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turning away a relative
Yesterday I turned away a relative whom ask me to use hypnosis to help her quit smoking. I ask a few assessment questions; 'on a scale from 1 to 10 how much do you want to quit, and how ready are you.' She spoke of many related things except for answering the questions. I explained that if she is having difficulty submitting to answering these question, I didn't think was ready to submit to the process as a whole. She was still insistent, and after a few rounds of continued not answering, she capitulated and answered with 15 (in my view 5 more than compliance) and 7-8 +/- 1. So I proceeded to the next step. I asked if she was going to smoke her last cigarette now and just throw away the remainder or smoke her last cigarette (inferring to the rest of the pack, but trying to suggest 'last cigarette') in the next day or two then we'd began. She spoke of emergency packs, patches (I didn't mention how these strategies obviously failed to this point), and being hypnotized now and finishing the pack at her leisure. With the resistance to the simple questions, and and her insistence to use hypnotisms as a supplement to techniques the has failed in the past. I felt she'd be resistant to the whole process and didn't want to set myself and her up for failure. I suggested that she come back when she smoked her last cigarette and we could proceed.
Comment
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Comment by Richard Nongard - NLPBoard.com on May 29, 2010 at 11:03am -
Well Done! You didn;t say you wouldn't hep her, but rather told her how you COULD help her. I think you handled a touch situation prefectly. When she is really ready, and has had her last cigarette, I think she will be back - and it will be at that point that you can help her be a success.
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Comment by Cheryl Westley on May 29, 2010 at 9:32am -
Tough love... not easy, and more than a little disappointing... but always better in the long run.
I highly respect your decision and your resolve!
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Comment by Kelley Woods on May 29, 2010 at 8:38am -
I agree with your choice to put her off. It's a matter of self-protection as much as preserving your family relationship.
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Comment by Fable Goodman on May 29, 2010 at 7:56am -
well done!
There are two sepaarte issues here.
One is working with relatives/ friends etc. (nearly always a bad idea I think)
the other is working with someone who apears to be setting themself (and you) up for failure.
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