Keep it professional and courteous

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Permalink Reply by Leshem Yosef on January 19, 2010 at 9:36am

I'm 1001% with you
feel the same
Full support

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Permalink Reply by Roy Hunter on January 19, 2010 at 10:03am

Perhaps a better choice of words would have been "state a difference of opinion" rather than debate. I have some trusted friends with high integrity in this profession who have different opinions than I do, but they get results. The metaphor is that there is more than one way to go from New York to Los Angeles; but reaching the destination successfully is more important than the journey we choose.

Roy Hunter

Ian Jay said:

I agree. Avoid the diatribe and ad hominum. Feel free to attack any argument with passion, but direct it to the words, not the person.

Not sure about your choice of the word 'debate', Roy. This surely indicates an argument (contest) won by skillful rhetoric, rather than reason, logic, and 'truth'? ;-)

Ian

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Permalink Reply by Scott Sandland on January 19, 2010 at 10:18am

Thanks Roy-

Members of this site do an overwhelmingly good job of keeping things civil and professional, though sometimes someone can get carried away or forget themselves. This is a great reminder to people what makes this site so valuable. People post here more than other sites because they feel safe to do so.

Let's keep things constructive and productive on here. Personal attacks aren't either of those things, and are a distraction from what you come here to share. I just gave this advice in a different discussion, but I think it's a good rule of thumb for interacting with peers and getting better at anything:

Study hard, stay humble, and be patient. Learn from people who disagree with each other, listen to people who disagree with you, and keep looking for opportunities to practice and get feedback. Have fun learning and find ways to help people. Ask lots of questions and respect other people's models and priorities, especially when they differ from your own.

Have fun, and keep the gloves up,
Scott

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Permalink Reply by David Lynn on January 19, 2010 at 10:59am

Well said.

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Permalink Reply by Kelley Woods on January 19, 2010 at 11:39am

Thank you for the reminder, Roy. It would be sad to lose members' participation due to lack of restraint and courtesy. My grandmother told me to respect another person's flag, religion and bread. Well, our practice hypnosis is the "religion" of lots of us, so we can keep that in mind!

Best wishes,

Kelley

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Permalink Reply by CindyLou on January 19, 2010 at 11:56am

I agree Roy. Any who engage in offense or defense are still playing the game. It takes two to play, remember. Personally, when I read these arguments, mostly I pay attention to the players and mentally note that I'd rather not follow either of them, nor would I recommend them to others. If they can't be civil on this forum where one must think and type out a response, who knows what's going to "set them off" in real life. I'd rather learn from those whom I respect and who can handle themselves in an appropriate manner. My 2 cents worth.
Cindy

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Permalink Reply by James Hazlerig on January 19, 2010 at 12:27pm

Excellent reminder, Roy. Hypnothoughts is special in part because the members avoid (for the most part) ad hominem attacks, and we respect even those with whom we disagree.

James

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Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on January 19, 2010 at 12:35pm

Sound advice Roy-

Thanks for the reminder.

Michael E.

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Permalink Reply by Hugh Cole on January 19, 2010 at 12:38pm

It is a sign of an educated mind that one can entertain a thought without accepting it.


Hugh Cole
The Pretty Goodest Hypnotist on the Planet

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Permalink Reply by Dennis Atkinson on January 19, 2010 at 2:07pm

I could not agree more Roy. I have ready many of them recently, and cringed at what was being said back and forth.

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Permalink Reply by Roy Hunter on January 19, 2010 at 5:10pm

Hi Scott,

While you do make a good point, some people hide put-downs with humor...as though it is OK to criticize someone and/or embarrass that person by making it seem funny. Any joke at the expense of someone else (whether financially, emotionally or professionally) is not good spirited humor. Please remember this is a professional forum, so I suggest that we make it obvious when we are using humor, especially if responding to a posting, or if someone's name is mentioned.

When we criticize a person, it becomes a slippery slope. I've posted on several hypnosis newsgroups for well over a decade, and have seen too many "trolls" ruin it for others.

For example, you would not believe how mean spirited the "alt.hypnosis" newsgroup became a number of years back when only a few internet "trolls" drove most professionals away. On occasion comments such as "if you can't take it..." would appear whenever responding to such flames. It got to the point where a professional would lose whether or not he/she responded to the flaming criticism.

Public criticism puts the recipient in a no-win situation AND makes our profession look bad.

BTW, I would like to thank everyone who has responded to this discussion so far.

Best wishes,
Roy

Scott Brown said:

Ok Everyone,

Some board moderation has me bite my tongue a little more sometimes than I might prefer, but it still doesn't kill my desire to post if I feel strongly enough on something or sometimes silly enough.

Sometimes, I think people take things meant in good humour a little too seriously, taking offence rather than enjoying humour for what it's worth.

Same with debates. Sometimes people tend to make way more of an issue of something by simply misinterpreting the tone of someone's words and immediately taking offence, easy to do when you can't see or hear "tone" as you can in voice chat.

Maybe the boards could be a little more entertaining or conducive to discussions if people would loosen up a bit and some "they know who they are" stop being killjoys.

Warmest Regards

Scott

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Permalink Reply by Greg M on January 19, 2010 at 5:28pm

I add my thanks to the others here for the reminder to be civil.

I was on alt.hypnosis about 10 years ago, and it was just as Roy said. The flame posts began to take up about 70% of the content (or more, if you didn't filter it) The posters had long since abandoned all sense of humor, and it was no longer worth the time it took to even read the message titles. You could filter out the flamers, but the respondents, supposedly good, well-intentioned people, were flaming back, making it impossible to find anything worth reading. I gave up and haven't been back since.

Thanks to all here who make it so valuable and enjoyable.

Greg

Roy Hunter said:

For example, you would not believe how mean spirited the "alt.hypnosis" newsgroup became a number of years back when only a few internet "trolls" drove most professionals away. On occasion comments such as "if you can't take it..." would appear whenever responding to such flames. It got to the point where a professional would lose whether or not he/she responded to the flaming criticism.

Public criticism puts the recipient in a no-win situation AND makes our profession look bad.

BTW, I would like to thank everyone who has responded to this discussion so far.

Best wishes,
Roy

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