Janet Large's Page

Hello All:
Much going on in life and I have not been on this site as much as I wanted. But, that is changing. I am looking forward to the HypnoSummitt and to dialoguing with all of you!
Jeri

Haven't heard back from you. Would you like me to withdraw the request to be added as a friend?

You are very welcome. I just hoped it helped. Having gone through personal loss myself, I know what it is like to be stuck in the grief process.

Your description of your client feeling better is most likely because she is talking about the pain, and allowing herself to let it go ... but she is still stuck. Regression and parts therapy could help her move on, if she is ready. Ericksonian language and metaphors while in hypnosis might be useful. There is an NLP technique called the timeline that could be useful, as well. She has to be willing to face her emotional pain in order to release it. Once she has finally grieved, there are several swish techniques that can be used with hypnosis that will allow her to change the picture in her subconscious about her loved ones ... switch from the painful memory, to one of a happier time with this loved one. Retaining the happy memory will allow her to accept the death as a part of life which she cannot control. She will need to accept that it is not her fault ... that there is nothing she could have done differently that would have changed the events. She should then be able to let go, and reclaim her own life.

Hi Janet,

I got the message you sent to all of us members of the Medical & Wellness Hypno group, and was wondering if you particularly wanted to get replies about grief just to you rather than having that as an open discussion on that group page so that all can benefit from it and participate? Either is fine, but if it were private for some reason I didn't want to post to the whole group. If you would enjoy a new group discussion, please post that and I will reply, thanks

Heron

I received this email, but do not see any discussion. Did you send it?

Depending on how close this person was to each these family members will probably indicate how long she will hold on to the grieving process. Deaths involving close family members can take 10 or more years.

Perhaps she needs to take a close look at what secondary gain she obtains by hanging on to the emotion, as she appears to be stuck in the grieving process. She may need to take a look at "why" she needs to hang onto the emotional pain. Survivor guilt? You can use NLP to change the mental picture involved with each member - but she will need to be to a point where she is willing to accept, grieve, and move on.

The 7 Stages of Grief

1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.

2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.
You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.

3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please control this anger, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.
You may question "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink again if you just bring him back")

4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.
During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.

5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly.





6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.

You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without pain; sadness, yes, but the wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living.




A message from Janet Large to all members of Medical, Health and Wellness Hypnosis Group on HypnoThoughts.com!

I am working with a woman that has lost 7 close family members in just 5 years. We have had several sessions. She feels that she is doing much better than she was with just medication and counseling, but she is still not coping well. I'm looking for suggestions and ideas that might help me turn her around.

Visit Medical, Health and Wellness Hypnosis Group at:
http://www.hypnothoughts.com/groups/group/show?id=716892%3AGroup%3A62577

Are you using hypnosis for weight loss ? If you can find a CD you like to listen to , you should listen to it everyday for 21 days. It will be a miracle ! Your whole life habits will change.I haven't quite got my class done yet, but I am getting close. I still need to do the power point and then make my CD. I am shooting for the fall but it may happen sooner depending on my time .

PS - be sure to connect with the IMDHA chapter down there

absolutely Janet - when you are ready - give me a call 7 come on up

Hi Janet - Nice to meet you! If you are interested, there is a South Sound Chapter of the NGH which meets in Olympia...you are welcome to join. (send me an email if you'd like more details.)

I am new to starting a business in WA, too. Other than making sure you become registered with the State Health Department (which requires that you've taken a course on H.I.V./AIDS) there aren't any special requirements. I'm giving myself 2 years to establish a good momentum before I determine whether I can make a go of it in my area (which is pretty remote in some ways). My hunch is that if you run the race like the turtle and keep at it, you can make it work anywhere. There's certainly no shortage of need, so it's about each individual and what kind of representatives of the field we are in terms of marketing, presentations, and results.

Best of luck, and let me know if you'd like to join the SS NGH Chapter. :)

Laura