Working with Middle Shcool and High School Students

Yesterday the vice-principle of the middle school and high school where my NLP Positive Changes Program is offered informed me that a student no longer desired to participate because he thought I was trying to control his mind so I sat with this information and the implications.

I thought of all sorts of ways that I can re-iterate that this program is about learning to control your own mind and how your brain learns and stores programs to un-learn/learn which belief systems you've acquired which lead to un-beneficial actions and E-motions and results/outcomes, how to challenge and analyze those belief systems, howw to control your E-Motions, and how to get to the behaviors (actions and emotions) and outcomes you desire.

I thought about how if this were mind control I’d be asking them to do something for me, I’d be asking them to be my minions, I’d be living in the dominion ( a pretty swanky place here in San Antonio) – which I could if I wanted to, but that's no the point. The point is I don’t ask anything of them for my direct benefit other than satisfaction I get seeing them achieve, successfully. I show them tools, techniques and mind models. I show them how to use them and give them direct experience of the benefits with demos. I promote making up your own mind and thinking, for a change (literally and metaphorically.)

I do this because I'm passionate about this work I do. I do this because I was one of them when I was a Ward of the State of TX at the age of 15 and later abducted and forced into the human slave trade/trafficking--escaping at the age of 16. I do this in hopes that no other child experiences what I experienced. I do this because the data shows that for every one out of five students sent to these schools ends up in prison before the age 24.

This particular student is a second year freshman and he has been sent to the discipline/alternative school 10 times in just the past 4 years. These are serious crimes and this is serious. The principle informed me that, "He had an opportunity to go to the early college high school this year. This would have given him the opportunity to earn up to 60 college hours and potentially an associates degree at the same time he would graduate from HS. All of his courses would have been Pre AP/AP/Dual Credit. All he had to do was make up his 9th grade core courses he failed last year by December and stay out of trouble and he could go starting Jan 12. This is his second visit to me this year and he has yet to complete the failed courses so he lost that opportunity. He is a second year freshman."

And, then this crossed my mind. What if this student really doesn’t want to stop coming to CDC and his SC-mind knows this is going to change as a result of putting all he learns into practice. I sure wanted this young adult to make this his last trip to CDC. Live and learn I have. I hope that what he’s learned thus far is enough to keep him grounded and prevent his return.

This makes the second biggest lesson I’ve learned from these seminars and I’m grateful for the lessons and experience. This will serve to make the program better and more beneficial to all. I am thankful that the seminars are under-surveillance and I do wish there was sound added to the observations. I will ask the principle if all the students know that the rooms are under surveillance? I am learning lots through this process and this is just one more thing to add to the program—reassurance of their safety and protection.

If you have any opinions, or ideas they are greatly appreciated.

Thank You,

Lorrie

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Permalink Reply by Karen Rothstein on February 4, 2012 at 6:47am

Wow, Lorrie, I feel your passion for assisting this age group. You have obviously given him a lot of thought. If this kid has been in an out of the system he is no dummy. I would agree with the thesis that the SC mind knows of the impending change. Remember, the role of the SC mind is to protect and keep us safe and secure. There is security for him in what he knows, verses where you are leading him. I am wondering where he is getting this idea. Is it from his peers or family who have a vested interest in his remaining the same?

If there is an opportunity to conference with him and the principal, I would take that opportunity and discuss the resources you are providing him. I don't know your curricula, but I'm sure you have already explained to the class it is impossible( well not totally) but you can not control his mind without his consent and intention. And you have neither.

I'm not sure of the school policy for opting out of a class, but I would ask for a three-way prior to him being released and work with him to see clearly the impact of his decision. With his under developed frontal lobe he can not see he is throwing away his future and may need individual guidance to go past the resistance and the gain he achieves for remaining the same within the family/peer system.

I'll be interested to read others' comments. Thank you for your commitment to youth and for using your talents on their behalf.

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Permalink Reply by Lorrie Hale-Ozbey on February 4, 2012 at 7:08am

Karen, thank you for your response, advice and questions. I will approach the principle with this idea.

During the "big seminar" where I inform and invite the students to participate in the program I usually ask for a show of hands of students who been to the CDC (Comal Discipline Center) more than once. Usually, the repeat offenders have been been sent upwards 6, or more times. Then, I ask them if they think it's better at the CDC than their regular schools. And, yes the response is overwhelming. They feel the structure is better and that they learn more and feel more welcomed. I remind them they cannot graduate from the discipline school. Consciously they know this, but their behavior speaks otherwise.

The program is working bc recidivism (repeat offenders) is reduced from 72% to less than 11% since I began the program May 2010. Discretionary student placement (soft issues) has significantly reduced to almost zero, and mostly it's the Mandatory placements (felony charges) that I;m left with in the program. This is a district wide effort. Student placements has reduced from approximately 120 students per term to less than 30 per term. The principle jokes that I''m working her out of a job, and I do think there's real concern there also. My response is we should be glad to both be out of a job in this context.

Possibly, meeting with this student to listen and understand I can determine an approach to inspire his renewed interest in continuing the program.

Thank you

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Permalink Reply by James Hazlerig - HypnosisAustin on February 4, 2012 at 8:36am

Lorrie,

It's great that you're not willing to give up on even one student--but sometimes you have to recognize that some people are not ready to change. The reasons they give are often not the real reasons, so don't take this student's action as a criticism of you or your program.

Take comfort in the fact that your program is working wonderfully, and realize that no one has a 100% success rate.

James

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Permalink Reply by Kelley Woods on February 4, 2012 at 11:45am

I agree with James, Lorrie. It's clear that you are doing a fantastic job that is reaping huge benefits now and for the future. Let this child go. I would release him with loving intention and if you have the opportunity, let him know that his strong and dynamic mind shows that he will be okay, no matter what. That's not what he might be expecting and may lead him to further investigate the ideas you have introduced to him.

Best, Kelley

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Permalink Reply by Lorrie Hale-Ozbey on February 4, 2012 at 2:45pm

Thank you James and Kelley.

I recognize that there are some kids who will just not get what they want from my program and I'm not out to save the world, really I'm not--just one child at a time. I do know there is a great possibility that the reason for not participating may be some reason that makes sense to him. But, I do want to at least hear what he has to possibly say, if anything at all.

The only other time a child exited my program he committed suicide a few months later. I don't hold myself responsible for that, but I did change my program as a result. In fact, now suicide issues are a component of my program. There have been lots of kids join simply bc I covered that issue. That was the first major lesson I learned. This issue might be the second major lesson. I also want to ensure that each child understands this is NOT about me controlling their mind--especially given the recent news concerning hypnosis and principles. I do not practice hypnosis in the school only NLP for that reason. It is unfortunate but a reality.

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Permalink Reply by Bernard Rapol on February 5, 2012 at 1:47am

Maybe you can show him a positive side to hypnosis (NLP is just hypnosis to me) by using an area he is interested in f.i. sports, culture, music, or perhaps something like pain control.

Show him that with hypnosis you can anaestesize yourself, show it on another person and make sure the message is: "from now on, this person controls his own pain! Isn't that great! His mind controls his body and he controls his mind."

But perhaps use the computer and machine terms. Your mind is a computer, which controls the body-machine.

Once the interest is there, then go for the real thing.

Greetings

Bernard

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Permalink Reply by Lorrie Hale-Ozbey on February 5, 2012 at 5:13am

Hi Bernard,

Thank you. You passion is evident.

Here in the states making the connection between NLP and hypnosis isn't a great idea when working with K-12 students within the schools--in the office it's an entirely different matter. I do inform everyone that I am a hypnotist (parents, students, and supervisory school board) and I require parental permission forms to be signed authorizing participation. But I also make it clear that the program is an NLP program and if they want me to work with their child as a hypnotist they will need to pay for that exclusive service in my office, privately and one-on-one.

There has been some negative press lately concerning hypnosis and hypnotists and schools (K-12). I'd rather avoid any potential issues and besides I highly value hypnosis and my skills as a hypnotist so I charge accordingly for those services. Hopefully, you can read between the lines here.

Having said that, I do agree showing rather than telling is effective. I do all sorts of demos in my "big talk" mentioned above. I make it as applicable as possible. My talks are very, very interactive and young adults love to participate and ask questions. They are forthcoming with all sorts of information relevant to their interests and concerns. Their questioning during my presentation also informs me as to what's relevant to them. That's one of the beauties of NLP--an entire audience can be a demo, simultaneously. You can guide an entire audience through a series of mental exercises relevant to them and their concerns or inspirations.

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Permalink Reply by Barry Neale on February 5, 2012 at 7:52am

Hi Lorrie,

First let me say I am really impressed by what you are doing. You deserve a medal!

With the boy who thinks you are trying to control him you could try to utilise his belief rather than try to change it.

Remember one of the basic presuppositiions of NLP is to accept their model of the world.

So, you might say to him, "Ok, well how can you maintain control and still participate in the exercises?

You and I both know that I am not going to be able to control you so what I would like you to do is to come along to the session just to make sure that I am not trying to control anyone else. You can just pretend to the others that you are doing the exercises but you and I will know that you are not really and then maybe you can fool everybody so that you never have to come to the CDC again.

It's just a thought

Barry