Keep it professional and courteous

Hello,

Recently I noticed some personal criticisms posted in discussion groups. Some comments have been downright rude, and could border on libel.

Regardless of whether we do or don’t approve of a technique someone else uses, it is only common courtesy to avoid imputing motives. Treat others with the same professionalism that you expect from those who might disagree with you.

Let’s remember that Scott has given our profession a great forum with Hypnothoughts. I urge all of you to debate the issue rather than attacking the person, and help make this a comfortable place for us to ask questions and debate techniques in a professional manner.

Roy Hunter, Ph.D., FAPHP
www.royhunter.com

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Permalink Reply by Jackie Spencer on January 23, 2010 at 3:42pm

"From the known you cannot possibly see the unknown; but when once you have understood the state of a mind that is free - which is the mind that says, "I don't know" and remains unknowing, and is therefore innocent - , from that state you can function, you can be a citizen, you can be married, or what you will. Then what you do has relevance, significance in life. But we remain in the field of the known, with all its conflicts, striving, disputes, agonies, and from that field we try to find that which is unknown; therefore we are not really seeking freedom. What we want is the continuation, the extension of the same old thing: the known." J. Krishnamurti

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Permalink Reply by Susan French on January 24, 2010 at 7:15am

Thank you Roy and amen. I've never been sure why so many others can't or don't see when a personal opinion becomes a personal attack. And have you talked to Fable? He's was given the task of moderating for things like that. He's excellent at seeing the "reasonable and fair" in people's statements. Perhaps those posts missed his eye. Could you point him in those directions?

I've come out of some of those wars so upset that I couldn't work and it has led me to fear posing questions and to fear giving opinions. I'm sad that Scott's original intention (held by most of us as well) that this be a safe and professional place to ask questions has been perverted even in the least little way.

Thank you (and all others who have expressed these concerns) for reminding us of Scott's original intention and to remind us all to pay attention to our own sharings. I have been guilty myself, when I get emotionally hijacked. It is always a learning experience for me but it sure never hurts to be reminded that we are adults and so-called professionals in the art of communication.

Susan
http://www.hypno4success.com

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Permalink Reply by Carol Sanders on January 24, 2010 at 11:04am

I might add to that Hugh and say,,,"without accepting it or discredititing it"...(sp)......life is about perception.... no one will ever perceive exactly as another one.......or "feel" exactly as another.....Carol

Hugh Cole said:

It is a sign of an educated mind that one can entertain a thought without accepting it.

Hugh Cole
The Pretty Goodest Hypnotist on the Planet

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Permalink Reply by Roy Hunter on January 24, 2010 at 9:55pm

Hi Sue,

Thank you for your response. As I mentioned earlier, I've witnessed the evacuation of many good professionals in other hypnosis groups over the years because of flames...in which case, everybody loses except the critics. The best response is to IGNORE their criticisms altogether; but I'll admit that sometimes it is difficult to do.

Roy

Susan French said:

Thank you Roy and amen. I've never been sure why so many others can't or don't see when a personal opinion becomes a personal attack. And have you talked to Fable? He's was given the task of moderating for things like that. He's excellent at seeing the "reasonable and fair" in people's statements. Perhaps those posts missed his eye. Could you point him in those directions?

I've come out of some of those wars so upset that I couldn't work and it has led me to fear posing questions and to fear giving opinions. I'm sad that Scott's original intention (held by most of us as well) that this be a safe and professional place to ask questions has been perverted even in the least little way.

Thank you (and all others who have expressed these concerns) for reminding us of Scott's original intention and to remind us all to pay attention to our own sharings. I have been guilty myself, when I get emotionally hijacked. It is always a learning experience for me but it sure never hurts to be reminded that we are adults and so-called professionals in the art of communication.

Susan
http://www.hypno4success.com

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Permalink Reply by Susan French on January 25, 2010 at 7:59am

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm proud of our responses to this reminder. Whenever we have this kind of discussion, I find that I learn so much more about each contributor (on a personal level) which I value.

I confess that I, too, can be easily sucked into one of those "pink cadillac" (aka: pissing or measuring contests) discussions and that I, too, am a passionate expresser. Sometimes I, too, forget in the heat of the moment that (I'm assuming) we all come here both to learn and to share.

I'm also reminded of a remark that was made in relation to a similar discussion and that was : "When did good manners go out style?"

Thank you again Roy for being a good leader here and thanks to everyone who shared a renewed commitment to being as "grown up" as is possible at any given human moment.

Susan

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Permalink Reply by Mansour Tamadon-Nejad on January 29, 2010 at 7:44pm

Hi Roy, Thank you for initiating this.I totally agree with you. We need to understand that all opinions are valuable and should be respected even those which do not coincide with ours. We may disagree but never be rude or discourteous. As professionals we need to show tolerance and humility. The world is in such sad situation because some people have forgotten that discussion is superior to confrontation. With regards to you all. Mansour

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Permalink Reply by Roy Hunter on January 29, 2010 at 9:51pm

Thank you for your response.

It seems as though I have been "preaching to the choir" - because there are still numerous caustic postings in other discussion groups. I am doing my best to AVOID responding to them, and encourage others to do likewise. Apparently people who love to put others down seem to get some sort of ego satisfaction out of enticing responses to their flames.

Someone recently slammed me in a discussion group that I have not even participated in...and I will avoid any responses in that group altogether. I only learned of this because someone emailed me regarding the flames. The person who "flamed" me does not even deserve a response, so I refuse to participate in that discussion group. Furthermore, if others do their best to avoid responding to "flamers" then perhaps they might realize that their comments are not worth reading.

There are NOW certain names that I will simply avoid in discussion groups, because their responses and postings are simply a waste of time. If any of you have been hurt by reading such flames, then do yourself a favor and simply refuse to read their postings.

I'm reminded of the lyrics from an old song..."When will they ever learn? ...oh when will they ever learn?"

Get courteous or get lost!

Roy Hunter

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Permalink Reply by Roy Hunter on February 9, 2010 at 10:24am

My DISCLOSURE is posted clearly on the top of my links:

"DISCLOSURE: This information is provided as a service to those seeking personal or professional help from consulting hypnotists or hypnotherapists. The appearance of a link does NOT constitute an endorsement. By using this page, you accept responsibility for making your own decisions regarding your prospective hypnosis professional."

I do not check the credentials of reciprocal postings, as they are free listings given in exchange for reciprocal links (rather than paid links). However, since Jonathan Royle no longer provides a reciprocal link, his listing may vanish next time I update the site.

Also, in my opinion your complaint about his listing belonged in a private email rather than in a public forum.

Roy Hunter

Ian Jay said:

Dr Hunter Ph.D continues to retain a link on his website to the website of Dr Royale Ph.D. And, despite of any caveat, this encourages me to continue to question Dr Hunter's meaning of the word 'professional'.
http://www.royhunter.com/hyplinks.htm
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

IJ

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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on February 9, 2010 at 10:44am

Hello Ian,

You said, I don't judge, I question, but to me it looks more like an attack...
I understand why you question Dr Hunter PH.D professionalism, because he continues to retain a link on his website to the website of Dr Royle PH.D. And, In your opinion, despite of any caveat, and based to that, this encourages you to continue to question Dr Hunter's meaning of the word 'professional'.

First off all, Dr, Roy Hunter had established a credibility where In my opinion Dr. Royle established an annoying telemarketing techniques, therefore for some people Dr. Royle will not be a great choice but at the same time for some people he will be great investment and an advertising connection, just think about it..., and In my opinion, that is a personal choice and it doesn't mean that the person who chose to have him on his website is not professional, same goes for people choosing to take Dr. Royles training as well, many professional linked with Dr. Royla because of his marketing tools... I also bought his DVDs, wasn't able to use it, but his strategy to market him self turned me off, but this is me, and It does not mean that every one else should follow what I believe.

My point is, why do you even bother? why is it so important to you to try and trash someones credibility, when he is well respected in the community?

Do you think your approach is professional? I think this is something to digest while thinking about it, and I do agree with Dr. Roy Hunter, that your complaint about his listing belonged in a private email rather than in a public forum..

Respectfully, Doreen Cohanim C.Ht
www.HypnoCruise.com

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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on February 9, 2010 at 11:07am

lol.. Thanks Adrian, By the way, where did you get the picture? I would like to use it and I would love to give a credit to the right person :)

Doreen Cohanim