Long Term Clients

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Permalink Reply by Kathleen Hanover on August 16, 2010 at 5:18am

When I started doing personal growth work 15 years ago, the NLP practitioner I was working with told me that it was like peeling outer layers away from an onion...except you never really got to the center. As you go through life, and have new experiences, and learn new things, you're always adding new "layers" in your core. So sometimes an "outer layer" that served you for awhile just needs to be sloughed off.

I've also found that letting go of one issue frees up mental and emotional space to deal with other things.

I'll never be done improving myself, so I doubt that I'll ever stop reaching out to people who can help me improve myself. Becoming "me" isn't an event, it's a process. A lifelong process, I hope. :)

Kathleen
Marketing & PR Opinionist

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Permalink Reply by Kelley Woods on August 16, 2010 at 6:04am

My mentor taught me that the power of hypnosis lies in the fact that we don't peel the layers, we cut directly to the core! (That's why sometimes the tears...) I rather like that.

:) Kelley

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Permalink Reply by Cheryl Westley on August 16, 2010 at 6:43am

I like that analogy, Kelly. :)

I see tears with NLP too... When working with myself and others (close friends) using NLP, I like watching the layers come off. As someone else put it, "we're unloading the pile". When we get to an inner layer that preceded the junk, we can stop there and rebuild on that layer. I DO really like this approach.

And I agree, there's usually that ONE BIG THING that all other patterns are built upon, or hinge on, how ever you see it.

...That said, I'm not a huge fan of CBT. I think its painfully drawn out, full of unnecessary effort -- to those of us familiar with faster methods!! Hypnosis/NLP is like having a bad tooth simply pulled (or repaired from the core and kept!), whereas CBT is like letting an abscess push the tooth out, all the while working at it with the fingers. The end result is basically the same (problem solved -?), the latter being more toxic and painful!!!

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Permalink Reply by Susan French on August 16, 2010 at 7:03am

Really good question, Bill, and really good answers Kelley and Cheryl.

I'm reminded of my own struggle with using Age Regression and the questions that it raised in my mind. The technique I learned first always felt invasive and pushy to me. I also found that clients couldn't "resolve" the issue in the time we had alloted for the session. I found that no matter what I did, if I pushed too deeply or too quickly, my clients had a lot of disrupting reactions. If they continued and finished the work it was fine but if it was too abrupt for what they were ready for, they often bolted and never came back.

I stopped using Age Regression altogether because I couldn't find my way to consistently bring clients to resolution and relief before they bolted. And, did I have the right to go poking around and stirring up deep-seated and long-standing emotions and conflicts with getting their permission and preparing them for what could follow?

Lately, I've stuck my toes back in that water with Affect Bridge, working off feelings and thoughts rather than events. That seems more effective and the client can more easily set their own pace.

As Kelley says, hypnosis can allow us to cut to the core and in a relatively short time. However, do we really know how to bring them from awareness to resolution? As Antoine said in a question of mine: you listen to your intuition. Excellent answer. Kelley, you seem to have great natural insight and a great sense of what your clients can handle as well as a gently effective way of guiding them to their goals.

I find that my clients work best with cognitive insight along with hypnosis to discover, release and resolve. I find for myself that the better I understand how things work together, the better able I am to make long term changes. I also find that when I see the cognitive lightbulb flash in someone's face, the problem often almost solves itself. Hypnosis helps the resolution to embed itself into behavior.

Those are my thoughts. I, too, find that the "layers" idea is kind of built into the learning system. Perhaps that's why I have such a negative reaction to therapists who think that clients should respond on their timeline instead of the client's own.

Susan

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Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on August 16, 2010 at 7:55am

Hello Bill, et al,

I offer my clients an estimted time-frame for reaching their goals and that could be one, three or more sessions. In terms of developing your practice. I recommend considering offering your hypnotic-coaching and creative stress managment services on a long-term basis.

Michael E.

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Permalink Reply by James Hazlerig on August 16, 2010 at 10:05am

I've recently found myself getting caught in the trap of always wanting fast results with hypnosis. I'm actually disappointed with myself if I have to do a second session to clear out the last vestiges of a phobia.

Because hypnosis so often does work almost miraculously fast, we sometimes forget that it can take more time. I think it's important to convey that possibility to my clients, so that the one in ten who do need more sessions don't go off saying, "Well, I tried hypnosis and it didn't work." I'm still working on striking the right balance between using expectation to bring about rapid change and also managing expectations in case (gasp) we have to meet several times.

James
Even with a program of several sessions, hypnosis is still lightning fast compared to talk therapy and very safe compared to drug therapy.

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Permalink Reply by Cheryl Westley on August 16, 2010 at 11:15am

James, when I think "long term", I'm thinking months and years... traditional couch trip psychotherapy.

For us, clearing away the "shadows" /remnants in a subsequent session or two could simply be considered follow-up work. (Follow-ups are important in any specialty.)

Again, my opinion. ;-)

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Permalink Reply by Ann Finnemore on July 23, 2011 at 7:31am

Hi Bill.  

Just noticed this (haven't been on Hypnothoughts for a long time).  

I get quite a few clients who come with one thing and then reveal other issues as we go along.  This often happens with female weight loss clients.  They present as being compulsive overeaters with a significant weight issue.  They talk about their emotional eating patterns and then reveal all sorts of unresolved issues which led up to their over-eating -- examples include childhood abuse and bullying, teenage abortion, sudden bereavement of a child or parent.  I find that the negative emotions that the client is holding onto around these issues generally need to be released before eating patterns can be normalised and successful weight loss be achieved.

It makes our work fascinating and worthwhile and is also one of the reasons I keep up my learning!

 

Best wishes

Ann

 

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Permalink Reply by Bill Kennedy on July 26, 2011 at 3:43am

Thanks for your comment, Ann.  It's funny, looking at this post a year later.  Now that I have some experience, I have come to realize that yes, hypnotherapy can "cut directly to the core," but the question is, the core of what problem?  Often the client doesn't know enough about their internal processes to direct the work.  It would be lovely if you could just get the client into hypnosis and then ask the subconscious, "OK, what is the REAL problem?" but that approach is far from being 100% effective.

 

If someone has a core issue which they have covered in layer after layer of attempts to deal with it, then it seems to me that they may need a session to learn how to relax and feel good about themselves, a session to learn how to listen to themselves and trust their subconscious, and a session to get to the most pressing issue.  Working the first issue may lead to resolution, or it may lead to more work.  Resolving that issue may uncover unrelated issues.

 

To me, this is where client centred therapy shines.  If your approach is to help the client become an expert in themselves rather than trying to "fix" their problem, then they can help you guide that laser beam called hypnosis to exactly the right spot.

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Permalink Reply by Cheryl Westley on July 26, 2011 at 8:02am

I agree. I know first hand how hard it (sometimes) is to identify a core issue. Even when your conscious mind wants to know... core issues can be hidden pretty well. Usually they're in "plain sight" but unidentified nonetheless.

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Permalink Reply by Richard Nongard - NLPBoard.com on July 26, 2011 at 8:49am

You are limited by your beliefs.   This therapist has a formula "his beliefs"  and his belief is that if a guy has been depressed for 24 years, it will take him 104 session to find resolution.

Frankly, I think that is an insane belief, but hey, people believe crazier things (think religion and politics).

 

Our outcomes match our beliefs.   I I believe it takes 104 sessions, it will take 104 sessions.

 

But even if he is a nice guy to BBQ qith, he is probaly the last person I would refer any clients to.

When he changes his beliefs, he can change his outcomes.

 

 

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Permalink Reply by Bill Kennedy on July 26, 2011 at 7:04pm

I have trouble with the sentence, "You are limited by your beliefs."   Aren't you also empowered by your beliefs?  Similarly with experience and learning.  Aren't you also limited and empowered by them as well?

 

What's definitely not true is that our outcomes match our beliefs.  People regularly fail at things they believed would work.  People even succeed at things they believed would fail.  Wouldn't it be more accurate to say that our outcomes are influenced by our beliefs?

 

I'm not sure how taking someone's rule of thumb and extrapolating it ad absurdum adds to the discussion, but hey, there are worse ways to argue.

 

 

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