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Unusual Request From Potential Clients Requesting To Achieve Submissive Role To Obey Their Partner!
Grettings!
I am starting this discussion that someone else started but failed to respond back because it seems that it was more about her personal needs or business development, so here I would like to have an intelligent discussion with opinion and view's, without judgment or accusations so every one can participate freely.
So the question will be almost the same with some changes, have anyone noticed how some male or female clients have fantasy of submitting themselves to their partner?
Every year I have potential clients calling me and requesting the help of hypnosis to achieve submission to obey their partner or to Improve their imagination only with the idea of playing the submissive role in the relationship.
In my opinion, some of those request are legit, and I am talking about clients who wanted to advance their romance and role play, and my question is, (hoping I will get some psychological views about it.) Although some request were not something I wish to help and they were the ones who asked me to humiliate them during hypnosis, wondering, what kind of experience, idea or view do you have about this kind of behavior or request?
Now, I know some will take clients with this request, that's their choice, Instead, I will take the one who wants to add a little spice into their romance being creative, but I wouldn't take a client who wants me to humiliate them during my sessions or make them to obey me, I find it unethical and maybe even too personal preferences which is not part of hypnotherapy at all.
And the one that is not therapeutic is what another person was doing when they started an earlier discussion to attract some attention to their business, and that was of course trying to use the idea of hypnosis, so to me it looked more like a sexual business nothing less then those 900 Hot Lines...
Does any other male or female hypnotists received such requests?
What do you think of it?
What do you tell potential clients?
I personally know people like this, who didn't ask for my help, I just know that this is their preference in relationship. That also brings my back to my old question: and I am not talking about clients who want to be hypnotized or clients who come for help, I am asking this in general, why many guys and I could be wrong, but from what i have herd many man are into being dominated by a strong minded woman, when their role is to be the submissive one, I am asking because I want to understand their needs to why? I guess I am Curious to the why factor?
Also for the ones who disagree to this discussion and think that some of us may not have a common sense, understand that it is not your job to fix the world, you can help improving it with some great ideas and advice, and that is why private messages are used for :)
And If you still want the others to learn from it, then be my guest, just remember no name calling, no rudeness, of course in the end you will do what you feel is right, I am only suggesting what is more respectful and at the same time educational, the rest is up to you people, and I hope I have answered some of the questions regarding this discussion.
Respectfully Doreen Cohanim C.,Ht
Tags: enhance, erotica, for, hypnosis, hypnotic, play, request, role, submission, to, More…
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by John Cleesattel on -
Doreen,
One might ask "why do people like the color yellow?" or "why do some people like hot peppers and some don't?"
As one who is fairly familiar with dealing with the female side of the submissive coin, as well as the requests I get on the recreational side of hypnosis, I know that even these people don't know why they like it, they just do.
In some people, its more than a like or dislike, it is an actual need. They aren't happy unless they are in service to someone. It's not something from their past, for the past of each is extremely varied. It is just who they are, and who they want to be.
It took me a long time to understand this about them myself. I kept thinking that maybe I could help "fix" them. They don't want to be fixed, most of them actually consider the rest of us as the ones who are lost...because we don't know what we want. They consider themselves the lucky ones, because they know how to find happiness and we don't.
We are geared as a species to serve. We judge others on how good of a service they provide. We gas up at service stations, or serve in the armed forces. When we are paid for serving someone else, they call it a job.
We want recognition for the good service that we provide. We feel good when we know our service has been appreciated or helpful. Everything we do is based around serving in some form or other, even if someone served up a excuse, that ended up being self-serving.
So if this capacity to serve has been amplified in some people to become a need, just as painters need to paint or musicians need to play, then they cannot be happy unless they are serving.
This can be construed as an overdeveloped nurturing instinct, or perhaps a protective instinct. The epitome of a male servant for some is the Knight in Shining Armor. Forever serving and protecting their lady fair.
So as far as the "why" factor that your are curious about, these are just a few reasons.
I hope I said this in an understandable manner
John
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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on -
Wow John, Thanks a lot, I agree with all you said and It totally make sense to me.
I personally don't believe in fixing anyone who are not broken or that they don't think they need to be fixed, but I do think and It's only my personal opinion that for some people this kind of behavior or need is like an addiction to satisfy something that is missing in their life, same like with drugs, extream body art, over eating etc...
Of course we have to separate between life style preference and addiction, and all I am saying that it is possible, what do you think?
Doreen Cohanim C.Ht
www.HypnoCruise.com
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Permalink Reply by John Cleesattel on
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I'm sure that no one has ever been, or dealt with, submissiveness other than you.
Cari Marletta said:I read what was written about peopple wanting to go undergo hypnosis to suggest they be submissive. STOP RIGHT THERE. This is something you should not play with in any way in any fashion. Being a submissive is a deep far reaching state of mind. It goes deeper than a normal relationship because it breaks all acceptable preconditions of a normal relationship. It can take years to explain to people, but basically there are many who wish to be a submissive and it is as equal to being gay no one asks to be gay that is what they are as with a submissive. It is born within you and you can "play" being one practice being one and you will never achieve the deep gratification that can be achieved. I am a true submissive and worked with those who need help but I never encourage someone to be what they are not and doing anything suggestive in hypnosis in my opinion can damage a persons psyche. This is not something to toy with and should be avoided at all costs.
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Permalink Reply by Michael on -
Cari M - maybe I don't know what a "true" submissive is, but does anyone except the person themself? I would think that we are talking about submissive being a set of behaviors or even an identity and as such is constructed by the individual.
To answer Doreen's original questions of: what do you think of it? what do you tell potential clients?
I think that every person has the ability and right to explore their sexuality organically and freely. As hypnosis is not mind control, it can not make you do what you do not want. I have to wonder if the person is asking to be hypnotized to overcome inhibitions or feel more comfortable in a role because they want to, or because they want to for someone else. Hypnosis is used to aid people with confidence for dating, self esteem and erectile dysfunction, that said however, each of those things is an internally regulated phenomenon. With submission, there must be an external part. The person is not just submissive, but submissive to something. I have to wonder "what happens if the relationship ends?" Do the suggestions we have given the client still serve the greatest good of the client as an individual in that case? Maybe, maybe not. For me, the addition of an external influence on the client, and one around which the suggestions are dependent, is a cautionary marker. I would encourage the person to talk with their partner, and not take on such a client.
Michael Bueti
www.theintegratedperson.com
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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on
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Dear Mr. Cari Marletta,
WHY STOP IT RIGHT THERE?
Why is it something we should not play with?
Who said, being a submissive is a deep far reaching state of mind?
Who said it breaks all acceptable preconditions of a normal relationship?
Why being or wishing to be submissive is as equal to being gay?
How do you know that people who like to be submissive are born with it, I mean are you telling me it is genetic, Is it in the DNA?
With all due respect to your openness about being a true submissive, why is it a bad thing to work with?
Are you telling me just because you are submissive no one else need to experience that in a role play?
I am so sorry, but I am confused. can you please explain why in your opinion helping someone with their fantasy can damage a persons psyche?
Trust me, I have a year to hear your explanation, and please do...
Respectfully, Doreen Cohanim C.Ht
www.HypnoCruise.com
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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on
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Excellent Michael Bueti,
I agree with what you suggested, I also believe that role play need to be discuses between partners, and one case that I had while back, client came to me with a request to be in touch with his feminine side, from our sessions I have learned that he was a cross dresser also happened to be married and wife did agree to role play once in a while if he acted submissive, so I did helped him to be in touch with his feminine side, not only it saved their marriage, they learn to explore other thinks the husband wasn't open to it, In the end I was tolled that I have helped saving their marriage while the marriage consular was advising the two to get a divorce.
So In my opinion If this is what the client wants and it is not harmful, why not helping the client?
Doreen Cohanim C.Ht
www.EnterYourMind.com
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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on
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Wow Ian, This is the first time ever that I have enjoyed reading your email :) and I am glad that you were able to help your client, what a story, I have chills in my body, which reminds me a guy I have dated who was trying to introduced me into the world of sado-masochism, telling me that I don't know what is it like and that he is confident that I will love it, that was the last conversation I have ever had with him, I tolled him thanks but no thanks, not my cup of coffee.
Now, when I am talking about submissive, I am actually talking about guys or women who like their partner to tell them what to do, and not necessarily during love making, although most of them are interested to be submissive during love making.
Respectfully, Doreen Cohanim C.Ht
www.HypnoCruise.com
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Permalink Reply by Aino / Akpolarmom on -
Hi Cari,
Maybe you have an opportunity to explain the issues around the submissive role, and what we should know to deal with clients who are in that situation.... I would think it could be of value for many of us who may come across the issue in therapy, whether it is clients wanting to stop the behavior or wanting to intensify the roll. I must say I have no inkling in the area, of what drives people in the area of sexual games...lol.. nor do I have an interest in exploring it; but I have also been approached by clients in the submissive role with wishes to intensify their experiences, when they were with their 'mistress?' The request was specifically to strengthen certain hypnotically set anchors they used within their role playing, NOT for acting as the 'mistress' or in any way participate in the role playing... . So please enlighten us, that we may understand more and be of better service upon such request.
My friend Doreen...
Chill out a bit... Take a deep breath and let Cari explain, you sound really excited... lol.
Always Looking for More Tools........
Aino
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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on
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Hello Dear Friend Aino,
I am chilled, no need to remind me :) and I always take a deep breath, and that is why I have asked all the questions I have asked from Cari to explain, so If you join my excitement, I am sure we both will enjoy it :)
Respectfully, Doreen Cohanim C.Ht
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Permalink Reply by Jonathan Chase on -
Doreen,
I think it's a viable and quite ethical service to offer.
I would tell potential clients that there must be either a friend of theirs present or a colleague or employee of mine.
I once did a talk on enhancing the experience of role play at an Alternative Lifestyle club in London and enjoyed the enthusiasm, openness and exuberance of the people there immensely even though it isn't my personal preference and would happily do so again.
As for not offering that service, well that's a personal call however it would be the right thing to do in my book to know someone who can, or perhaps recommend a website. If for no other reason than for developing a relationship with a client that could lead to referral, people like people who help them.
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Permalink Reply by Doreen Cohanim C.Ht on
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Thank you Johnathan, I appreciate you being open minded, I have to agree that I will do the same as well, to a point that I am comfortable pother wise referral works wonders for some people :).
Doreen Cohanim C.Ht
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Permalink Reply by John Cleesattel on
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Forgive me if you felt I was snide, I was just needed to establish the point that there are as many different types of submissives as there are flowers in a field, and there are some who are well versed in interacting with and understanding the mindset.
John
Cari Marletta said:I will not assume this is a snide response to comment, but i don't know all about hypnosis like many have no clue what a true submissive is its all in the point of view and we are entitled to it.
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