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Possible Talking Point: Can Positive Affirmations Have Negative Effects?
Possible Talking Point:
Just asking- Can Positive Affirmations Have Negative Effects?
According to the news item below a study shows they can.... What do you think?
"Study Shows the Negative Side to Positive Self-Statements"
http://www.newswise.com/p/articles/view/553934/
Source: Association for Psychological Science Released: Thu 02-Jul-2009, 11:00 ET
Study Shows the Negative Side to Positive Self-Statements
Description
Psychologists Joanne V. Wood and John W. Lee from the University of Waterloo, and W.Q. Elaine Perunovic from the University of New Brunswick, found that individuals with low self-esteem actually felt worse about themselves after repeating positive self-statements.
Newswise — In times of doubt and uncertainty, many Americans turn to self-help books in search of encouragement, guidance and self-affirmation. The positive self-statements suggested in these books, such as "I am a lovable person" or "I will succeed," are designed to lift a person's low self-esteem and push them into positive action. According to a recent study in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, however, these statements can actually have the opposite effect.
Psychologists Joanne V. Wood and John W. Lee from the University of Waterloo, and W.Q. Elaine Perunovic from the University of New Brunswick, found that individuals with low self-esteem actually felt worse about themselves after repeating positive self-statements.
The researchers asked participants with low self-esteem and high self-esteem to repeat the self-help book phrase "I am a lovable person." The psychologists then measured the participants' moods and their momentary feelings about themselves. As it turned out, the individuals with low self-esteem felt worse after repeating the positive self-statement compared to another low self-esteem group who did not repeat the self-statement. The individuals with high self-esteem felt better after repeating the positive self-statement--but only slightly.
In a follow-up study, the psychologists allowed the participants to list negative self-thoughts along with positive self-thoughts. They found that, paradoxically, low self-esteem participants' moods fared better when they were allowed to have negative thoughts than when they were asked to focus exclusively on affirmative thoughts.
The psychologists suggested that, like overly positive praise, unreasonably positive self-statements, such as "I accept myself completely," can provoke contradictory thoughts in individuals with low self-esteem. Such negative thoughts can overwhelm the positive thoughts. And, if people are instructed to focus exclusively on positive thoughts, they may find negative thoughts to be especially discouraging.
As the authors concluded, "Repeating positive self-statements may benefit certain people [such as individuals with high self-esteem] but backfire for the very people who need them the most."
Psychological Science is ranked among the top 10 general psychology journals for impact by the Institute for Scientific Information. For a copy of the article "Positive Self-Statements: Power for some, peril for others" and access to other Psychological Science research findings, please contact Katie Kline at 202.293.9300 orkkline@psychologicalscience.org.
© 2009 Newswise. All Rights Reserved.
=^..^=
In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, any copyrighted work in this message is distributed under fair use without profit or payment for non-profit research and educational purposes only.
Just asking- Can Positive Affirmations Have Negative Effects?
According to the news item below a study shows they can.... What do you think?
"Study Shows the Negative Side to Positive Self-Statements"
http://www.newswise.com/p/articles/view/553934/
Source: Association for Psychological Science Released: Thu 02-Jul-2009, 11:00 ET
Study Shows the Negative Side to Positive Self-Statements
Description
Psychologists Joanne V. Wood and John W. Lee from the University of Waterloo, and W.Q. Elaine Perunovic from the University of New Brunswick, found that individuals with low self-esteem actually felt worse about themselves after repeating positive self-statements.
Newswise — In times of doubt and uncertainty, many Americans turn to self-help books in search of encouragement, guidance and self-affirmation. The positive self-statements suggested in these books, such as "I am a lovable person" or "I will succeed," are designed to lift a person's low self-esteem and push them into positive action. According to a recent study in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, however, these statements can actually have the opposite effect.
Psychologists Joanne V. Wood and John W. Lee from the University of Waterloo, and W.Q. Elaine Perunovic from the University of New Brunswick, found that individuals with low self-esteem actually felt worse about themselves after repeating positive self-statements.
The researchers asked participants with low self-esteem and high self-esteem to repeat the self-help book phrase "I am a lovable person." The psychologists then measured the participants' moods and their momentary feelings about themselves. As it turned out, the individuals with low self-esteem felt worse after repeating the positive self-statement compared to another low self-esteem group who did not repeat the self-statement. The individuals with high self-esteem felt better after repeating the positive self-statement--but only slightly.
In a follow-up study, the psychologists allowed the participants to list negative self-thoughts along with positive self-thoughts. They found that, paradoxically, low self-esteem participants' moods fared better when they were allowed to have negative thoughts than when they were asked to focus exclusively on affirmative thoughts.
The psychologists suggested that, like overly positive praise, unreasonably positive self-statements, such as "I accept myself completely," can provoke contradictory thoughts in individuals with low self-esteem. Such negative thoughts can overwhelm the positive thoughts. And, if people are instructed to focus exclusively on positive thoughts, they may find negative thoughts to be especially discouraging.
As the authors concluded, "Repeating positive self-statements may benefit certain people [such as individuals with high self-esteem] but backfire for the very people who need them the most."
Psychological Science is ranked among the top 10 general psychology journals for impact by the Institute for Scientific Information. For a copy of the article "Positive Self-Statements: Power for some, peril for others" and access to other Psychological Science research findings, please contact Katie Kline at 202.293.9300 orkkline@psychologicalscience.org.
© 2009 Newswise. All Rights Reserved.
=^..^=
In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, any copyrighted work in this message is distributed under fair use without profit or payment for non-profit research and educational purposes only.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by the grumpy hypnotist on -
I can see how that would be the case. Many clients come in after having tried those affirmation and positive thinking type approaches with little result. Some describe feeling stupider and more foolish while going through those exercises.
When I get the sense that the client has been disappointed by previous attempts at using "I am lovable" routines, or is of a generally grumpy disposition, I emphasize that we don't rely on that feel-good positive thinking stuff, I am not there to tell them what a wonderful human being they are. It is interesting that this kind of communication (with certain people) seems to cause them to brighten up and get more involved with the process.
However, after doing change-work, I encourage even those people to give that stuff another try, it may have more impact now that the junk has been cleared out. They seem more receptive to it afterwards. Anyway, I think self-esteem can be over-rated and not necessarily the basis of a solution to helping someone achieve a specific objective. I mean, a criminal or sociopath or totally incompetent person with poor life skills can have a great sense of self-esteem, right?
I guess the takeaway reminder from this study is that it's not optimal to assume that every client will love feel-good affirmations, just like not everybody likes the idea of "imagine yourself relaxing on a warm sunny beach", or enjoys soothing New Agey music during sessions.
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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on -
Hi Michael,
I second Sheila and agree with the study, low self-esteem is a conditioning corrected of ever, and just positive affirmations will not do any good, and I agree that it will have more negative impact rather then positive.
For example; my ex husband was tolled he was stupid all his life, when he tolled me that his mother was telling him stupid all the time, and therefore he agrees with her was devastating, and I kept telling him he, that he was smart, capable to boost his self esteem and I even asked them to repeat this affirmation before I was even a hypnotherapist or dreamed of being one… and the result was not so positive because he could not believe the affirmation, he never related to I am attractive, I am Intelligent, I am smart, it will soon turn into an angry behavior that lead to breaking objects.
And if he finally did well, and he was tolled how great he did, he will be so excited for a short time until he will speak to his Mother sharing the good news and having her approval that what others complimented him is in fact correct.
Mother never approved his way unless it was her way, so even when he did well, she will tell him, “Well, Why didn’t you think about it before”, and that ruined all the excitement and negative emotion become stronger.
The only time ever she agreed with him was, If you divorce your wife, I will buy you a nice car, and he agreed to urine our marriage to be approved by his mother, and that good feeling was great temporary, since when he did what she was asked, she will start on her regular insult and lowering his self esteem.
My son was raised by my Ex mother in law for conspiracy reasons and strange Circumstances, and my son also reported out loud that he was stupid at times when things were not coming to him easy, and the more I was suggesting to him to change the way he put himself down the use positive affirmation, he would become even more aggravated telling me, what do you know, My Grandma raised me and she always calls me stupid…
And when I asked why can’t he just say the great positive affirmation so his mind that will replace the stupid into I am smart, I am intelligent and good enough, saying that didn’t really did the work, and unfortunately I knew the only way to help him was hypnosis & EFT, before any positive affirmation, and yes, this is a true statement, it's like putting a bandage on an infected wound without cleaning it first.
When my son failed his driven test, he was devastated calling him self stupid, before going for his second driving test I had him do EFT, It was hard and he did it, he also passed the driving test with a smile, but still was making fun of me and EFT, and that was because he wanted to feel that he did it on his own, and he did, and I truly believe EFT took out some of the negative pressure at that moment only, since he did not want to do it anymore.
Hope my personal experience makes sense to why I agree with the article.
Respectfully Doreen Cohanim C.Ht
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Permalink Reply by Mark Tyrrell on -
Hi Doreen
I think this is right. "Low self esteemers" have a strong emotionally conditioned belief system surrounding their own self worth. It is the feeling part of a person that needs to alter before the thinking can change (at least where strong beliefs are concerned).
The self affirmation was invented by the French psychologist Emile Coue in the 1920's. He told people to tell themselves: “Every day in every way I am getting better and better” and his ideas really took off, especially in the states but new emotional patters don't come about necessarily through rote learning.
I think affirmations can have value sometimes as "self pep talks" but as a strategy for overcoming, say, years of abuse and trauma they are a little like using a dust pan and brush to clear up the damage after an Earthquake.
Cheers
Mark
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Doreen Cohanim C.Ht said:Hi Michael,
I second Sheila and agree with the study, low self-esteem is a conditioning corrected of ever, and just positive affirmations will not do any good, and I agree that it will have more negative impact rather then positive.
For example; my ex husband was tolled he was stupid all his life, when he tolled me that his mother was telling him stupid all the time, and therefore he agrees with her was devastating, and I kept telling him he, that he was smart, capable to boost his self esteem and I even asked them to repeat this affirmation before I was even a hypnotherapist or dreamed of being one… and the result was not so positive because he could not believe the affirmation, he never related to I am attractive, I am Intelligent, I am smart, it will soon turn into an angry behavior that lead to breaking objects.
And if he finally did well, and he was tolled how great he did, he will be so excited for a short time until he will speak to his Mother sharing the good news and having her approval that what others complimented him is in fact correct.
Mother never approved his way unless it was her way, so even when he did well, she will tell him, “Well, Why didn’t you think about it before”, and that ruined all the excitement and negative emotion become stronger.
The only time ever she agreed with him was, If you divorce your wife, I will buy you a nice car, and he agreed to urine our marriage to be approved by his mother, and that good feeling was great temporary, since when he did what she was asked, she will start on her regular insult and lowering his self esteem.
My son was raised by my Ex mother in law for conspiracy reasons and strange Circumstances, and my son also reported out loud that he was stupid at times when things were not coming to him easy, and the more I was suggesting to him to change the way he put himself down the use positive affirmation, he would become even more aggravated telling me, what do you know, My Grandma raised me and she always calls me stupid…
And when I asked why can’t he just say the great positive affirmation so his mind that will replace the stupid into I am smart, I am intelligent and good enough, saying that didn’t really did the work, and unfortunately I knew the only way to help him was hypnosis & EFT, before any positive affirmation, and yes, this is a true statement, it's like putting a bandage on an infected wound without cleaning it first.
When my son failed his driven test, he was devastated calling him self stupid, before going for his second driving test I had him do EFT, It was hard and he did it, he also passed the driving test with a smile, but still was making fun of me and EFT, and that was because he wanted to feel that he did it on his own, and he did, and I truly believe EFT took out some of the negative pressure at that moment only, since he did not want to do it anymore.
Hope my personal experience makes sense to why I agree with the article.
Respectfully Doreen Cohanim C.Ht
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Permalink Reply by Michael Haifleigh on -
Michael,
Thanks for pointing out the article and issue. I think the issue is worthy of inquiry and research, whether the focus is self help books in general or affirmations in particular.
This particular article does not seem to do the studies justice. It would be great if it were a matter of a few mouse clicks and $19.95 to obtain a copy of the studies.
BTW: I was surprised and saddened to hear of the recent death of Infomercial King, Billy Mays.
Michael Haifleigh
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Permalink Reply by Fable Goodman on -
one needs to make the affirmation, at a level that is acceptable to, and workabvle with the person at that time..
For some, this may be..." At least I am not the worst piece of garbage I have ever come across".
that is a step in the right direction for some people.
When some one has very low self esteem, you need to first of all meet them where they are, and give them a set of suggestions, (or affirmations) that are just enough to challenge them and move them forward, without provoking the patterns that say otherwise.. LIttle by little, you can increase the positive affirmations, at the pace that the client can live with, and work with.
Many peope like to work far more quickly than their clients are able to cope with, and convince themselves that they are doing an excelllent job.
Slow down, and work with the client, rather than trying to push the client to work at your pace., and much more rapid progress will be made.
Love and hugs.
Fable
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Permalink Reply by Jason Keen on -
I have personal experience with the fact that positive affirmations can have a negative effect. When I first learned about New Thought Philosophy about ten years ago, I began an aggressive attempt to drastically change my self talk. I found, more often than not, that when I tried to assert by affirmation something that was too far out of my normal thought patterns, I would often have another thought that plainly contradicted the affirmation. For instance, I tried saying "I am a morning person, and I easily and effortlessly rise from bed at 6am". Then a thought would often follow "yeah right! I know better than that, I've always been a night owl". The same would happen with other attempts, and this contradiction made me feel frustrated, discouraged, and somehow unworthy.
Althought I don't Identify with it as my cup of tea, I now understand New Thought (the foundation from which The Secret was derived) much better, and I do still draw from it in several ways. Affirmations, whether used in conjunction with another set of principles or on their own, depend on where you or your client is staring from. As several members have mentioned, the use of affirmations in the manner addressed in the study comes from an incomplete concept of how they work.
In New Thought, Alchemy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, EMDR, and the techniques I've learned with hypnosis, the potential for change largely depends on the relative accessability of the new (positive) affirmations or cognitions. Basically, we're talking about pacing and leading - meeting the client where they are, and gradually leading them to the next, realistic level. Affirmations are the same.
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Permalink Reply by Jan Krüger on -
Well, that was sort of obvious to me. The whole point of hypnosis is getting suggestions like that into someone's mind without triggering the whole "hey, that's nonsense, I'm actually the biggest loser ever" chain of thoughts that makes things even worse! Be it by doing pacing and leading as Fable implied, or by being more indirect, or by manipulating ISE's, or even all of those.
A significantly better way of phrasing positive affirmations is something like: "I don't feel very confident in myself yet, but when, some time in the future, I notice that I have started noticing things about myself that I wasn't aware of before, I'm going to be pleasantly surprised." It's not quite as catchy, I guess, but probably easier to swallow if you're not too cynical about the future: it acknowledges the current situation, implies change, and is rather open-ended.
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Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on -
I agree.
Hypnosis works best when we give our clients a REASON TO BELIEVE. On the other hand, I just can't imagine that mental health professionals would be involved with promoting any research that demonstrated the benefits of self-help.
I have discovered another level of working with clients as have many of the seasoned professionals on this site -- When a skilled hypnosis practitioner is in profound rapport with and focusing on his or her client -- the powers of intent and expectation automatically kick in creating the space for your clients to transform each and every one of your words into exactly what they need for healing... So, you can relax --
Newbies --
Don't take my word for it. I am sure that all of you have areas in life where you are self-assured and confident -- States where you are alert, open, centered, and grounded in the moment -- anchor these states and practice working with your clients from that place-- Your heart is happy. your mind is peaceful and quiet and your spirit is playful -- YOU BELIEVE IN YOUR SKILLS AND ABILITIES TO HELP AND YOU BELIEVE IN YOUR CLIENTS INNATE RESOURCES TO MAKE IT HAPPEN-- It's really easy - connect with your client, breathe with your client, and as you work from your resource state-- your client automatically joins you and Wham! - You and your client are ready to launch their healing adventure....
Michael E.
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Permalink Reply by Dan Paris on
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Hi Michael Haifleigh,
Since you enjoyed my reply on the IMDHA board and even more especially since you were saddened to hear about the recent death of Billy Mays I'll post my thoughts here again.
But first, I spent the day at the San Diego County Fair today and paused in the exhibition hall where Billy Mays worked about 7-10 years ago and I really began to appreciate the skill that goes in to the demonstrations these men and women make. The best, as was Billy, are truly hypnotic. I've watched about an hour or so worth of Billy's work today on youtube and like you am sad for the loss.
Here is my reply to the question at hand:
I love the thought that as we craft a specific affirmation or suggestion, one that our client has asked for, we offer an outcome different than was found by giving a subject in a study a generic, un-elicited affirmation like "I am loveable."
A mentor taught me to reduce dissonance and write affirmations differently for things we want but don't yet believe.
He suggested, when this is happening to simply add the softener "I love the thought" in front of the affirmation. This is especially useful when the affirmation is at the identity level as they did in the study.
This way if the person is not feeling completely loveable when they say, "I am lovable," they can instead say, "I love the thought that I am lovable," and now more easily accept the suggestion.
As hypnotists we can further use this idea to craft suggestions like, "you can fall in love with the idea that you are lovable" or "you may begin to notice yourself falling in love with the thought that you are lovable."
Dan Paris
Michael Haifleigh said:Michael,
Thanks for pointing out the article and issue. I think the issue is worthy of inquiry and research, whether the focus is self help books in general or affirmations in particular.
This particular article does not seem to do the studies justice. It would be great if it were a matter of a few mouse clicks and $19.95 to obtain a copy of the studies.
BTW: I was surprised and saddened to hear of the recent death of Infomercial King, Billy Mays.
Michael Haifleigh
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Permalink Reply by Fable Goodman on
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Dan Paris said:Hi Michael Haifleigh,
A mentor taught me to reduce dissonance and write affirmations differently for things we want but don't yet believe.
He suggested, when this is happening to simply add the softener "I love the thought" in front of the affirmation. This is especially useful when the affirmation is at the identity level as they did in the study.
This way if the person is not feeling completely loveable when they say, "I am lovable," they can instead say, "I love the thought that I am lovable," and now more easily accept the suggestion.
As hypnotists we can further use this idea to craft suggestions like, "you can fall in love with the idea that you are lovable" or "you may begin to notice yourself falling in love with the thought that you are lovable."
Dan Paris
Great, this seems to me like a really workable way of making a positive affirmation,( which otherwise might be too stong (and therefore create cognitive dissonance), acceptable.
Thanks for that Dan.
Love and hugs,
Fable
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Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on
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FYI -- It was thrilling to be quoted in an article that explored the effectiveness of affirmations in the Jan 09 issue of Good Housekeeping Magazine and according to me:
The 3 key factors in the effectiveness of the affirmations are:
1. The affirmations must be reasonable and believable
2. The state of mind of the person when affirming
3. Taking action to support the affirmations
©¿©¬
^^^
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Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on
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Hi,
This was originally posted on NFNLP's "Art of NLP" Discussion Group
which is a free benefit of NFNLP membership. Steve was kind enough to
allow me to share it with you --
On Jul 3, 2009, at 1:46 PM, Steve Andreas wrote:
Re: [Art-Of-NLP] Can Positive Affirmations Have Negative Effects?
That study's findings fit with my understanding. Below is a very short
excerpt from my book, "Help with Negative Self-talk" which will available as
a downloadable book in a week or so from http://www.realpeoplepress.com/
(The book also presents additional ways of talking to yourself that
don't have the problems inherent in typical affirmations.)
Steve Andreas
4
Talking to Yourself Positively
Try saying the sentence, “What else can I enjoy right now?” to yourself, and
notice how it changes what you attend to, and how you feel in response. . .
.
That sentence directs your attention toward what you can enjoy in the
present moment, rather than the complaints and problems that so often occupy
our attention and make us feel bad. Even in the worst situation there is
always something to enjoy, so this instruction never contradicts your
reality. And it also doesn’t contradict any grumpy voice that is complaining
about all the nasty stuff. It doesn’t oppose it by saying “but,” it just
directs your attention to other aspects of your experience, saying “and,”
joining what a critical voice might be attending to with noticing what you
can enjoy. If you say that sentence repeatedly until it becomes an
unconscious mantra it can reorient your life.
Contrast can often clarify and deepen your understanding of how things work.
Notice what happens if you replace the word “enjoy” with “criticize,”
“disparage,” or “be disgusted by” or some other negative word or phrase,
just for a short time to notice what that is like. . . .
That sentence directs your attention in a very different way, and could
easily result in plenty of unhappiness, or even depression. Many depressed
people talk to themselves in this way without realizing it. Attending to
what you don’t like results in unpleasant feelings; attending to what you
can enjoy results in pleasant feelings.
But there is another subtle aspect of the sentence “What else can I enjoy
right now?” This becomes apparent if you delete the word “else,” to get
“What can I enjoy right now?” Try saying this sentence to yourself
repeatedly, and notice how you feel in response, and how that is different
from how you feel in response to the same sentence with “else” in it. . . .
The sentence “What can I enjoy right now?” has a very different effect,
because it implies that you aren’t enjoying anything right now—even though
that is not a logical consequence of the statement. Most people will respond
to this implication by feeling the opposite of enjoyment. When I say this
sentence to myself, the tonality is slower and the pitch is lower, and I
feel a heaviness, lethargy, somewhat depressed, because it sounds a little
like a teacher telling me what I should do.
The word “else” in the first question presupposes that you are already
enjoying something. So you naturally feel some enjoyment—as your attention
searches for something else to enjoy. What a difference a single word can
make!
And of course you can replace “enjoy” with any other verb that indicates
what you want more of in your experience—learn, love, appreciate, see more
clearly, understand, etc. Try saying to yourself, “What else can I learn
right now?” repeatedly to see how that directs your attention, and how you
respond. . . .
Now pick another verb to put in the place of “learn” to find out what that
is like. . . .
And then do the same with “love” or some other words, and discover what that
is like. . . .
Affirmations
Many people advocate repeatedly saying positive affirmations to themselves,
as a way to change their beliefs about themselves and improve their lives.
Affirmations originated with Emile Coue (1857-1926) who advocated saying the
following sentence repeatedly, until it became an unconscious background
mantra: “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better.”
There is a serious problem with this particular affirmation in the repeated
word, “every.” It will never be true that every day and every way I am
getting better. Reality just isn’t like that. Even if I am getting
marvelously better in many ways, it won’t be in all ways. Most of us have an
internal voice that listens for universal statements and challenges them—and
those who don’t have that kind of voice would be better off having one! If I
say Coue’s statement to myself, it stimulates my internal voice to find the
exceptions to that universal generalization. It might say sarcastically,
“Yeah, right! How about the way you snapped at your wife this morning—is
that better? How about that sore knee that flared up yesterday, so that
you’re hobbling around this morning—is that better? I don’t think so.”
So even if the idea of affirmations might be worth pursuing, we need to be
very careful about the words that we say to ourselves, or they may backfire
and produce opposite results. Any universal words, like “all,” “every,”
“always,” will usually stir up an antagonistic voice, and that may result in
decreasing your optimism! But there are other problems with affirmations
that may not be immediately apparent. One web site says the following about
affirmations:
The idea behind these techniques is pretty simple. Most of us grow up
learning to put ourselves down for any real or imagined error. We grow up
believing certain things about ourselves or comparing ourselves negatively
to others. The use of positive affirmations is a technique to change that
negative self-talk into something more positive.
The goal of having internal voices that are positive sounds very attractive.
However, if we examine this prescription a little closer, the idea of adding
positive affirmations presents a few problems. If we assume, as the quote
does, that most of us “grow up learning to put ourselves down for any real
or imagined error” what will happen when we introduce a new voice that is
positive and supportive? There will be inevitable conflict between these
opposite views. In addition, the old put-down voice is likely to redouble
its efforts to disagree with the supportive voice. That may result in our
putting ourselves down even more than we did before adding in an
affirmation.
According to Wikipedia, “For an affirmation to be effective, it needs to be
present tense, positive, personal and specific,” and another site offers the
following examples:
“I am healthy, happy, wise and free”
“I am surrounded by people who love me.”
These examples include the four criteria mentioned in wikipedia, but they
don’t quite match my reality.
Although “I am healthy, happy, wise and free” doesn’t have a universal “all”
in it, it is implied, and I don’t know of anyone who is always healthy,
happy, wise, or free. If I say this to myself when I am sick, sad, stupid,
or feeling stuck, that will contradict what I experience, and it won’t be
very useful.
How often is it true that you are surrounded by people who love you? You
might have several people around you at home who love you very much, but at
work or in the grocery store there are probably at least a few others who
are indifferent, and some others may even be antagonistic.
If an affirmation doesn’t fit with your reality, the part of you that keeps
track of reality will be aroused to question it, again defeating the purpose
of the affirmation. However, if we create internal voices that are a bit
more subtle in exactly what words they use, there are ways around this
difficulty.
--
"Don't Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you.
What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own
dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't
be the victim of needless suffering." --Miguel Angel Ruiz
Steve Andreas, NLP author, trainer, developer,-
(http://www.steveandreas.com) and art collector:
(http://www.charlespartridgeadams.com) 1221 Left Hand Canyon Dr. Boulder CO
80302 (303) 442-290
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