Social anxiety since being bullied at school - then attacked for being gay

Hi all,

Could anyone please offer me some advice on how best to proceed with this.

I have a new client who was severely bullied at scool for being overweight, and often for being 'gay' (it later turned out that he was in fact gay). Thus, he grew up with very little self-confidence. Then, in his teens he suffered severe M.E, which he cured with the help of diet and nutrition changes. However, during this period, he was pretty much house-bound for 7 years. On finally being able to leave the house and enjoy life again - he was attacked in the street because he's gay.

Now, this client dreams of going back into acting, which he always loved - but has very low confidence, and low opinion of himself. He also suffers anxiety attacks when out of the local vicinity - unless he has someone with him.

Any help appreciated.

Thanks,

Leighton

Tags: anxiety, bullied, confidence, gay

Favorite

0 members favorited this

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Leighton on August 31, 2010 at 12:59am

I should probably mention - he also has a major dislike of his own voice - instead preferring to 'put on' a different voice deliberately.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Pete & Lorraine on August 31, 2010 at 2:51am

Hi Leighton, I would get the subconscious to go to where it needs to go, to let go of the emtional ties to when he was bullied, I use regression, (you dont need him to be there maybe see it all happen on a screen), deal with the clients younger life then. get him to go back and get his younger self. say what needs to say to the bullies, cut away the negative emotional ties to that situation, then take him to a safe place where no none can harm him in any way perhaps a higher person, "god", himself, a trusted relative healing all his hurts. This should give him some self worth and clear some of his "expectation" of being attacked
Having dealt with his emotions work on his self esteem and confidence, this should help him accept his voice as is, it probably comes from that period of his life anyway. With improved confidence and self esteem, his body language will be that of a more positive and confident person and not that of a victim reducing his chances of being attacked.
If the voice isn't related to his troubles then it could be a bit of himself that he dosen't like, some don't like their nose or ears,being too tall or short etc. so deal with that as needs be.

Good luck

Pete

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on August 31, 2010 at 3:35am

Hello Leighton,

Imagine that you are a hypno-chef and I am sharing recipes for helping your client make peace with his past and move into his future with confidence.

Suggest a 4 to 6 session program-

Hint:
You pre-talk(s) set the stage for successful outcomes - It is essential that you are able to give your client a reason to believe that you can help him take charge of his life and career. Reframe his personal history from being a victim to being a surviver - Big difference! Point out that you admire his ability to take charge of his diet and nutrition and we can use that resource to help him take charge of his life and career. Tell him that you are in contact with 100s of the most effective hypnosis practitioners in the world and you are confident that as soon as he recognizes that survival is not enough, he will be ready to follow his heart and thrive based on your and their professional experiences

Note: there are many effective ways to help your client -I am suggesting guiding him through and Ellner/Barsky Emotional Detox and teaching him how to do it for himself because it is so easy to learn, teach and use. Hint:
In terms of the toxic emotions and feelings you want him to release start with the immediate and work backwards
Create a safe place - and have him get in touch with how he feels about the anxiety that is holding him back and anchor it/break state/have him get in touch with times he experienced or imagine experiencing a HAPPY HEART, PEACEFUL MIND AND PLAYFUL SPIRIT.. anchor that/Break state/Fire both anchors at the same time/Give him suggestions that the healing is starting - Suggest that he will he feel lighter and brighter and experience a sense of relief which is a good thing because he deserves to feel good and and enjoy life...Blah, blah, blah... Future work should involve feelings and emotions without remembering the experiences that they are associated with... In other words - have him get in touch with any and all feelings and emotions that are bothering him or holding him back in any way shape or form and detox those feelings and emotions. Install a post hypnotic cue that enables him to feel peaceful, easy and secure on demand... This will help him go out into the world without anxiety and is available when ever he wants to feel peaceful, easy and secure... Suggest his voice will change to reflect the new and improved person that he is becoming....

Homework: Recommend he detox first thing in the morning and last thing before bed with the suggestion that doing so will automatically build his conference and self-esteem.
You can model the detox here:
YouTube - Self-Hypnosis for Self-Confidence
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7xp-hacrwo

Consider me a resource.

Michael E.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Leighton on September 1, 2010 at 11:46am

Great!

As usual, some great advice! Thanks Peter, Lorraine and Michael. The video is great too Michael.

Will take it all into account, and post back here soon :-)

Leighton

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Mohammed Magsi on September 1, 2010 at 6:36pm

Hi Leighton,

In these kind of cases, I usually book several sessions. I would either do these sessions separately or mix'em depending on how well the client responds:

- Relaxation
- Anxiety
- Self confidence
- Phobia cure kind of therapy for bullies and his attack

I hope this is what you were looking for.

Mohammed

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Leighton on September 8, 2010 at 12:50am

That's great Mohammed - thanks. I did a 'rewind' type session to start with, to remove / resolve the negative feelings he had towards the bullies / attackers. We've been working lots on relaxation, and this week I did some work on building confidence and achieving goals.

Michael has given some fantastic tips re reframes, metaphors, and anchoring etc - so have been and will continue to integrate that.

The client has been responding amazingly well - a constant, recurring nightmare that he's had for almost a year has stopped; for the first time in years, he asserted himself appropriately in his work environment - standing up to someone who'd made a mess of his efforts; he's also, interestingly, developed a spontaneous passion for reading and learning!

The stuff about self-concept is fab, Jay. I've printed out several of those articles and have been reading avidly - thanks for that.

I'll keep on as I have been - it's getting results!