashion anymore!"

The results from a good intake, from good trance work and reflection and forgiveness can truly create very positive change. It was a pleasure to be of help to Tani and her mother.

Scott Cooper