Learning to Forgive by Doris Donnelly

Comment

Comment by Shen Client on August 26, 2010 at 3:30pm

It seemed to me I had said almost this exact thing on my blog. It took me a while to find the post, but here is the link if you're interested:
http://reunitedselves.blogspot.com/2010/04/unconditional-love-and-f...

Comment by docregal.com on August 23, 2010 at 11:07am

Once we are able to overcome denial and deal with our emotions (anger, sadness, fear, doubt, procrastination, defiance and arrogance), we arrive at destination point: forgiveness and acceptance of self and others. This end result, self integration, is our emotional mastery. Because we experience "freewill", our freedom of expression, we are at our best when we tune in to our actualized selves.

Comment by GAIL GUEVARA on August 23, 2010 at 8:58am

I would like to share an excerpt from Lazarius about Forgiveness

The stages for those who are not familiar with forgiveness are:

Stage One: Denial ... denying the need to forgive ourselves or others or denying the value of forgiveness.

Stage Two: Then comes the blame stage. We know that blaming does not work, but that does not stop us from doing it in life. [g] And it is the second stage of forgiveness. Once we really own that there is something to forgive and that there is value in forgiving, then we hit the blame stage. This can be blaming others ... or it can be self blame. But it is a stage, as Lazaris points out, and we need to deal with it. I think if we ignore this stage, for example, the forgiveness risks not being complete.

Stage Three: Self-pity ... Yeah, need I say more? [g]

Stage Four: Indignation ... This is such a powerful stage. And we, spiritual people that we are, often deny this stage or want to say we don't have this stage, but it is there. I have found that it is essential to respect this stage.

Fifth Stage: Becoming conscious of the why of the situation or circumstance of forgiveness ... learning the lesson that is there ... giving meaning and significance to the constricting and the expanding potentials of the situation before forgiving it.

Stage Six: Freedom. See, that is why I think we know when we are done ... freedom.

Stage Seven: The final stage that Lazaris talks of: Integration ... the actual forgiving of self and then of others and moving on ... He stresses the moving on ... let it go and move on ... it is part of the intensity of the force and energy that is the dynamism of forgiveness.

Comment by Bill Kennedy on August 23, 2010 at 7:35am

How does a client learn to forgive themselves?

Comment by Ron Franks on August 23, 2010 at 5:47am

I agree and I would add that one can evolve in Consciousness to a level where one realizes that they are responsible for their experience and in that realization there is nothing to forgive as no harm from another is experienced or even possible unless one allows it (which one does not do as no one consciously chooses to suffer unless one does).

Comment by docregal.com on August 22, 2010 at 2:40pm

"...frequently enough, people enter the psychotherapeutic relationship not to be better, but simply to feel better."

Ibid. Pg. 85

Comment by docregal.com on August 22, 2010 at 2:37pm

"For many people...the first experience of a forgiving relationship occurs in therapy between the patient and the therapist. There the therapist's 'forgiving' act is not a single, dramatic event but a laborious 'translation,' item by item, liberating the components of the person's life from their unsound context and salvaging them, in a manner of speaking, by transferring them into healthy structures."

Ibid. Pg. 62-63