Living with Hypnosis

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Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on January 30, 2010 at 7:23pm

Hi Kelley,

Perhaps, when your sister-in-law says she has anxiety she is asking for help or not-
Is your brother wanting to deal with s spiraling weight gain or not?

I would just mention hypnosis has been effective in helping kids with asthma and let your best friend know you would be happy to assist or can give her a referral - if she likes...

I am not invested in if friends and loved ones want my help as a hypnotist- I let them know when I think I can help. Example, when a aunt was having serious IBS symptoms - I told her I was confident that I could help her reduce her IBS symptoms and I did. When a cousin was dealing with cancer related fears and pain - I offered my help and was able to help him. When my uncle suffered with shingles - I offered to help or give him a referral but he said he preferred taking the medicine (chemo-) that his doctor was giving him to treat it...

I have helped several friends overcome the fear of flying, dogs and anticipatory stress, etc. - These issues came up in conversations and I described the sucess my clients were having (pre-talk/set up) and said we could do it right now --and they gave it a shot

I think it is aways appropriate to offer to help loved ones with the understanding some might prefer working with some one else and others might not want this type of assistance and some will take advantage of your offer-

Put it out there...

Hope that helps...

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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on January 30, 2010 at 7:23pm

Hi Kelley,

My sister In law smokes, my brother smokes, I used to smoke, I stopped smoking and they want to stop, but they don't believe in hypnosis and they are afraid of me controlling them, even as a joke they become fearful and ask me not to look into their eyes and turn their face a way with a huge laughter, and that's OK I respect them and I don't push.

Now, I offer and then i back a way, eventually they end up coming to me as the end result and I always happen to help, some of my family members learn to appreciate it and some still call it voodoo :)

I use hypnosis and energy healing daily, and I always share my expediences and my client story's with everybody with much passion. ( that alone usually helps, when you are excited about what you do, it becomes contagious :)

Yes, I offer my help, when rejected, I leave them alone and wait until they request my help. It is always ethical to help those you love the most, as long as they are willing and wanting you to help.

Respectfully, Doreen Cohanim C.Ht
www.hypnocruise.com

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Permalink Reply by John Cleesattel on January 30, 2010 at 7:27pm

I don't offer as much anymore. They already know what I can do and I make it plain I like to help, but I don't chase people to make them feel better or to cure their habits.

John

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Permalink Reply by Donna Carter on January 30, 2010 at 8:49pm

I was an anxiey/ panic attack crazy when I got hooked up with hypnosis. My dramatic change... had my entire family believing hypnosis works. There wasn't a sceptical one left in the bunch!
After two years of studying hypnosis...I finally felt I could offer my services, their choice if they wanted it. So...ya, I went out of my way and offered it to them, I didn't wait for them to come to me. I know/knew what their issues are/were...so why not offer if I know of them and believe I can help. It almost seemed unethical to let them suffer when I have a tool that could help.
My mom was a smoker... I offered my services, she took it, she is now a non-smoker
My brother-in-law had insomnia..I offered, he now sleeps through the night. (they both are fine with me sharing thier story)
etc. etc.
My family and friends are some of my best 'word of mouth' advertisers.
As for my kids... I have used hypnosis for years, even before I knew it was hypnosis. I have studied 'behavior' for about 13 years now and..when my kids were little, I used to tell them a story every night about a kid who worked so hard to achieve a goal and can you believe these kids names were the same as my kids names? They had trials and found ways to move forward...looking for the positives. haha ALWAYS finding the journey most wonderful...and sometimes they reached their goal (with the crowd cheering) and sometimes they realized...the journey was to show them a new goal. A different story for each kid.
Now...with my kids at 11 and 13... we have graduated to NLP. "would you like to take out the trash now or in a few minutes?" and hypnosis...imagining making that basket from the 3 pointer line.<-- they do this themselves.
And of course...I'm still operant conditioning QUEEN... and my kids know it.

With my kids...
I do not offer help for some things until they ask for it. For example, my youngest bites his nails. My oldest did...then asked, and now doesn't. My youngest will ask...when he is ready.
What I have found interesting is that I can write up a script and have them read it...and it works as if I had a session with them. For example - my oldest was feeling anxiety talking in front of people but didn't want me to help. I really wanted to help so...thought, maybe he could change his perception just by reading it? It worked. He is doing great.
Someone (maybe I will someday) should look into this phenom.

~D.

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Permalink Reply by Pete & Lorraine on January 31, 2010 at 3:45am

Hi Kelly
As my family know I am a hypnotherapist they tend to ask for help or if I can help with a situation, the same with friends, there have been and probably will be times when I offer help. Yes I remain objective I have worked with my partner Lorraine as she has worked with me. when I'm in our therapy room I have my therapy head on, when working with any client if there is something very private I tell them I don't need to know who is involved,or if a situation they really don't want anyone to know, they can do it in their head I will call them person a or b, as long as they let me know when they have said what needs to be said (if using Gestalt) and when person a/b has said their bit. I make sure everything has been dealt with and ready to let go of the old behaviour or belief. I also know some wont work with us because we know them. Family and friends are who they are and you like or dislike them for who they are warts and all and all our actions or understanding is through our mental and emotional filters. If I didn't think I could remain objective, I don't think it would be fair to work with someone.

Pete

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Permalink Reply by Kelley Woods on January 31, 2010 at 7:35am

Thank you for all of the great observations and sharing your personal perspectives. It's clear that once you are an "expert" in a certain field, some naturally accept that you can contribute something meaningful and others simply do not. Being open and available seems to be the key...all of your own families and friends are lucky to have you in their lives! (That includes myself...)

I do have a situation with a family member who I believe is quite depressed but is also very fearful and distrustful of the medical profession. She trusts me and I have helped with issues in the past but would not touch this one. I might be able to remain objective, but depression with suicidal threats I am not qualified for! I think, however, that I might be able to work with her to reduce her trepidation in seeking licensed mental health care. I will offer that to her...

Wish me luck!

Kelley

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Permalink Reply by Donna Carter on January 31, 2010 at 11:26am

Kelly,
I just had this situation happen to me yesterday!?!
I offered the option of working 'together' with a good Therapist....
she is mulling it over.
~D.

Kelley Woods said:

BR>
I do have a situation with a family member who I believe is quite depressed but is also very fearful and distrustful of the medical profession. She trusts me and I have helped with issues in the past but would not touch this one. I might be able to remain objective, but depression with suicidal threats I am not qualified for! I think, however, that I might be able to work with her to reduce her trepidation in seeking licensed mental health care. I will offer that to her...

Wish me luck!

Kelley

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Permalink Reply by Pattie Freeman CH.t, MST on January 31, 2010 at 5:35pm

I find that friends sometimes don't take you serious beause they know the YOU...and sonme do,
My friends feel that they will ask for help and I had offer but they still am curious so instead of coming in
for a session they come to my shows not to volunteer but to watch and see that it works...

Funny....I find they believe in it but they still have some questions?
If your family ask but tbey are not sure so it as a group of them so they feel they have he support from one another.

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Permalink Reply by Jagi Egnell on January 31, 2010 at 7:50pm

Hi Kelley,

With my family whenever I tried an induction or hypnosis they started to giggle, because they couldn't take me seriously at all. Although with my clients there is no problem. Personally I notice my family members are the hardest to convince of how much help I can be to them, because they do not see me in that role...for them I am just Mom, sister or daughter, also they know they won't have to pay me...so really for them they are getting nothing for free. So I have just stopped offering my help to them. Some have now come around and genuinely now asked for my help, others I think are still wary.

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Permalink Reply by Jan Krüger on February 1, 2010 at 1:52am

I rarely mention hypnosis to anyone, but I strongly believe that it is always ethical to help people as long as you don't mistake your own wishes/goals for the other person's.

When I help people, I use offhand comments and strategic distractions, and sometimes metaphors. And sometimes I explain my Unified Theory of Infinite Health and Happiness. In both cases, I suppose a huge part of the effect is that I have learned to communicate that what I say is really worth considering fully... NOW. ;)

Anyway, I've been known to be more direct when I feel that people are receptive to more voodoo-y stuff.

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