Adrift

When I went to work, and got a new client, the man said to me:
"I don't think you can hypnotize me, and I came here because my friend
recommended you to me, but now that I'm here I don't think you can do
it."
I asked him:"Then what can I help you with?"
He told me he felt "lost", "adrift", far away from his loved ones as if
"there was something that made him distance himself from them"

This all reminded me of something I've heard a friend of mine say;
This friend, let's call him Jake, told me he went to a psychologist, and
got the woman confused, and that the woman was a bad therapist.
Jake told me, he wouldn't let that quack in his head, until she passed his tests, getting past his smarts.
To get him to stop being offensive and get him to give her a chance I asked him:
"Why go to a psychologist, when all you want to do is just display your
intellect? Wouldn't it be better to do that in school, where you have
all these teachers, you don't have to pay for the time you spend on
pestering them?"
He told me to go with him to the next meeting with the therapist, and judge for myself.
The next time he went, he picked me up, and I told him, that I would be
as objective as I could be, but that wouldn't always have to be what he
agreed with.
We went into the woman's office and he started to open up a bit, and she seemed happily surprised.
He told her about what we spoke about and that his attitude may have
been triggered by all the other therapists that "failed" him, so he
wanted to make sure she was the right one, by testing her insights.
I went out for a while, and when he got out of his session, I went over
to his therapist, and gave her my card, and told her to call me, to get
past his "barriers".
She called 2 days later, and I told her, that we wouldn't discuss her
sessions with Jake, but that I would give her some information to do
with as she liked.
Then I told her, that my friend needed to gain more self-confidence
before being able to talk about himself, and the best way she could do
that was by giving him subtle compliments related to what he had already
discussed with her.

The next appointment he had, he called me afterwards and told me she told him a story, of a man, that Jake reminded her of.
The story was about a man, who was stranded on a small island because of a shipwreck.
The man was really smart, like Jake, and good at building stuff, so he
built a cabin on the island that was so very comfortable, because he had
built it to serve him in all the luxury he wanted, and the only thing
he missed was the contact with other people.
The man spent months working on the house, so he wouldn't have to think
of how lonely he was, and he thought of all these very complex
constructions, and built them into the house, and even found a way to
use natural resources, to make fuel for his lamps.
After about 4 months he got spotted, by a marine vessel, but he didn't
want to come aboard, because he didn't want to leave his well built
house on the island.
The captain told him they had no time to stay and convince him, and had
to get back to doing their original tasks, and left him on the island,
with some supplies.
The man used the supplies and after they were done, he started to get
mad at the captain, for leaving him on that blasted island he had come
to hate so much.
After a few days an other vessel came, with some fishermen, that got
told by the captain of the marine-ship that there was a man stranded on
the island, but had a hard time saying farewell to his self-built cabin.
When the man heard that, he got so mad, he started throwing rocks at the fisherman, who got on his boat and sailed away.
After 2 weeks the family of the man came in a helicopter, and asked him
to come home with them, but the man asked them:"Why didn't you come
sooner? Why wait, until they could take away his "new home", to pick him
up?"
The man's father who was not only a smart man, but also very wise, told
him, they would come again and again, to visit him, and eventually pick
him up, when he was ready.
Because a helicopter was a very expansive thing to rent, they could only
visit him once a month, but that didn't seem to bother the man.
After a few days a storm broke out, and swept the cabin off the island, and left the man broken in the wild by himself.
The man was so tired that building a new one would be too much, and he built a small shack to keep him dry and covered.
The next day the fisher-boat that came there earlier seemed to have
stopped there to repair some damages on the ship, that they acquired in
the storm. The man came to them, and asked if he could go with them to
the mainland.
The fisherman, told him to get lost, because he wouldn't help a man, that would throw rocks at him.
The man was ashamed and got depressed, and got back to his shack to sleep.
After 4 weeks of living under bad conditions the helicopter of his
family landed and he got on board even before they stopped the rotors.
His father asked him:"What made you change your mind?"
and the man replied:"My home was destroyed, and I haven't the energy to build a new one"
The father looked at him, and said:"My dear son, how could you call that
piece of wood your home, when there is no-one to talk to? It seems to
me, you have been fleeing from your loneliness only to gain more of it"

After Jake had heard this story, he suddenly started relating to the
story and opened up to the therapist, because he too wanted to connect.

The man that came in my office looked at me, when I was done talking,
and his eyes "told" me, that he was in a deep trance, and while he
looked at me, I said:"To show me, I can't hypnotize you, try to keep
your hand from drifting upward towards your face! and while you feel
that hand coming up, and your face coming towards it like 2 magnetic
ends, when your rising hand reaches your face, you'll go even deeper in a
hypnotic trance then you are now, because you are in a trance already,
don't you feel it?
If you close your eyes, you'll be better able to feel it, or you can
wait, until your hand reaches your face, to close them, it's your
decision"
The man went into a deep somnambulistic trance and turned into a true
believer, and called me to tell me he would go on a vacation with the
family a week later.