When the room disappears...

I wanted to share something that has been happening for me over the last week or so and perhaps some of you have had similar experiences?

During the Christmas break, I took the opportunity to redecorate my home office, from which I work: change of colour on the walls (from white to soft grey), new curtains, new desk and chair, out with old bookcases in with smarter new ones of a different style and colour. There is a little sidetable where I place a glass of water for each new client - and that is a new addition.

So far, not one of the clients that I had seen before the break has even noticed the changes.

At first, I thought maybe they were just too polite to comment on the changes. Then I started asking some of them at the end of the session 'Just out of interest, have you noticed anything different about my room?'

They look around and say, 'No...' or 'wasn't your chair over here before?' even though it hasn't actually moved position. Or... 'Erm... Is that a new lamp?' (It's not.) Fascinating.

I have one client whom I've been working with off and on for over a year... and he was amazed to realise that he couldn't spot a single change. It was actually really helpful in furthering his understanding about the unhelpful trance that he is currently finding himself in much of the time and how he can change this: We see what we expect to see, what we choose to see, what we think we see, etc...

Of course, it's possible to argue that the decor is purposefully unobtrusive, calming... but I don't think this can be the whole story.

Does anyone else have similar stories?

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Permalink Reply by Jaime Nichols on January 12, 2009 at 5:13am

Sophie, you're not giving yourself enough credit. These clients are experiencing some very congruent negative hallucinatinations! That's some mighty elegant hypnosis work, if you ask me.

--Jaime

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Permalink Reply by Fable Goodman on January 12, 2009 at 5:44am

Hello,

I have noticed a variation of this many times over the years.

I haven't decorated my room or changed the furniture much in well over twenty years. For many years I have had a very large coffee tree which fills the space in my bay window. The two chairs I use are beside that, so we are sitting virtually under its branches.

When a guest comes into the room for the first time, the first thing they mention is the tree.

But when a client comes, I say something like... you may find one of those chairs the best place to sit... whichever suits you best. (one is higher and more straight backed, cushioned leather, the other is low, softer and more comfortable for most people.) they choose a chair, and I take the other one.

Sometimes after several sessions, they will arrive and notice the tree, and say something like "oh thats a lovely plant, have you just got it". I say "it has been there for twenty years." they say "well I never noticed that before"

I will then ask, them to have a good look around and tell me what else they now notice, and they will comment on the beautiful picture over the mantlepiece (directly in their line of view), and various objects on the mantlepiece which have been there all the time, but they have never got round to noticing.

I put this down to the fact that when they first arrive they have very little spare attention for anything other than their own issues/problems, and it is a new and strange experience talking about this to a stranger. They hardly ever take their eyes off me, and checking out the decor, is low on their agenda.

When they leave, the thing which is occupying their conscious mind it the session of hypnosis, and the various things we have talked about and done. The settting is not what they are focusing on, or remembering.

After we work together for some sessions, they get to feel more and more comfortable with the situation/ process, and let go of some of their tensions/ anxieties which were blindfolding them, and suddenly have enough free attention to notice what has been there all the time.

I don't particularly put this down to anything I have conciously done, (other than holding their attention for a good time).

The natural occuring metaphor of becoming more aware of the surroundings, and things going on around them, seems to be a clear indicator of a parallel positive change on a personal level. ie less introspective focus on problems, more focus on what they are doing and what is going on around them.
This can then be woven into the therapy, to encourage further positive changes.

Love and hugs,

Fable

P.S. if you are in the area, feel free to come and sit beneath the tree with me, for a coffee and a chat

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Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on January 12, 2009 at 6:10am

In 1996 -- I was the house medical hypnotist in Medical Center that featured Dr Eric Braverman. One of the offices that I used to help my clients was Bravermans's "Brain Center" it was filled with very expensive technology including a BEAM (brain electrical activity mapping) machine, some monsterous looking neuro-ocular equipment and a complete compliment of neuro-feed back equipment... Dr B. would brag that I was working in the midst of the most sophisticated brain mapping/scanning equipment on the planet at that time --
In 1997, an Immunologist took over as medical director of the Center and all of Braverman's toys were removed from my office. Not one of my clients noticed that the "Brain Center" no longer was in the office...

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Permalink Reply by Sophie Nicholls on January 12, 2009 at 6:49am

Hi guys

Thank you for all your responses. It really is fascinating, isn't it?

I'm just wondering what a coffee tree looks like... I will have to look it up. Sounds wonderful!

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Permalink Reply by Michael Ellner on January 12, 2009 at 6:51am

We see what we expect to see, what we choose to see, what we think we see, etc...

Hi Sophie-

This is soooooo much bigger than clients not noticing that you upgraded your office--

I agree, what we see is limited by our beliefs and expectations-- but, I see no evidence of conscious choice in deciding what we see--

I believe that the complex of every day trances that we most often unknowingly see the world through-works to filter out anything and everything that challenges our mythologies...

Warmest regards,
me

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Permalink Reply by Eric G. Schneider on January 12, 2009 at 7:00am

Sounds like one of the many definitions of hypnosis to me!
Dimunition of peripheral awareness...

Over the years I have had many offices...and because of the focus of our work or what ever other reason...they simply never seem to notice...;-)

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Permalink Reply by Sophie Nicholls on January 13, 2009 at 11:01am

But perhaps as we become more consciously aware of our inner trances, we can begin to make choices?

I'm thinking here about one of my favourite books on hypnosis by Stephen Wolinsky, 'Trance People Live By.'

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Permalink Reply by Sophie Nicholls on January 13, 2009 at 11:02am

Yes, the metaphors we use are perhaps quite telling too... the 'focus' of our work...

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Permalink Reply by Skeitel on January 13, 2009 at 2:45pm

On the first meeting, they come in with a problem in mind, and wonder how exactly to present it to us. They wonder if other people had that problem before. They are nervous about meeting a new person. They are wondering what we are going to ask them and if we are going to go too deep and make them tell us something they'd rather not. Prior to that, they were busy getting directions to get there, parking and ringing the right bell. Once in, they start talking to us and try to see if they can trust us, at the same time that they try to analyse our skill through our words, and the reason for our questions. At the same time they have to follow the dialogue, and mentally prepare the answers. Many are ashamed of what they are talking about. Sometimes it is something they have not told anybody about. Some are still wondering at that moment if they are doing the right thing and whether this will help them or not...should they run away now? Why should they stay? What would happen if they leave? How long will the meeting last? Is it worth it? on and on and on...
On subsequent meetings, the mere fact of coming to visit us will produce a semi-trance in which reduced perceptions of surroundings is a normal occurrence. If we are good in our jobs, we'll take them deep in trance and produce time and spatial distortion.

Given such overload, we are lucky if they remember our face afterwards, let alone our furniture or our names...