Very deep depression

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Kathleen Hanover on May 7, 2010 at 2:01pm

Dominique,

Please take advantage of the advice that Scott and Kevin in particular have offered you. As someone who years ago was in the same position as your client, I have to tell you that what you did was potentially extremely dangerous and could have been life-threatening.

Unless you've been there, it's really hard to understand how depression warps your perceptions and strips you of the ability to deal with even the smallest (to a non-depressed person) setbacks. At first, it may literally be impossible for her to recall or experience a positive emotional state or imagine a positive future. (Again, unless you've been there it's hard to understand just how impossible this request could seem to your client.)

If she doesn't have the physical energy or emotional capacity do to simple everyday tasks (very common in the profoundly depressed), it's not fair or realistic to expect her to be able to tolerate a process that puts her right back into the middle of the worst feelings she's ever had. That's just kicking someone when they're down and need help the most.

Build up her resources first! At least give her a life vest before you shove her off the end of the pier! Hell, give her every imaginable flotation device, some swim fins, scuba gear and a submarine! She needs every tool she can get to keep the depression from drowning her.

Good luck to both of you.

Kathleen

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Permalink Reply by Scott Sandland on May 7, 2010 at 2:08pm

Hi Dominique-

I respect your intentions, as I'm sure others do as well.

I want to strongly encourage you to re-evaluate your position on the psychologists. If she has already told you she has made an attempt to end her life those medications may be the cause of the problem or the solution that has kept her alive. There is no way for you to know which is true. It's not up to you to decide if they have worked because you don't know what the psychologist was doing with them. We also don't know which medications they have tried, and that doesn't mean every psych she could possibly see would do what the people in the past have done. Now is not the time for you to remove her options.

If she has told you she has attempted suicide then she needs to work with someone who already has the answer and experience in this area. Our job is to help people, and the best help you can do is to help this woman find a hypnotist, psychologist, counselor, or something that has seen this kind of thing before and can help her.

I know you want to help her, and I can tell you are sincere in that desire. The right thing to do here is to refer her to someone else that SHE can trust. This woman should be under the care of someone who can help her and her husband. It takes a great practitioner to ignore their ego and to be honest about what they can and can't do.

If she were my client I would refer her out. I would make sure she was seeing someone with a history of working with suicidally depressed people. I recommend you help her find someone as soon as possible. In the meantime, only work with her in positive, encouraging, happy directions. No regressions, no enhancing tough emotions, no facing fears or dragging things up. Keep it light and happy until you can hand her off to someone with more experience.

Please understand this is in no way a reflection of you or what I think about you or your skills as a practitioner. I would give this advice to 99% of hypnotists out there. This is not the time for you to learn. Referring her to someone with the proper experience is the best thing you can do for her.

Respectfully,
Scott

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Permalink Reply by Dominique Vankrunkelsven on May 7, 2010 at 2:09pm

Kevin,

Yes my answers are maybe difficult to understand, here in Belgium we speak dutch or french and I try to give the best of my english.....

I want to help this women, how long it will take is not important to me, the only thing that I want is that the begin of what I'm going to do will be effective so she can feel some good evolution and believe that I can help her and yes I want to do what you tell me to do, in the first place i don not have any choices because all I tried to do has failed.

Thank you,
Dominique

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Permalink Reply by Dominique Vankrunkelsven on May 7, 2010 at 2:22pm

Hi Scott,

What you are telling me is what I tried to tell her today, I tried to refer her to the only good hypnotherapist that I know here in belgium, maybe there are others but I can't find others.

Her answer was today that she believe in me and that she will not go to someone else, she told me that the day that we did the first session, she feels not good and very depressed but now three days further she feels much better and inform me that when we do the therapy and speaks to her father she did it with very much fears but in the normal life she never did it, it was like a big wheight going off her shoulders, because of this she believe in me, bet believe me I will not try this anymore.

I can also formward her mail that she send this evening asking me to help her....

I will really try what kevin wants to do, if I let her like this, I think it will be a catastrophe.

best regards,
dominique

Scott Sandland, C.Ht. said:

Hi Dominique-

I respect your intentions, as I'm sure others do as well.

I want to strongly encourage you to re-evaluate your position on the psychologists. If she has already told you she has made an attempt to end her life those medications may be the cause of the problem or the solution that has kept her alive. There is no way for you to know which is true. It's not up to you to decide if they have worked because you don't know what the psychologist was doing with them. We also don't know which medications they have tried, and that doesn't mean every psych she could possibly see would do what the people in the past have done. Now is not the time for you to remove her options.

If she has told you she has attempted suicide then she needs to work with someone who already has the answer and experience in this area. Our job is to help people, and the best help you can do is to help this woman find a hypnotist, psychologist, counselor, or something that has seen this kind of thing before and can help her.

I know you want to help her, and I can tell you are sincere in that desire. The right thing to do here is to refer her to someone else that SHE can trust. This woman should be under the care of someone who can help her and her husband. It takes a great practitioner to ignore their ego and to be honest about what they can and can't do.

If she were my client I would refer her out. I would make sure she was seeing someone with a history of working with suicidally depressed people. I recommend you help her find someone as soon as possible. In the meantime, only work with her in positive, encouraging, happy directions. No regressions, no enhancing tough emotions, no facing fears or dragging things up. Keep it light and happy until you can hand her off to someone with more experience.

Please understand this is in no way a reflection of you or what I think about you or your skills as a practitioner. I would give this advice to 99% of hypnotists out there. This is not the time for you to learn. Referring her to someone with the proper experience is the best thing you can do for her.

Respectfully,
Scott

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Permalink Reply by Kathleen Hanover on May 7, 2010 at 2:26pm

NO!!!

Dominique, ALL THAT HAS BEEN TRIED (by you and everyone else) HAS BEEN A SUCCESS BECAUSE SHE IS STILL ALIVE!

Please, please listen to Scott and refer this poor woman somewhere else. It is no reflection on you, but based on what you've said, you honestly do not understand what you're dealing with here.

Metaphor: You're trying to teach her Argentine Tango when she can't even walk because both her legs are broken and in danger of being amputated!! First, keep her alive long enough for her legs to heal. Then, help her learn to stand up. Then learn to walk again, and then run. THEN teach her how to dance. Talk about tango in the mean time, of course, so she has something to look forward to, but first you have to focus on keeping her alive and whole! (I hope this metaphor makes sense in Dutch.)

And unfortunately, you may not be the person best equipped to do that for her. It takes a strong and confident man to admit that, if it's true. I just hope that you don't end up looking back, after a tragedy, and realizing that you made your ego more important than someone's life.

No one here is trying to beat you up. We just want success for both you and your client, and in this case, success may mean stepping away.

Dominique Vankrunkelsven said:

Kevin,
i don not have any choices because all I tried to do has failed.

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Permalink Reply by Kevin Cole-NLPTrainingQuest.com on May 7, 2010 at 2:48pm

Dominique-

Let me respond further to this later tonight. I've been fortunate enough to have a bit of a "working vacation" this week and have the time to do so...

In the meantime, I agree whole heatedly with Scott in regards to referring this client out to someone who specializes in this area, if that option exists.

It sounds as though she did benefit from some of the forgiveness work you did with her & her father. Definitely not the safest route to go with it and probably the most dangerous but I think it's fair to say you realize that now. At least I sincerely hope you do...

Referring her to another Hypnotherapist may not be the best answer either. You've gained her trust and that's a good thing. Working WITH her medical doctor and any other therapists she has could be the best option, if finding someone that specializes in this area (and has the track record to prove it) is unavailable. But seek and usually, you will find...

As far as her being "suicidal", you haven't stated that, so I'm not going to presuppose it. But please do inform us if that is the case as the more we know, the more we can help you do what's best for your client.

Finally, for now (until I can write more later), if you do not already have a referral from her medical doctor... GET ONE IMMEDIATELY and work closely with him/her while making some calls to see if you can find someone more equipped to help your client in the way that is best for her.

As Scott & Kathleen stated, referring a client out to someone more experienced is always the most admirable thing to do. I've done it and at times, and continue to do it. It's always about our clients, never our egos...

More later...

Kevin

Live NLP, Life Coach & Hypnosis Training Certification

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Permalink Reply by Dominique Vankrunkelsven on May 7, 2010 at 3:17pm

Hello everybody,

To answer the question of Kevin, yes she is suicidal the last time she tried to is one week after they give here more medication and yes I have a refferal from her medical doctor. she tried 4 times the last 3 years to make an end on her life.

I'm happy to have people here who will help me a lot, I also realize that reffering to other specialists is the best thing to do, that's also what I tried to do today, when she told me that she trust me and that I can help her, the first question that I asked myself is "What will happen to her if I tell that it's the best thing for her to follow my advise" because i'm sure she will not do that.

Then my second question is: is it better to tell her that I can't help her and that it's better that she go to a specialist or is it better to never tell her that and help the best way I can?

For me it's a good begin that she believe in me and what i'm doing......

This is the last mail because here in belgium its 2 AM I go to my bed, tomorrow is an other day and I know that I have to make a decision about this but if you can stay in her place, how will you react if you feel that someone where you believe in reffers you to an other person and that's not what you want?

Best regards,
Dominique

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Permalink Reply by Dominique Vankrunkelsven on May 7, 2010 at 3:33pm

Hi Kathleen,

Yes you are right, she is still alive but the fact that she do the step to make an end of her life, for me it's a fail and I can understand what she feel when she try to because me too I prefer to be dead then feel what she feel and believe me, when I try the aggressive way like I learned it, I really feel her fear.


Kathleen, do not understand me in the wrong way, I understand what you are triing to tell me but for me it's like a person in the hospital who they try to get the person alive but when you turn the machines off, the person will die, for us and the professional people in the hospital it's clinical not a fail but for that person believe me it's a big fail and in this case I want to do something to have results, not to think that it's ok because she is alive, because nobdy will never know when she will try again to end her life.....

Best regards,
Dominique

PS: it's now 2:30AM here and I receive in the middle of the night a SMS to ask me for the next appointment and please don't let me alone.....

Kathleen Hanover said:

NO!!!

Dominique, ALL THAT HAS BEEN TRIED (by you and everyone else) HAS BEEN A SUCCESS BECAUSE SHE IS STILL ALIVE!

Please, please listen to Scott and refer this poor woman somewhere else. It is no reflection on you, but based on what you've said, you honestly do not understand what you're dealing with here.

Metaphor: You're trying to teach her Argentine Tango when she can't even walk because both her legs are broken and in danger of being amputated!! First, keep her alive long enough for her legs to heal. Then, help her learn to stand up. Then learn to walk again, and then run. THEN teach her how to dance. Talk about tango in the mean time, of course, so she has something to look forward to, but first you have to focus on keeping her alive and whole! (I hope this metaphor makes sense in Dutch.)

And unfortunately, you may not be the person best equipped to do that for her. It takes a strong and confident man to admit that, if it's true. I just hope that you don't end up looking back, after a tragedy, and realizing that you made your ego more important than someone's life.

No one here is trying to beat you up. We just want success for both you and your client, and in this case, success may mean stepping away.

Dominique Vankrunkelsven said:

Kevin,
i don not have any choices because all I tried to do has failed.

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Permalink Reply by Lee Pelletier on May 8, 2010 at 3:02am

Dominique....

Nearly every responder has rightly pointed out the professional responsibility we all have to stay within our "scope of practice." That is very valuable advice which you are heeding and which all those growing in the art of hypnotism will benefit.

One of the reasons that medications and the other techniques have worked, but only to a point, is that each person's individual experience of depression is unique to them. That is why I speak of depressions (plural) rather than just depression. Sometimes the depression is more organic than psychological which is why I hope her physician team has done a full work-up on her. Sometimes anti-depressants can make it possible to work in areas that had been out of reach previously. Your use of different regressive techniques, Gestalt and Parts Therapy are all valid approaches. You may have been on to something in the regression process as she was re-experiencing the time around 19 years you instructed her to "be her father" and she said "I can't 'be my father." As you grow in your comfort with abreactions you will be able to use what the client gives you more effectively. Perhaps Milton Erickson would have said "That's right, of course you can't be your father." Then he would have said something to the effect of "but if you could be your father what would he say in this situation?" When she said that she may have been trying to guide your work with her, or her subconscious may have been blocking her. Erickson's approach to that has been called "utilizing the resistance."

Depressions are multifaceted. They have many causes and triggers. Sometimes anti-depressants, on their own, with out hypnosis or talk therapy can create other problems for clients. Sometimes issues leading to depressions must be dealt with or you will have a person who may feel good on anti-depressants, or at least better, but feel like something is wrong, nonetheless.

Depressions, like so many maladies that our clients bring to us, often have secondary gain elements that must be dealt with. Parts work has been most successful for me in addressing secondary gain. Others will tell you not to underestimate the power of secondary gain in various behaviors.

Depressions often have a biochemical element. The body produces certain hormones and neurotransmitters in response to certain activities or thought processes.

In his book "Tranceformation" Richard Bandler talks about neuro-pathways coming to be somewhat like ruts in the brain (thought processes) that can run quite deep. He suggests the development of new pathways by purposefully developing new thought patterns. That is what some of your responders were getting at when they properly suggested creating a positive mental environment. You were rightly advised to build in positive experiences as a resource on which to draw in order to offset the depressive ideation. The trouble with developing those positive resources is that it takes time, particularly with a deeply depressed person. Yet the deeply depressed person may have taken a similar amount of time and effort to develop the depressive ideas and patterns.

Perhaps you can regress her to a positive and happy time. Sometimes depressions lead to thoughts that there were no positive or happy times. You would then want her to imagine a positive or happy time. As she does that, have her imagine what it would feel like to feel good. Let her tell you what her life would be like without the depression. Perhaps you could even age-progress her in a session to a time when her depression is gone from her life. If she resists that direct an approach, then have her imagine a time when she is experiencing joy and pleasure and ask her what that is like for her, and note the Visual, Auditory and Kinestetic elements. As she lays these possibilities before you, each becomes a hypnotic suggestion or series of suggestions you can use in helping her overcome her less useful ideation.

In his work on Pain Management, Ron Eslinger guides his clients and then his readers and students away from using the word "pain" after the first session, replacing it with levels of comfort and discomfort. It would most certainly be useful to follow a similar process with depression clients, altering language patterns so that perhaps displeasure replaces depression. Of course we want to replace displeasure with pleasure, so the client can then focus on what thoughts of mind bring her pleasure.

Og Mandino wrote several important self-help books. Perhaps chief among them was "The Greatest Salesman in the World." In that book, Mandino tells readers that the only way to overcome a bad habit is to replace it with a good habit and to become a slave to that habit. (Scroll one). Depressive thinking must be replaced with useful thinking. Developing a habit of thinking useful thoughts takes repetition. It also takes inventiveness. What useful thoughts will she want to think? With what new internal representation will she want to replace the representation of herself as perpetually depressed and her world as without purpose?

As simplistic as it might sound, look for small successes and bring her focus on that. Depressive thinking is often perfectionistic. That may mean that she could do very well and training her mind toward more useful ideation, but fall short once or twice and consider herself to have failed. She failed because her focus comes back to the times she fell short while you as her helping professional want her to focus on all of the successes. Similar thought processes bring weight control clients down.

These are some simple ideas. They are not meant to sound simplistic, however. Overcoming depressions is very often a team effort. No one tool works in isolation from all others. I am sure you are working closely with her medical team. Nothing is meant to suggest that "you are wrong" in any of your approaches. These are meant simply to add to what you are already doing. You must be doing something right if she feels so drawn to working with you. At this point I do not advise referring her out as she may take that as personal rejection and further failure. If you can bring others in on the work, though, that could be beneficial. Remember, as Kathleen has said, you and your colleagues are successful because she is still alive. Milton Erickson was famous for his "Rapid Therapy." That rapidity was not rapid by 21st century standards. It can take many many sessions to get a handle on depressions. Give yourself time and grace and make sure you attend to self-care and receive the positive reinforcement you need to remain encouraged and upbeat.

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Permalink Reply by Dominique Vankrunkelsven on May 8, 2010 at 6:40am

Hi Lee,

Thank you for this help, I can find things in it that match with my way to work on problems and I will keep you informed about the progress, my next appointment with her is in thursday morning.

thanks again,

Dominique


Lee Pelletier said:

Dominique....

Nearly every responder has rightly pointed out the professional responsibility we all have to stay within our "scope of practice." That is very valuable advice which you are heeding and which all those growing in the art of hypnotism will benefit.

One of the reasons that medications and the other techniques have worked, but only to a point, is that each person's individual experience of depression is unique to them. That is why I speak of depressions (plural) rather than just depression. Sometimes the depression is more organic than psychological which is why I hope her physician team has done a full work-up on her. Sometimes anti-depressants can make it possible to work in areas that had been out of reach previously. Your use of different regressive techniques, Gestalt and Parts Therapy are all valid approaches. You may have been on to something in the regression process as she was re-experiencing the time around 19 years you instructed her to "be her father" and she said "I can't 'be my father." As you grow in your comfort with abreactions you will be able to use what the client gives you more effectively. Perhaps Milton Erickson would have said "That's right, of course you can't be your father." Then he would have said something to the effect of "but if you could be your father what would he say in this situation?" When she said that she may have been trying to guide your work with her, or her subconscious may have been blocking her. Erickson's approach to that has been called "utilizing the resistance."

Depressions are multifaceted. They have many causes and triggers. Sometimes anti-depressants, on their own, with out hypnosis or talk therapy can create other problems for clients. Sometimes issues leading to depressions must be dealt with or you will have a person who may feel good on anti-depressants, or at least better, but feel like something is wrong, nonetheless.

Depressions, like so many maladies that our clients bring to us, often have secondary gain elements that must be dealt with. Parts work has been most successful for me in addressing secondary gain. Others will tell you not to underestimate the power of secondary gain in various behaviors.

Depressions often have a biochemical element. The body produces certain hormones and neurotransmitters in response to certain activities or thought processes.

In his book "Tranceformation" Richard Bandler talks about neuro-pathways coming to be somewhat like ruts in the brain (thought processes) that can run quite deep. He suggests the development of new pathways by purposefully developing new thought patterns. That is what some of your responders were getting at when they properly suggested creating a positive mental environment. You were rightly advised to build in positive experiences as a resource on which to draw in order to offset the depressive ideation. The trouble with developing those positive resources is that it takes time, particularly with a deeply depressed person. Yet the deeply depressed person may have taken a similar amount of time and effort to develop the depressive ideas and patterns.

Perhaps you can regress her to a positive and happy time. Sometimes depressions lead to thoughts that there were no positive or happy times. You would then want her to imagine a positive or happy time. As she does that, have her imagine what it would feel like to feel good. Let her tell you what her life would be like without the depression. Perhaps you could even age-progress her in a session to a time when her depression is gone from her life. If she resists that direct an approach, then have her imagine a time when she is experiencing joy and pleasure and ask her what that is like for her, and note the Visual, Auditory and Kinestetic elements. As she lays these possibilities before you, each becomes a hypnotic suggestion or series of suggestions you can use in helping her overcome her less useful ideation.

In his work on Pain Management, Ron Eslinger guides his clients and then his readers and students away from using the word "pain" after the first session, replacing it with levels of comfort and discomfort. It would most certainly be useful to follow a similar process with depression clients, altering language patterns so that perhaps displeasure replaces depression. Of course we want to replace displeasure with pleasure, so the client can then focus on what thoughts of mind bring her pleasure.

Og Mandino wrote several important self-help books. Perhaps chief among them was "The Greatest Salesman in the World." In that book, Mandino tells readers that the only way to overcome a bad habit is to replace it with a good habit and to become a slave to that habit. (Scroll one). Depressive thinking must be replaced with useful thinking. Developing a habit of thinking useful thoughts takes repetition. It also takes inventiveness. What useful thoughts will she want to think? With what new internal representation will she want to replace the representation of herself as perpetually depressed and her world as without purpose?

As simplistic as it might sound, look for small successes and bring her focus on that. Depressive thinking is often perfectionistic. That may mean that she could do very well and training her mind toward more useful ideation, but fall short once or twice and consider herself to have failed. She failed because her focus comes back to the times she fell short while you as her helping professional want her to focus on all of the successes. Similar thought processes bring weight control clients down.

These are some simple ideas. They are not meant to sound simplistic, however. Overcoming depressions is very often a team effort. No one tool works in isolation from all others. I am sure you are working closely with her medical team. Nothing is meant to suggest that "you are wrong" in any of your approaches. These are meant simply to add to what you are already doing. You must be doing something right if she feels so drawn to working with you. At this point I do not advise referring her out as she may take that as personal rejection and further failure. If you can bring others in on the work, though, that could be beneficial. Remember, as Kathleen has said, you and your colleagues are successful because she is still alive. Milton Erickson was famous for his "Rapid Therapy." That rapidity was not rapid by 21st century standards. It can take many many sessions to get a handle on depressions. Give yourself time and grace and make sure you attend to self-care and receive the positive reinforcement you need to remain encouraged and upbeat.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Antoine Pruyssers on May 8, 2010 at 9:07am

The problem of Depressions is the downward spiral, of negative thinking, and the influence of that on the internal representation. The filters through which the information from the "outside" comes through are cluttered with so much negativity, that HOPE is entirely smothered.
The drugs called anti-depressiva, usually don't do a lot of good, considering that it takes away one's energy and motivation, makes someone more compliant, what may be nice for a session with a psychiatrist, but in the long run INCREASES depression, and these drugs are an anker, to NOT-feel depressed, instead of feeling GOOD.

My opinion is: Stay away from the cause, and focus on outcome!
Intensify feelings of hope, gratitude, love and utter pleasure, and make it a process, instead of a goal!

Nothing in your client's past will help against the depression, it is by giving them something to live towards, that will get them to get up and enjoy life.

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Permalink Reply by Kevin Cole-NLPTrainingQuest.com on May 8, 2010 at 11:20am

OK, Dom-

Before I begin, as I think everyone has mentioned at least once, I do highly recommend seeking out someone with greater experience in this arena. Until then, it sounds as though you have established a great deal of trust with your client and that goes a very long way. You believe in her and that alone can do more for her than anything I'm about to mention. But take what I share with you below very seriously. I've helped hundreds with what I share with you below...

Now let me share with you how to SAFELY address this issue in the modern world and do it in a way that allows your client to experience as much PLEASURE and as little pain as possible.

1rst. Has anyone addressed this woman's diet at all? I can't tell you how many times I've seen the deepest of depressions completely lift because of changes in diet. There are also many foods clinically proven to help lift depression naturally including but not limited to fish (Omega 3's), bananas, oranges, and just about any green leafy vegetables.

2cnd. Has anyone addressed this woman's daily exercise routine? Is she getting enough (or any) exercise? Is she getting too much exercise?

3rd. How much is she getting outside, in the sun?

Be certain she checks with her doctor before making any changes in her diet and exercise routine but those 3 factors alone play a HUGE role.

Now, how can you give her an IMMEDIATE experience of feeling better?

Step one: Have her SMILE! And I mean SMILE BIG!! And I mean often!!! It has been clinically proven that just the act of smiling (even when forced) naturally releases serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins (which are natural pain killers by the way), and even a small degree of oxytosin (the "love drug" our brain produces).

If you’re curious, you can do some research on Dr. Paul Ekman http://www.paulekman.com/ and discover his theories on facial expressions and the effect it has on our brain He’s currently doing a lot of research on facial expressions and lie detecting but you’ll find that years ago he played a key role in an experiment done at U.C. Berkeley where they did a study on the effects of simply having individuals with clinical depression Smile on/off for a number of hours a day and to them, at the time, their results were astonishing as every one of the patients were able to feel considerably better and most were able to go off of their medication. (Make sure your client STAYS on her medication while working closely with her doctor)

Now here's the thing... She may/may not feel like smiling and that's OK. In the words of Erickson... Go there first!
I strongly suggest having a playful attitude when working with depressed people. Don't get me wrong, it's serious business when you're working with a client that has attempted to end her own life 4 times, but I find time and time again people act way too 'serious' around people with depression. It's kind of like trying to wake someone from a coma by whispering at them. It just doesn't make sense!

Be professional and... Have a sense of humor (while maintaining rapport) with her.

Now, when you have her smile… I suggest you show her first by example and have her smile ear to ear (to the point of feeling a little soreness in her cheeks and having all teeth showing. Also while doing this, have her expand her arms fully out (make sure she doesn’t have any neck or back issues and to make sure it’s comfortable for her) and stair straight up at the ceiling.

I do this with EVERY depressed client that comes through my door and to date, every time, they have been pleasantly surprised because it now helps them realize that they have a conscious choice in how they feel.

**Note, as your client is heavily medicated, you will need to work with this a bit but stay with it. She will feel the difference, it'll probably take a little more work but she will feel empowered by it, if you stay with it. I have been able to help individuals with Aspergers (who have tremendous challenges getting in touch with their feelings) start to get those “happy chemicals” flowing from this simple exercise. It works… When you use it and are patient with it...

Step Two: Realize that depressed people are Stuck in their feeling. "No kidding, Kevin... I knew that..."...

Yes, but what you may or may not know is what causes it and how to help them break that addictive loop. And YES, it becomes an addiction in many ways.

You see, when we look down (usually down and to the right), this is the way our brain processes feelings the strongest. That's not a bad thing, so long as what you're feeling good.

Generally when we look down and to the left (the opposite direction), we are having a conversation with our self, aka: Self talk. And if we are feeling depressed, our self talk is probably not going to be very positive. And an obsessive loop occurs... We feel bad... We talk to ourselves about how bad we feel... We feel worse... We talk to ourselves about how much worse we feel... This makes us feel even worse and the downward spiral continues...

That said, that doesn’t mean that you can’t have the same loop going on by just looking down and in one direction. You absolutely can.

So what can you do about it? Same as step one. Remember, we get “stuck” easily by looking down, so have her LOOK UP and smile more. A lot more.

Step Three: Address that diet (with her doctor) including water intake. A safe suggestion is 8- 10 glasses of clean water a day. The healthier she is willing to go with it the better but I wouldn’t push too hard if she’s not on board with it. The last thing you want to do is give her something (or someone) to push against with her challenges. It could create a whole other problem all together.

Step Four: Now that you have her in a more resourceful state, it’s time to start asking her what she would really like to achieve with your work together. Help her create some positive goals. Even if small goals such as learning a new like playing an instrument. She’s most likely not in a place to set the goal of traveling across the world in 20 days and that’s just fine. Baby steps turn into giant leaps pretty quickly so long as they are consistent.

Step Five: Use hypnosis to FUTUREPACE her. No need for somnambulism for this by the way. Far from it.

Continue to work with her with learning how to “turn up positive feelings”. How? It’s simple (and again, no need AT ALL for somnambulism). Have her think of a time where she felt good… Really good. She may/may not have a challenge with this and if she does, GREAT. In many ways you’ve just struck gold because you’re going to be giving her a powerful experience of HOW to FEEL GOOD when she wants (so long as she’s willing to put in a little effort for it) even though she may not have had many past experiences of it.

A. Have her associate to a recent positive memory. Warning!!! DO NOT DO THIS IN A DEEP TRANCE AND DO NOT REGRESS HER TO A DISTANT MEMORY, EVEN A POSITIVE ONE! Hear me on this one. A negative “gestalt” memory can just as easily be attached to a positive memory and you could potentially step on what I call a “land mine” (because neither you nor the client expects it) and I just don’t think you’re ready to handle something like that yet.

Be Smart. Be Safe. Your clients well being depends on it. That said.. You can easily have her think about a recent positive memory in the present moment . Ask her to do that and point to where in her body she feels in the strongest. It doesn’t matter how strong she’s feeling it because you’re going to help her turn up those feeling and learn that she is in control now…

B. Now that you she is in touch with this positive feeling in her body, ask her to tell you what direction it’s moving… Up/down, side/side, clockwise/counterclockwise? Whatever direction it’s moving, ask her to have it move faster… Then ask her to allow this feeling to move up through her body, outside of her head and back into where it started.

C. Ask her to imagine this feeling as a color, any color she chooses.

D. Next, have her continue to have this feeling circle through her and flow through her entire body from the top of her head, to the bottom of her toes. Keep doing this until she has the hang of it herself.

Step Six: Do all of the above and report back during, if you have any questions, and report back after if you would like additional ways of helping your client even more.

Every client is unique and the above isn't exactly a manual for building a desk but if you take it seriously, notice what's working, notice what's not, and change your approach accordingly while staying crystal clear on your outcome for your client, you will become a profoundly more effective practitioner and considerably safer.

She'll need to continue working on herself in a goal oriented manner (with or without you or someone else) but this should give a solid foundation to do that with.

If you have any further questions, feel free to contact me via Skype, username: empowermentquest or by phone if you have a good long distance plan 619-602-3633

And again… Be Smart… Be Safe. As Scott mentioned, you were using a giant hammer for a fragile nail…


Stay Well,

Kevin

Live NLP, Life Coach & Hypnosis Training Certification

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