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Comment by Jon Rhodes on November 2, 2010 at 12:01pm

A man walks into a dentist's office saying, "Excuse me, can you help me? I think I'm a moth."
Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist."
Man: "Yes, I know."
Dentist: "So why did you come in here?"
Man: "The light was on...."

Comment by Marianne Robson on July 2, 2010 at 2:35pm

Did you hear that Fabio (coach of the England football team) has arranged a match with Iceland? If they win, they'll also play Tesco, Waitrose and Sainsbury's...
(for those in the dark, Iceland is the name of a frozen food supermarket in the UK, the others are all supermarkets...)

Comment by Jon Rhodes on May 31, 2010 at 4:44am

I've just heard a great joke about procrastination. I'll post it on here later...

Comment by Cheryl Westley on May 30, 2010 at 4:41pm

Speech patterns?? LOL http://www.wimp.com/badschool/ (video 1:37min)

Comment by Jon Rhodes on April 11, 2010 at 11:17pm

Check out these excuses for illegal parking, including "I was hypnotised to park illegally!" http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/2928058/Crazy-excuses...

Comment by Jon Rhodes on April 3, 2010 at 10:03am

Some great singing there Cheryl, thanks!

Comment by Cheryl Westley on March 26, 2010 at 8:44pm

Completely unrelated: http://trololololololololololo.com

Comment by Cheryl Westley on March 26, 2010 at 5:30pm

Randall Monroe strikes again. http://xkcd.com/719/

Comment by Marianne Robson on March 21, 2010 at 11:04pm

Here are the ten first place winners in the International Pun Contest:

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

3. Two Inuits sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?", they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said," I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan. " Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.

Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.

Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did

Comment by Cheryl Westley on March 5, 2010 at 4:50pm

Hi, I thought you should have this info. Interesting!!!!

Penguins

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go ?

Wonder no more ! ! !

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an

extremely ordered and complex life.



The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well

as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring

throughout its life.



If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family

and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their

vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird

to be rolled into and buried.



The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:





"Freeze a jolly good fellow"

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."



You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you!

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