According to the research Porn is good for us and Women who drink gain less weight

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Comment by Licentious Maladay on March 16, 2010 at 2:56am

*Raises glass to Pamela*

Well said! I had a friend who started a club in high school. The motto was: "Excess in moderation."

Hei Skol!

Lic

Comment by Cheryl Westley on March 14, 2010 at 8:24pm

xkcd http://xkcd.com/714/

Comment by Hugh Cole on March 12, 2010 at 9:39am

Hi Micheal,
I am always a bit leary of such studies. As they say Figures don't lie but liars sure can figure. Yes,, wine is fermented fructose and those are bad news calories. But wine also contains reservatrol, an anti oxidant known to inhibit adipose tissue formation and act somewhat as an appetite suppressant. The study did not follow the woman's life style choices, but I am betting that they kept thier intake to one glass of wine and then ate little or nothing after that. Certainly with larger consumption of Alcohol such a study would find far differant results, but alcohol in moderation may truly yield such a "sweet spot". That is, if weight is the only measure of health you choose to use,

Comment by Cheryl Westley on March 12, 2010 at 8:49am

Michael - I agree 100% ...in that way, damaging addictions are all the same. It's not the porn, or the alcohol, or the [insert substance here]. It's the thought behind the behavior.

Comment by Michael Ellner on March 12, 2010 at 8:18am

I really like your thoughts on this -D

Cheryl - I think that medicalizing behaviors, even compulsive behaviors is part of the problem and relieves people of self-responsibilty.

I trained with a radical addictions speicalist (Dr M. Dennis Paul) in the late 1980s and he taught there is only one addiction and that addiction is thought -- I have helped many multi-substance users and people with other compulsive behaviors take charge of their lives and health using his model --

We can help people change their thoughts, which automaticaly helps them change their behaviors and create new habits-

me

Comment by Donna Carter on March 12, 2010 at 7:18am

What I wanted to throw out there is... the idea that not everything is absolute.
Ideas, rules, laws, labels, feelings, etc. etc.... all change or are held to different standards depending on your paradigm, location, education, etc. etc.
Isn't that true, not just for porn, but for many things...all things.
That isn't theoretical...it's fact.
(fact....as much as anything can be a fact in a world where what is real for me isn't real for you, right?).
Thanks,
~D.

Comment by Cheryl Westley on March 12, 2010 at 7:04am

"Self Medication" is the Key; the difference between mere enjoyment and compulsive behavior.

Comment by Cheryl Westley on March 12, 2010 at 6:59am

Michael, I agree, under "normal" circumstances, the porn could be shared with the partner -- but with sexual addictions, the addict feels shame about it and hides it from the partner instead, going deeper and deeper into shame and into hiding.

As with most [damaging] sexual addictions, the self-medicating behavior via sexual expression exists long before any committed relationship. Then the addict falls 'in love' and truly believes/hopes that the new lover will free them from the prison they have been living in. This only lasts a while, before the old patterns surface and the erosion begins. There is no rhyme or reason to it; both the addict and the partner are confused (the addict confused and shamed; the partner confused and completely at loss).

I think this is an excellent area for healing through hypnosis -- IF the practitioner knows enough about what they are dealing with.

Comment by Licentious Maladay on March 12, 2010 at 4:27am

Donna,

You are absolutely right that there are healthy addictions, by which I mean an activity or thought that causes a dopamine surge in the brain's reward system. The biggies are eating and falling in love. What if you took the brain's natural addiction to food and supplied it with food that tasted good (i.e. satisfied the reward system) but had no nutritional value because it was laden with fats and sugars as well as missing nutrients, like protein? At that point the "good" addiction is perverted into a harmful one and the person suffers.

What if you took a man's healthy desire to seek a mate (pornography addiction is not limited to men but most of them are men) and supplied him with images that promise intimacy, but don't deliver?

I used to have a theoretical definition of pornography like yours. I thought it was harmless fun, as do most men. Many don't get it until challenged. Our standard challenge is, "OK, if it's not an addiction, try going without it for just two weeks." Most don't last one. Sex is a powerful motivator for men. Let's help men to use it in life affirming, positive directions.

Lic

Comment by Donna Carter on March 11, 2010 at 7:17pm

All interesting views. I thank you for sharing!

I totally agree everything should be in moderation or it can be dreadfully bad for you.
I also agree (although...I may have...inferred otherwise to 'get more heated views' -I'm shameful that way) porn on many occasions can have a Meth quality.
I disagree that all addictions are bad. I'm addicted to running, learning (although...that is a rough one on my bank account), spending time with my kids, I'm addicted to reading (I have to cut out any t.v. time to fit in my acquired amount of time I need for sitting back and sinking into a good book), I'm addicted to training my dog just...one... more ....behavior with the clicker, I'm addicted to hearing what someone will say next on hypnothoughts... see some things can be entertaining, enlightening, and good...to be addicted to.
It is true...many people are over 'diagnosed' with the negative label of 'porn addict'. Basically, the label has this elusive line drawn in the sand and depending on who you are around (could be the difference between west and east, Nashville vs San Francisco, downtown vs outskirts) determines who gets the label and who doesn't. I have met and have friends who live in both courts.
I find this topic... interesting. I suppose it comes down to ...not if someone actually watches porn but what is the definition of 'addiction' and how it is different for different people depending on their paradigm.
I did notice that some dictionary definitions only hold one definition - leaning toward the negative. However, I tend to grab onto Merriam Webster (because it suits me) because it has two definitions. The first one...the state or quality of being addicted (addicted to reading).
The second one... (and I'm paraphrasing) compulsive need for something until it causes harm.
So, in my life...I have used 'addicted' to mean both definitions depending on the situation. And just because I do know people (in my own family) who have had addictions (that caused disruption and harm) it doesn't negate the other definition. I still use it...and I like to use it. To say I'm addicted to running, outloud, motivates me to put my running shoes on in the morning.
It is what it is.
I guess my point is... although some people are addicted to porn...some aren't. Some people can watch it and watch it again...maybe in the comfort of their own homes and maybe even with their spouse present to liven things up. And...I still stand behind the thought that MANY people who are diagnosed with porn addiction - depends on where they are and who they are with.
But, uh.... I can't prove it.
Also, just because I'm thinking it... could the lack of acceptance of porn actually suck people in(?), so to speak. To run with your idea...it is forbidden - it is exciting.
~D.

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