Abuse Support

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Comment by Wendy Parker 4 hours ago

Hi Pauline,
yes, Middlesbrough, North East England was where the whole abuse debacle took place, that is where my sister lives. What a small world.
Fancy your book being called "Beside Myself" ha! Is this a personal memoir?
I think it's quite common to lose years of your life from your memory with this stuff, time seems to be distorted too. The year of a big event or what event happened first etc., It's amazing how our minds choose to cope with events isn't it:-)
I was reading your health history and read '97 car crash' my immediate reaction was "shi** she needs to hand in her drivers license before she kills herself!" Ha!Wow! you and your body have really suffered some major abuse and sufferring,
I will talk later I have to actually work now.bummer.
Take care Pauline...really!

Comment by pauline owl 4 hours ago

I found it thank goodness I had saved a copy think my net had disconnected.
I wish you well loking for a partner I think you are ready for one I on the other hand will never be,,,, well unless I can find some one to fill all my criteria who is impotent ,,lol or like my last fiance he was gay
I had a relationship last year first time in ten years,thought I could hack it at last he was, kind generous tall dark fit ,handsome wealthy well known figure in the local goverment ,,,,,the local catch ,,,,I finished it with him,,,,,,, because

Comment by pauline owl 4 hours ago

Hi wendy fellow survivor
thank you for sharing yes I understand all you have said can I say how much I admire you to have done all the work on your self to get you to this point in your life where you are here to tell your story your "clearing" is awesome.I am writing a book and guess what its called " Beside Myself " I have been there with you! a person who has lived with PTSD since a child I survived by putting it all behind me ! I forgot,simple as that I dont just mean the torture & abuse I mean years of my life and all the people in it good as well as the bad that where around me during that time , while appearing to be a very normal person. I first realised this when I stopped at a zebra crossing to let a man cross who seemed familar to me but I couldnt remember where from? it came to me 1 hour later !!!!! it was STILL my husband the father of my daughters. Unfortunatly shock does terrible things at the celullar level and I have had major health probs 7 ops 4 major surgerys as recent as 2 yrs ago my L3 disc shattered (muliple spinal injuries from 97 car crash) and a piece was compressing the root of the nerves when taken in to emergency my left leg was already paralyised it wasnt looking good the Docs have to tell you worse scenaro,Fourtunatly for me I was ask able to ask the Spirit Doctors to help this time I made a great recovery. MRI of whole spine showed possible cancer matastasis (2 ) in C 3/4 possible from breast ( the tumour removed from my breast had grown back twice as big it was diagnosed as benign from a needle biopsy 13 yrs ago I had refused any further investigation into it (Still do ) I refused to see Oncoligist or keep appointments instead set to work to stop them growing doing the Energy (from my Beloved Spirit guide through fellow medium) phyical and mental work.( I have been qualified E.F.T practicioner/counceller for 10 yrs) When I decided it was time i went for my 6th MRI I was told although they had showed up as metastis they had not developed so it wasnt cancer at this point but I was to go back every 6 months for MRI to check ! I havent even got a Dr now wont use one The only way they would get me to a hospital now is if I was unconcious or hypnotised .LOL .Because it is so quick I am now using hypnosis on people dying of cancer to remove pain and nausia because of drugs usually the last 2 wks morphine doesnt cut it.I remember the abuse cases that hit the head lines that was in the North east wasnt it?I was involved with my friends in the first Child Watch org founded in Lpool every single member had been victim of abuse they approached T.V. Ester Ranson she put it on the map on her show /the rest is history yes really because of them the goverments Childline was founded ,,,,enough for today,, many blessing from the light fellow worker
lots of love and light Pauline

Comment by pauline owl 5 hours ago

I have not got the hang of this at all my comments dont seem to get through my last one has dissapeared yet again I will go looking for it on the back of my eagle LOL.....yes me to!!! as Scorpio my totems are eagle/ serpant my first experience eagle dreaming( native aussie stuff ) was flying over Niagra falls

Comment by Michael Ellner 1 day ago

Hi,
Hi Wendy, et al --

I have run 100s of "Wellness/Healing" Groups for people living with AIDS and the gist of it is -- Surviving is not enough -- The people in our groups were there to put it behind them -- because life is about thriving...

We can help clients learn how to extract the suffering from their painful experiences and we can be so much more effective when we gift ourselves by processing our pain the same way...

Just saying...

Comment by Wendy Parker 1 day ago

Pauline,
Becoming involved in hypnosis has given me some understanding of the effect that deeper thoughts have created the life I lead. I can see that I am the creator of my life. I believe in reincarnation, therefore, it made sense to me and felt true for me, that I created this life, from what I understood from a previous life. I am continually creating. I don't know what louse hay is. I know that I have difficulty grounding and have lived most of my life "beside myself" not fully present to feel emotions. I have always been sensitive to energy, I think anyone who lives in a disturbed environment learns to tune-in to the instability very quickly, self -preservation. I would go to "other" places during the abuse and I was also quite psychic. I have always been very healthy, the only issue I have is with my left foot, which is a little deformed and causes pain at times. This I can understand from the poor grounding. My sister has had infertility and other female issues. Yes, I see that my children have inherited some of my fears. I can also see them change as I change, so I really have hope there. I always believed in a higher power, although until the last year or so, I never believed that God/Universal energy was there for me but I have had amazing things happen when I have been with patients, things appearing that I needed, amazing feelings of love surrounding me and my patient, guidance when I needed it. All this I accepted as natural because of my understanding of this greater energy. This last year I have, with hypnosis, remembered the places I used to go - my energetic self -for safety, I am also remembering other places I have been. The experiences I have had, which I really didn't give a second thought to, are now coming to my mind and I can see that this Universal energy has always been with me too. I am very lucky in that I have been able to see so much love in amongst all the horrors of this world. I have been divorced since my children were very young, I have always had many good reasons why I did not want to re-marry but I can see the truth of my fear now. I am now concentrating on being more present/grounding, appreciating myself and allowing a good man into my life:-) So, if you know of any Ha! I had a spontaneous PLR, in which I was paid to kill people with my mind. I knew there was a reason I didn't want to do PLR's Ha! I have always had a connection to my future self. When I meditate or focus I have become an eagle, perhaps you understand that. It is the most amazing experience and I am fully grounded and receiving energy from the earth, while I am flying. There are so many things I have experienced but I think I've divulged enough for you to be seriously concerned already Ha!
Thank your friend for me, I am British, my family all live there still and my sister had to ask for books on sexual abuse because they were kept under the counter. Her Dr/counselor was run out of town for bringing so many cases of abuse to the attention of the authorities. That was about 20 years ago now. Your friend must be very brave.
My understanding is, that I felt the world was an unsafe place and that is why I was drawn to the family I ended up in. I also had things to learn. I certainly do not condone anything that was done to me, my mother is dead and I have no contact with my father.
I have realized that the more I come to accept and care about myself, the less fear I have.
I wish you well Pauline

Comment by pauline owl on January 2, 2009 at 6:45pm

I have a theory that abused children often start escaping in to their electro magnetic energy field or "higher self "(what we hynpos call sub - concsious) and that is where we spend a great deal of our lives it makes it posible to get on with life and behave almost normal.I say almost we do tend to hide behind a mask and not show any real immotions,, but unfortunatly the fear never leaves us well not with out help I know the fear I have is at a cellular level its now in my DNA and was passed on to my children. how is you health? my experience any form of abuse will show up as pain and dis-ease sooner or later,,,,,,

Comment by pauline owl on January 2, 2009 at 6:26pm

Hi wendy I too am a "survivor" of some pretty horrific abuse . my friend coined this phrase when she was only 19yrs she started the first uk organisation and gave it this name. were both grannys now. I am courious as to how you arrived at the understanding ,"I created the life I was born to " are you a louse hay reader ? have you had any past life readings ?

Comment by Wendy Parker on November 2, 2008 at 11:38am

Well, here I am, no-one seems to have written in this gaping chasm that is abuse, in a long time. Perhaps it was waiting for me:-)
I was raised in a family where my mother would make sure I got "alone time" with my father, so he could sexually abuse me. Whenever SHE wanted something, I was the one that had to "go and ask your Dad."
The constant fear that I grew up with, was all I knew. It was an ingrained fear that was/is the main fulcrum that my life has spun from.
I have come to understand that I create my life, each minute. My understanding is, that as I realize that I, and my beliefs, continue to manifest themselves into what I know as my life, I also, created the life that I was born into.
Perhaps, a previous life ended with such fear, or perhaps I caused such fear to others, I don't know. I don't carry blame, it is what it is.
All my life and the people I bring into it... it's all about me, in the end.
I have spent most of my life overcoming fear, steeping myself in "other people's" fear. Confronting the most fearful. Single mother, paramedic, ER nurse...so many fears. How strong I thought myself to be, how strong, others thought me. When all the time, I was just trying to show myself how much fear I had inside. I believe I do have to be very strong to be able to see the fear inside myself. Fear is not weakness, fear is fear.
This is what I have realized about myself, today.
Ofcourse, I am many things, loving, compassionate, empathetic. I just had not acknowledged that I had not accepted my fear.

.....I'm just saying...