Painful Memories and Suffering

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Permalink Reply by John Cleesattel on August 21, 2011 at 8:34am

Walt,

Until the wife is ready to forgive and move on, you are spinning your wheels. You can't change the past and neither can she. What you can do..."when she is ready to let it go"...is to first use a forgiveness technique....then a core dump technique to dump the anger...then remove the emotional significance of the memories so that they no longer feel bad when she remembers them with techniques like the swish pattern.

 

I hope this helps

John

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Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on August 21, 2011 at 8:54am

Hi Kathleen-

 

He did?  I must be missing something??

 

I do not believe it is a good idea to attempt to hypnotically induce amnesia or erase memories. Is it dangerous? -- Probably not, but it could be depending on the client and the skill level of the hypnosis practitioner. Is it unethical? It is against my personal idea of professional ethics. If hypnosis practitioners are in doubt I recommend asking your certifying hypnosis organizations if this is addressed in their codes of behavior.

 

@ Walt-

 

You can easily attach a "laugh track" to your cient's previously painful memories so that they no longer have any sting.  

Kathleen Hanover said:

Michael,

 

Walt asked why it isn't a good idea to give someone amnesia or erase memories. Could you expand on your comment? Why isn't that a good idea? Is it dangerous or unethical?

 

Thanks,
Kathleen

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Permalink Reply by Walt on August 21, 2011 at 9:09am

All,

It's not always clear what I'm asking. I did want some illumination of: 

 

B) Trying to help clients suppress, stop or avoid painful memories is highly NOT recommended. (Is dat gud English?)

 

This may be a learning opportunity for others besides me. 

 

I'm still a beginner,

 

Walt

 

 

 

 

 

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Permalink Reply by Walt on August 21, 2011 at 9:25am

John,

 

I know what a core dump is but please explain what you mean by it in this context.

 

I would really like to hear about your core dump method.

 

(Am I hearing that systems analyst part of you speaking?)

 

Walt

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Permalink Reply by Kathleen Hanover on August 21, 2011 at 10:51am

Thanks, John.

 

Another question. Why would a hypnotist give a client a suggestion to "forget to remember or remember to forget" everything the hypnotist said or did during the actual hypnosis session? What is the purpose of that?

 

Kathleen

 

John Cleesattel said:

Kathleen,

Its not a good idea because the memory isn't really erased, just the cognitive access to it is removed. It is akin to us "burying" a memory that is too painful for us to remember. We will still react to it on an unconscious level.

 

John

 

Kathleen Hanover said:

Michael,

 

Walt asked why it isn't a good idea to give someone amnesia or erase memories. Could you expand on your comment? Why isn't that a good idea? Is it dangerous or unethical?

 

Thanks,
Kathleen

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Permalink Reply by John Cleesattel on August 21, 2011 at 1:44pm

Kathleen,

To be honest, in a clinical setting...other than to showcase amnesia or time distortion trance effects, I have no clue. I personally don't use it outside of an entertainment or recreational venue and I see no clinical value for it.

 

But that's just me

John

Kathleen Hanover said:

Thanks, John.

 

Another question. Why would a hypnotist give a client a suggestion to "forget to remember or remember to forget" everything the hypnotist said or did during the actual hypnosis session? What is the purpose of that?

 

Kathleen

 

John Cleesattel said:

Kathleen,

Its not a good idea because the memory isn't really erased, just the cognitive access to it is removed. It is akin to us "burying" a memory that is too painful for us to remember. We will still react to it on an unconscious level.

 

John

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Permalink Reply by John Cleesattel on August 21, 2011 at 1:54pm

Walt,

LOL..Probably so.. as you know, I tend to approach things from a process point of view.

 

Here is a discussion where I present the technique:

http://www.hypnothoughts.com/forum/topics/lung-cancer-yet-resistant...

 

Hope that clears it up

John

 

 

Walt Potter said:

John,

 

I know what a core dump is but please explain what you mean by it in this context.

 

I would really like to hear about your core dump method.

 

(Am I hearing that systems analyst part of you speaking?)

 

Walt

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Permalink Reply by J3n Wilding on August 22, 2011 at 3:21pm

Hi, Walt:

You mentioned that you don't think your client is ready to let go of her anger. One approach that might be helpful is to remind her that our subconscious mind is always looking out for our well-being and that emotions are signals to us that are meant to be used in navigating our way to well-being. As such, anger, sadness and pain are useful signals that what we are experiencing is not healthy for us. For example, if we injure our spine, pain signals to us that something is not right and needs to be adjusted or addressed before we continue activity. Her painful emotions have been attempting to communicate with her for 18 months because she has not yet received the message. Ask her if she is willing to receive the message now. If so, then I would ask her what the message is. (For example: how is her current situation a mismatch for the situation she truly desires that would align her with healthy feelings of well-being.) Then I would assist her in getting as much detail on what that would look, feel like, sound like, etc and create that as vividly as possible and allow her to experience the freedom of what life would be like in that life and really build on that. You could even easily incorporate this language of this new desire into the EFT work if you decide to do tapping.

Once she recognizes that the life and relationships she truly desire are not aligned with her current relationship she will be ready to move on to something that is a match for this new desire she has created and view this time in her life as the opportunity to be open to having that in her life. As a result, she will have neutralized the emotions around her relationship with her husband because she will have received the message the pain and anger have been communicating to her: that she deserves something better, happier, healthier (she will have her own words for this that you use). I would ramp up that desire to be a part of a happy and healthy relationship as much as possible and likely anchor it to something she sees or hears everyday - something she has mentioned or perhaps a color so that every time she sees the color (or whatever) she gets the feeling back of what it's like to be in a healthy relationship and be happy. I would also invite her to thank her subconscious for communicating the message for her protection.

From there you will have an opportunity to also do forgiveness work, which is recommended. It sounds like you are also working on confidence ("internal support"), which is great - keep that up.

 

jen

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Permalink Reply by Stephanie Conkle on August 23, 2011 at 10:54am

Walt,

 

She doesn't have to forget the memory. We just want to take out the sting and push it out of the front of her mind.

1) I would do a simple regression to cause and have her examine the memory (as her wiser self now) of the scene(s) from different points of view, several times over.

2) Give her hypernesia (not amnesia) so she can pick up on details she overlooked at the time. This is very empowering! She will find valuable information this way and you might even be able to stop there if she gets closure from that. 

Then...either/or (associate/disassociate):

3a) Emerge and use NLP techniques for dissociation from the feeling. Like, I would have her play the memory as movie over and over again with each time something taken away like the movie goes black and white, then the sound fades, then the screen shrinks, and then it fades to black, etc. Then play a scene where she feels good over the first screen, big and bold and brightly. 

3b) Or...while she's regressed, use association methods to allow her to have all of her (angry/sad) feelings come up and out of her. Let her abreact to the emotional charge of the scene in order to release it out of her.  The notion is you have to "feel to heal," so we feel it all one good last time and move it outside of ourselves. Give her a pillow to wail on, to really let out the emotion. (IMO, this is the best method but can be time consuming and draining on both the client and practitioner.)

 

...See if she can find the GOOD that came out of these events. 

 

4) The last step would be forgiveness hypnosis when she's ready.  

 

Trance out,

Stephanie

 

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