need some help

Hello friends,

I have a child age of 11 years and he's afraid of dark and see nightmares.

This is the case I found:

Grand mother of this child has dead an year ago. after that he experience nightmares. He sees that his dead grand mother come to kiss him. Now he's not sleep alone and if he sleep alone bed wetting occurs.

what do you suggest? Age regression or simple script base session?

Any scripts for this?

appreciate ur advices.

cheers...

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Permalink Reply by Barry Neale on February 16, 2012 at 12:07pm

Hi Amik,

There are a number ways of working with this but due to the content of the dream I would work directly with the dream.

There are 3 ways of changing a dream or the memoery of a dream

1.Changing the reaction to the dream

2.Allow the dream to continue

3.Change the events of the dream.

Changing the reaction to the dream means to consciously choose to respond differently to what's happening. If your dream is about someone chasing you and just before they catch you, you wake up, then what you might do is put your attention on a moment just before the wake up point and imagine yourself stopping and then turning around and shouting "why are you chasing me?" I know more than one person who had the response I am not chasing you, I am following you!

Allowing the dream to continue means thinking about the dream and keeping your attention focused on it passed the normal wake up point. In my experience there is always a positive resolution if you follow it long enough.

Changing the events of a dream is a creative intervention which can be used to instill a strong sense of confidence and esteem. If the confidence is low then you might want to repeat this over and over. Basically you are saying to the UCM "not this, this"

With children you can use superhero's to combat monsters in dreams but as this is the childs dead grandmother then I would prefer to do one of the above.

I hope this helps

barry

Permalink Reply by Michelle Braun on February 16, 2012 at 12:13pm

Did you consider that perhaps he really is seeing his dead grandmother? My question likely won't be popular among many here, but it is what it is. Why not say she is his (guardian) angel coming to tuck him in at night. Just remove the fear of seeing her and replace with love and joy. He loved her in life hopefully. She obviously loved (loves) him.

Kindest regards,

Michelle

Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on February 16, 2012 at 12:42pm

I agree -- Let's add a #4 to Barry's list

4. Reframe the dream

Best,

Michael E.

Michelle Braun said:

Did you consider that perhaps he really is seeing his dead grandmother? My question likely won't be popular among many here, but it is what it is. Why not say she is his (guardian) angel coming to tuck him in at night. Just remove the fear of seeing her and replace with love and joy. He loved her in life hopefully. She obviously loved (loves) him.

Kindest regards,

Michelle

Permalink Reply by Amik on February 17, 2012 at 7:04am

Thanks friends for your advices and extremely appreciate them all.
:)

Permalink Reply by Kelley Woods on February 17, 2012 at 8:56am

If it's appropriate, you might even suggest that the loving kiss from Grandmother is a signal to get up and use the toilet!

Permalink Reply by Nathan Welch on February 17, 2012 at 11:39am

Some truly great advice given by some very great people, As a clinician that works with children every day I would also say to listen to the childs narrative about the experience, ask them what they would like to be different and how that would make them feel and build a better story, dream to have from the answers they give you.

You could also include a little routine, spell, bit of EFT before bed that the child can engage in themselves, to build some pos anchors around sleep, dreaming and going to the loo.

Make it fun teach some mindfulness skills and watch the child work their magic, good luck let us all know how you get on so we can share any learnings you discover smiles Nath.

Permalink Reply by Fay Kelly on February 17, 2012 at 12:05pm

Maybe Grandmother is his new "guardian angel" and she is going to "watch over and help him" as he grows up. Wonder if he would like that?

Permalink Reply by Nuruzzaman Ash Sidiq on February 19, 2012 at 12:13am

Hi
I think regresion is the best way because we will know why he afraid of that and what make a trigger for him.
after that we can change his believe of that dark into another believe. but be careful some time some people will give us abreaction if we go for regresion.

or may be we can use EFT to stop that.

Permalink Reply by Robert Gorski on February 19, 2012 at 6:29am

I am not sure about using age regression as that could make it a very unpleasant experience for him possibly making it even worse (his only 11 year old). I would rather reframe his dream, as suggested above. The idea with "guardian angel" suggested by Fay Kelly or asking him questions and then building a better story as suggested by Nathan Welch would probably make a better choice.

Permalink Reply by Kelley Woods on February 19, 2012 at 7:51am

Please don't use regression on this child, unless it's to remind him in conversation about some wonderful time he spent with his grandmother! In fact, I suggest you explore his relationship with his grandmother and other family members, in addition to discovering his (and family's) belief system regarding afterlife, ghosts, spirits, etc. This will give you illumination about why he is afraid of this dream and clues on how to reframe that fear.

Nath's recommendation of using EFT is wonderful. I often suggest to parents that they sit with their child at night, after reading a story, prayer, etc., and gently tap while the child tells them their "story" of the day...

Permalink Reply by Amik on February 20, 2012 at 8:28pm

Hello my dear friends,

Thank you for your advices ....
soooooo appreciate them all... Thanks again...

I hypnotized him 4 days ago ..... and it was extremely successful. Now he's not fear or no more nightmares...

I found that, He's not like to his grand mother.... But grand mother loves him and tried to love him and kiss him.
But this child is not like it anyway! He has listen to the friends' stories about ghosts..... and after his grand mother's dead, this nightmares comes and fear to spleep alone in his room.

So I hypnotized him and let him to imagine that he's in his room after mid night... then I made a protective shield light and suggested that that shield covers him every time from every bad things. so made sure that he's safe every time throughout his lifetime. then I suggested that now light disappear and when it happens each and every negative thoughts, fears from past dissolve from his mind. even if light won't see to the naked eye, it protect you every time.

then I gave him a dream control script to see only positive dreams.

I took care not to remember his grand mother in anyway! Because he's not like to his grand mother and she was the problem.

So I simply successful and now he's OK! :)

Thanks everybody who gave me advices!
Nice day!