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Everyone has lost someone, or something of importance. Let's start a discussion on the hypno-methodology that might be utilized to address the pain of that loss. Perhaps you have experience in dealing with loss yourself or with a loved one, or a client and have some particular tool that helped you move past the dark time.

I'll start. I have helped a client in the past who just was "stuck" in her grief. Although it had been over three years since her husband had died, she still was overcome by insomnia, deep sorrow, regret, lack of appetite and a general loss of any hope of a happy future for herself.

The most powerful point in our work occurred at the point when we were doing Gestalt chair therapy and she got to finally address her husband. This session lasted over an hour, during which she not only got to tell him everything she wished she had been able to, but she also got to hear him tell her everything she needed to hear. Things went forward from that day on.

Your turn!

Tags: bereavement, death, grief, hypnosis, loss

Views: 17

Replies to This Discussion

Hi Kelly
I have found Gestalt a brilliant tool for helping with bereavement, as people can let go of all the stuff they wanted to say but couldn't, even if it's just goodbye, I recently had a client who married around the time of her mothers death, so she didn't get to see the wedding and though she still wasn't happy with her size at the wedding she could now look back on it as a happy time in her life. If my client was a child when a death happened, I have also used inner child work. In one case all they needed was to let go of the emotion, almost like getting permission to enjoy life again, all I needed to do was get her to cut the negative ties/emotions to the event, leaving her with the positive emotions and memories which I mostly use after all Gestalt work.

Pete
Hello,
We have lost a loved one and I would really like to help some of my family members. I was wondering where would I learn Gestalt Chair therapy. It sounds like something which would really be beneficial for the brother of individual who passed away.
Hi Jaqi,

Gestalt chair therapy is a technique credited to Frederik and Laura Perls, who were blacklisted in pre-war Nazi Germany and then fled to America. It involves having the client imagine a person who is significant to their issue sitting a few feet in front of them in a chair. The client is given the opportunity to safely address this person and verbalize emotions that may not ever have had the opportunity to be expressed. Extra insight and emotional release can occur when the client "switches" places with the imagined person.

In the case of grief work, the client may let the deceased know how much he is missed and loved, etc. Often, emotions of guilt or regret also are released. Questions may be asked. Then, the client is instructed to "be" the person in the chair and address the "client". Questions may be answered. Reassurances, explanations may be given. In the case of a parent dying prematurely, for instance, it is very healing for the "child" to hear that the parent did not want to leave.

Once the client has concluded the dialogue, any remaining painful or negative ties or emotions are symbolically "cut" (represented as ribbons or strings) and the chair person is released (floats away or flies with wings, etc). It is important that the client conducts all conversation, of course, as it is the subconscious parts having the actual dialogue. As Pete mentioned, it can be very cathartic and create instantaneous change.

This is a very limited explanation of Gestalt chair therapy. I recommend you research it further as there is plenty of information available online regarding the process and applications. You will read of warnings of abreaction, but I personally find them to be healing without being invasive in this technique.

Hope this helped, Kelley

jagi egnell M.H.C.Ht said:
Hello,
We have lost a loved one and I would really like to help some of my family members. I was wondering where would I learn Gestalt Chair therapy. It sounds like something which would really be beneficial for the brother of individual who passed away.
Kelley,
Thank you for the explanation, I will research it as well. I hope this doesn't sound silly, but is gestalt therapy done with clients eyes open or closed. I know they go into deep hypnosis.
Hi Jaqi
Grieving is a natural process and will take longer for some than others, the time to use Gestalt is when the person is stuck in part of the grieving process, usually between the anger at being left and sadness. Some people just get stuck in sadness and feel or think it would be disrespectful to feel happy so they remain in mourning for a long time. These would be the times to use Gestalt, there may well be some abreaction, but as Kelly says it's part of the healing, letting go of stored up emotion, in some cases that may be the first time someone has cried or expressed what they truly feel, without embarrassment. How we use it while in hypnosis. Put the client in a circle of light, the person they need to talk to in another circle of light, I always point out if it is very personal they say it in their (clients) mind but let me know when they are finished, then listen to what the other has to say, back and forth until all has been said. they can give them a hug, say their goodbyes, and cut away the negative ties, leaving them with the positive emotions of love, happy memories etc of course the client/brother has to be ready to move on, as I said some take longer for some to go through the grieving process.In the case of feeling OK to be happy, it may help if you point out that they will still miss that person, certainly on special occasions, which again would be natural, as long as it is in proportion and not debilitating.

Best Wishes

Pete

jagi egnell M.H.C.Ht said:
Hello,
We have lost a loved one and I would really like to help some of my family members. I was wondering where would I learn Gestalt Chair therapy. It sounds like something which would really be beneficial for the brother of individual who passed away.
Pete gave a great example of how to use the Gestalt therapy in hypnosis and yes, it is conducted while the client is in a hypnotic trance with eyes normally closed. I usually move into it after a deepening induction. This therapy is especially useful for clients who are somewhat reticent about getting in touch with their emotions as it provides a safe modality to do so. Besides allowing the dialogue to happen, I sometimes interject and clarify or insert appropriate observations that the client has previously revealed.
Thank you for the information given, also I hope it is somewhat similar to parts therapy. Roy Hunter is coming to BC and I am enrolled in his parts therapy class and I did read his book and he did touch up on gestalt therapy a little in the book so hopefully he will be able to provide some more insight into this really fascinating way of providing therapy. I am a fairly new hypnotherapist, I hope my questions don't sound too novice.
Hi Jagi, et al,

Great info being shared --
One can use "Gestalt" like approaches within their hypnotic "ritual" or just have the client go through the exercises without formal induction -- Both ways can be very effective.

Over the years I have also found "psychodrama" like approaches to be another very useful resource --

My recommendation is not to get locked into or worry about the exact way of using these approaches and instead digest the essence of these approaches and do it your way...

Michael E.

jagi egnell M.H.C.Ht said:
Thank you for the information given, also I hope it is somewhat similar to parts therapy. Roy Hunter is coming to BC and I am enrolled in his parts therapy class and I did read his book and he did touch up on gestalt therapy a little in the book so hopefully he will be able to provide some more insight into this really fascinating way of providing therapy. I am a fairly new hypnotherapist, I hope my questions don't sound too novice.
Hi Jaqi
We had Roy over for a parts workshop, He is a really nice bloke. Parts is different as you will be calling up different parts of a client and mediate between them so that they come up with a solution, in parts you may call up the part that is grieving and the part that wants to move on, the parts negotiate via you or directly between themselves to benefit the client, again very powerful stuff,the similarity being the interaction to resolve an issue. I hope you enjoy the class, we all did.
We were all novices once and still are to some degree, as there is always something to learn and people to help which is the beauty of this forum.

Pete

jagi egnell M.H.C.Ht said:
Thank you for the information given, also I hope it is somewhat similar to parts therapy. Roy Hunter is coming to BC and I am enrolled in his parts therapy class and I did read his book and he did touch up on gestalt therapy a little in the book so hopefully he will be able to provide some more insight into this really fascinating way of providing therapy. I am a fairly new hypnotherapist, I hope my questions don't sound too novice.
Hi Michael
I agree, working with a client recently, using Gestalt I got her to put the person who wanted the cakes and the healthy choice person and a higher self into different circles of light and got her to negotiate,until she could finally cut the negative ties to cakes/sweets so I guess it became a parts/gestalt therapy mix.


Pete


Michael Ellner said:
Hi Jagi, et al,

Great info being shared --
One can use "Gestalt" like approaches within their hypnotic "ritual" or just have the client go through the exercises without formal induction -- Both ways can be very effective.

Over the years I have also found "psychodrama" like approaches to be another very useful resource --

My recommendation is not to get locked into or worry about the exact way of using these approaches and instead digest the essence of these approaches and do it your way...

Michael E.

jagi egnell M.H.C.Ht said:
Thank you for the information given, also I hope it is somewhat similar to parts therapy. Roy Hunter is coming to BC and I am enrolled in his parts therapy class and I did read his book and he did touch up on gestalt therapy a little in the book so hopefully he will be able to provide some more insight into this really fascinating way of providing therapy. I am a fairly new hypnotherapist, I hope my questions don't sound too novice.

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