what can I do?

Hey everyone, I'm going to lay some of my "issues" out on the line here.  For years I have always been very dependant on people - in a really bad way.  I've always felt stuck/helpless, and this is apparent in many areas of my life. 

Recently I did some pendulum ideomotor work with the part of me that feels "stuck and helpless".  I was able to find out it was caused around the ages of 5 to 7.  On two separate nights when I was doing this pendulum work I asked this part of me to give me a sign in my dreams of what might have happened, etc.  The dreams I had were horrific.  On both nights my dreams involved murders, and me feeling guilty in a way and a kind of extreme fright. 

After a few days I had remembered my parents telling me about our neighbors girlfriend that had been kidnapped and murdered in a very heinous way by his ex-girlfriend and an accomplice.  When I talked to my mom recently about this, I asked her if I was present when the neighbor had come over.  She told me that she was smart enough not to my sister or I be around because she knows that kids are very impressionable.  However, she thinks that I might have over heard her and my father talking about it.

I've kind of come to the conclusion that a really good regression session might help to get my life on the right track.  The only problem is that being on a small Island (Kaua'i) we don't really have that many hypnotherapists.  There is one lady that I think might be able to help, but then the "stuck/helpless" thing comes back up (I don't have a car and she is quite far away) and I find a way to not be able to make it to the ladies place or even book an appointment.  Also having a crappy job (I'm a dishwasher) makes it really hard to be able to pay for a session.  She did however agree to do some sort of barter for website work - then her husband decided to do her website.  So I'm not sure if she would want to do any other kind of barter.

Some of my "symptoms"/"issues" I guess you could say are:

1. Not following threw on things.  A lot of times I get an extreme feeling of being overwhelmed and I will find a way to distract myself from what I should be doing.
2. Not progressing in life at all.
3. Being way to dependant on people.
4. A bunch of more stuff that I can't even think about now

I'm at a total loss for what I should do now.  Right before writing this blogpost I thought about doing some more ideomotor work to further connect with this part and then making a self-hypnosis track.  With the self-hypnosis track I would try to get this "part" of me to give me any additional information..etc.  Anyone have any advice on this?

Antonio

p.s. I have been working with someone from hypnothoughts, but I really haven't held up my end of the bargain.  I don't know what it will take to get me in the right direction...I just need to get it done asap.